OP how long are you going to allow it to go on??????

Are you going to contact her OP??? I sure wouldn't have sex with him, and please get yourself tested.

Anonymous wrote:I posted many times but now you sound...unconvincing.

You can think whatever you want, but it's all real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...

Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.

I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.

Mi don’t think AI or troll. They are probably foreigners.

It just reads like a self-published novel on Amazon Kindle. “Anna thought she was living the American Dream. Her husband was an executive. She was a SAHM to an adorable son with special needs. Then she found out her husband had a corporate mistress. Could Anna save her marriage? Does she want to?” And then half way in, Anna somehow reconnects with her childhood friend Stefan who is even richer than her STBX. Plus his wife and son conveniently died in a car accident two years ago.

I'm going to bet OP is a native Russian speaker - some of the expressions she used give it away, e.g. saying mistress doesn't write "kiss", "At home my husband is controlling, despotic, raises his voice and always tries to make me look guilty in somethings". Those are common Russian sayings that don't really translate well into English.

OP, I think you're doing all the right things - lawyer up, keep silent and gather evidence, figure out a rock solid financial plan for yourself and your son. I don't think your husband really wants to leave, I think he just enjoys the attention from this other woman and likes having a companion when he travels for business. If you are looking at consulting work, then yes, a certification and a MBA-type degree would raise your salary.

Anonymous wrote:Op it sounds like you have a college degree and skills so I’m not sure a MA will do that much for your income. I’d start looking at your networks.

I have 2 degrees already, but very limited networks. I persuaded my husband promised to help me "build" a CV to cover the employment gap. I am looking, but now not that many interest for interviews, and mostly teleworking positions (from home) and low starting salary. If my starting salary now is the same where I had left it 10 years ago, imagine how much was lost for me professionally! I really want to be out of the house in the office.

I posted many times but now you sound...unconvincing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...

Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.

I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.

Mi don’t think AI or troll. They are probably foreigners.

It just reads like a self-published novel on Amazon Kindle. “Anna thought she was living the American Dream. Her husband was an executive. She was a SAHM to an adorable son with special needs. Then she found out her husband had a corporate mistress. Could Anna save her marriage? Does she want to?” And then half way in, Anna somehow reconnects with her childhood friend Stefan who is even richer than her STBX. Plus his wife and son conveniently died in a car accident two years ago.

OP here: I also thought when I found it that I could write a book about my husband. It's just amazing life experience that I have. I never thought of him being able to scheme like that, to live double life totally for 4 years! I don't know when exactly he met her, but she joined the firm 8 years ago, and I have firm evidence of the affair since 2016.

Anonymous wrote:Op it sounds like you have a college degree and skills so I’m not sure a MA will do that much for your income. I’d start looking at your networks.

I can also get a certificate (like a CPA but at another specialty field), and try to find a job quicker. I was being nice to my husband after learning about mistress. I am now the best cook, entertainer for his corporate friends, educator and my English is actually way better vs hers, so I try to appear the best spoked and "fit" for the artificial "CEO wife" role. My husband is so selfish and fake! He missed out on years of quality parenting with our son, being a pretty bad dad until pandemic started. And he doesn't even realize how much he had missed whoring around!

I lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks since I learned of her. My main areas of focus now are interviews with attorneys, working on my looks to go back to my "model like" appearance of years ago and becoming just drop dead gorgeous again, and getting a job in the office where I can meet people. I am very mentally torn after years of communicating primarily with our SN son.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...

Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.

I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.

Mi don’t think AI or troll. They are probably foreigners.

It just reads like a self-published novel on Amazon Kindle. “Anna thought she was living the American Dream. Her husband was an executive. She was a SAHM to an adorable son with special needs. Then she found out her husband had a corporate mistress. Could Anna save her marriage? Does she want to?” And then half way in, Anna somehow reconnects with her childhood friend Stefan who is even richer than her STBX. Plus his wife and son conveniently died in a car accident two years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have been wondering what country you were born in. Your omission of articles -- "the, an, a" -- stands out. It does, however, convince me that you are not a troll. If I were you I would not even think about leaving before my SN graduated from high school. I would try to save money. The marriage is dead, but not your son's future. I am not surprised that your DH prefers someone older. There is a certain kind of man who wants a woman who does not truly want/need him. They want women with equal or superior wealth, social standing, etc. They want to feel desired for themselves, not the material benefits they provide.

His mistress IS with him for material benefits. Would she sleep or travel with him, if he didn’t raise her up the corporate ladder? If he didn’t make her a shareholder, included in employee options plan ? There were many smart ladies joining his startup 10 years ago, and only one attractive lady made it all the way up. Of course, now she probably feels like a very successful business woman on her own right. My it’s my husband who “made” her.

And he did nothing for me, beside confining me at the house with the SN child abd buying couple joint properties (in which I invested as well when I worked).

Put at least one of those properties in trust for your son so he will always have a place to live.

It takes also my husband's will to put one of them on our son's name. Deeds are on my and husband's name. If I get 50% after divorce, my son would have a place to live anyway, I am his mother. But I did stash some money aside on a separate bank account. Do you think it's safer to put it in a trust? Or keep in cash? I don't want the little savings I stashed being considered marital property, while my husband is hiding assets abroad.

Op it sounds like you have a college degree and skills so I’m not sure a MA will do that much for your income. I’d start looking at your networks.

OP here. I don't have shares on my name in his company. Its a foreign company. I am interviewing lawyers in the US to see if I am entitled potentially to anything there. We are in at no-fault state. Again, mistress or husband don't know I know everything. I am very grateful to the friend who told me all of it, I feel more secure now and started developing a plan. I would rather prefer to know than being lied to even longer. Some of those who were hiding got consulting contracts with his company.

In terms of my employment opportunities: is doing a 2-year MA degree would raise my salary? I do have 10 years experience my my field (worked from age 22 until 32), but after 32 I did come short term consulting for 2 years (which didn't pay much and thus did't make much sense to continue), and then build a second business with my husband in the US that was primarily managed by me. The second business is times smaller in equity, but I made way more money there comparing if I was working full time. If we were to split this 2nd business in divorce, he would get a half and I would need to find a corporate position to maintain the same lifestyle as during marriage. My halved income from that business wouldn't be enough.

I would work to transition to an allied health field like speech therapy- think of some of the professionals who help your son and consider their professions.

Anonymous wrote:I think 'corporate' is appropriate in this context because the ties are not merely personal. Are you sure that she had 'the best' of him? Perhaps he regards the two of you as complementary: he gets things from you that she cannot offer and vice versa. It would be critical for me to understand his motivation for staying with me all these years. You said the marriage and sex were great until recently. Is it just duty or does he love you? I would absolutely go back to school on his dime; not doing so would be irresponsible. Please do not consider yourself 'totally' lost, professionally speaking. You will recover.

It’s good to point out hope and OP you are still young!

OP do what you can to protect yourself and your son financially. Don't rush to get a job especially if your son needs help. It sounds like your divorce would be a grey divorce. See a lawyer as others have suggested but doubtful your husband wants a divorce at this stage in life. He would also be paying alimony for sometime, and for your son. Honestly, this is a time to decide what you want. Meanwhile I would be extra nice to your husband, and wouldn't say a word to him. Sometimes good psychology is better than a confrontation.

However you need to try to get the low life out of your lives. Myself I would call her, and tell her if she continues to see DH, I will be paying a visit to talk to her husband and family. If she values her family and assets she'll stop. At this point either your husband will be angry, or scared he's about to lose everything. You'll find out from his reaction if he want to save the marriage. He may stop and never bring it up, happened to a friend of mine after she contacted the OW. If they continue to see each other then obviously get yourself in a good position to leave. Yes continue to stash money away regardless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have been wondering what country you were born in. Your omission of articles -- "the, an, a" -- stands out. It does, however, convince me that you are not a troll. If I were you I would not even think about leaving before my SN graduated from high school. I would try to save money. The marriage is dead, but not your son's future. I am not surprised that your DH prefers someone older. There is a certain kind of man who wants a woman who does not truly want/need him. They want women with equal or superior wealth, social standing, etc. They want to feel desired for themselves, not the material benefits they provide.

His mistress IS with him for material benefits. Would she sleep or travel with him, if he didn’t raise her up the corporate ladder? If he didn’t make her a shareholder, included in employee options plan ? There were many smart ladies joining his startup 10 years ago, and only one attractive lady made it all the way up. Of course, now she probably feels like a very successful business woman on her own right. My it’s my husband who “made” her.

And he did nothing for me, beside confining me at the house with the SN child abd buying couple joint properties (in which I invested as well when I worked).

Put at least one of those properties in trust for your son so he will always have a place to live.