It’s impossible for me to be in it because it’s mostly people from one or two $$ neighborhoods who attend the same church (the church that hosts our preschool), go to the same gym/barre classes, and hang out at the pool in their neighborhood. I am friendly with them and they are friendly back, but I can’t be part of that clique and that is ok. I have my own friends and the preschool is otherwise great.

Um. No? What a weird question.

I was not aware that the popular mom crowd was a thing

I purposely stay away from them.

I’m too poor to be in that crowd. I’ll take the awkward hot mess moms at every turn, they’re my people.

Anonymous wrote:Most of the “popular” moms try to succeed at this because at some level they failed at real life. Not like got pregnant at 16, never had a job failed, but somewhere along the way, they settled. Professionally, personally—at some point, they Settled or gave up or got pushed out or just flat-out failed.So now their kid’s school is something they can “succeed” at. People with real things to do don’t have time for that. I’m happy to be doing my own thing. I’m nice enough to them; they’re nice enough to me. Some are insecure but mostly harmless. Others are insecure but downright nasty. Either way, I have no interest in competing for a fake prize that some moms just made up so they have something to compete for.

You have given this way too much thought and invented quite the storyline

Yes, it is important to me to belong to a mom clique in my child’s class (or children). Mostly because my kids are still young so play dates are orchestrated by the parents. It’s also a way to make a community that is family oriented.

I was actually super nerdy growing up, with a small group of friends. I also learned not to GAF what anyone thinks of me as I am a female POC in white male dominated profession. I find the characterization by PPs of cliquey moms to be superficial and not very thoughtful.

I have 3 kids. I was/am definitely in the “clique” for their preschool classes. These have now turned into good group friendships with different levels of friendship with the other moms in the clique - some very close but some less so. They are a tremendous source of information and support.

I am not in the “clique” for my oldest’s kindergarten class. It seems to be populated by SAHMs and WOHMs but I’m not positive since I’m not in it. I definitely feel the difference from our preschool experience to our experience with her current class — I don’t have a clue what is going on beyond what the school send home, I don’t know any gossip, or know what the administrators are thinking about before they announce it. My child is also not part of a social group in her class, although we do host (and she is invited to) plenty of play dates (where I hear about the clique).

I’m not going crazy trying to break into this clique, but I do wish I had more connections with the other parents in her class.

I can count the sahms at the school on one hand so it has nothing to do with working or not here. It is all about involvment in the PTA and volunteering to become well known. Otherwise, there is not much of a queen bee or clique high school type of vibe at any of the schools. If someone was like that more people would find it odd and off putting in our area.

There are a bunch of parents of kids in my daughters grade who probably think they are the popular moms. At every school event they are extremely loud and draw attention to themselves. They make sure that everyone hears about all the AMAZING things they have been doing.

They don’t realize how little anyone else cares.

Yes, they have the best parties in gorgeous clothes at beautiful homes and take amazing vacations and are funny. Sorry not sorry!

Anonymous wrote:What is the “popular moms group?”

Didn’t even know that existed lol

Maybe they are a pop singing group that we've not heard of(?).

I don't think it works like that - you become friends with the moms (of your kids' friends) that you like and bond with.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t even know who those people are.

+ 1

Must not be me!

As a single dad, absolutely not. I dread showing up to birthday parties as the only guy with a bunch of blabbering busy bodies.

What is the “popular moms group?”

Didn’t even know that existed lol