Hate to be the one to mention this, but there is a good possibility that she is simply trying to avoid having sex with you.

Look on the bright side- you have sex in the shower! That’s awesome. Can you find other places to have sex? You wife still wants to have sex with you and that is a good thing. Read some threads about sexless marriages and that may help you feel better.

As a Mom who co-slept- try really hard not to take this personally. It is really hard for a Dad to comprehend the bond between mother and child and you coming in and demanding that he sleep elsewhere could be really stressful for her when she needs your support.

Try to look on the bright side- you have a wife who is loving and caring to your child and who also seems to love you and still be attracted to you.

You can still raise your feeling with her about how you miss sleeping with her, but I would be sensitive to her intense need to also care for her child and be close to him, too. Try not to make this a zero sum game. The less personally you take this the better. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I've seen this story before. Mommy puts the kid first, husband is secondary except to donate sperm for the next one. Resentment builds. She gets fat. You cheat. You may or may not divorce in about 8 years.

Ouch. This one hurts.

Uhmmmmmm this post is obviously a lie because no one has sustained a regular, active sex life that only takes place in the shower

13 months doesn’t seem too old to co-sleep. And we didn’t co-sleep at all. That said our son went from sleep crutch to sleep crutch until almost 2. He fell asleep while breastfeeding (and then we would transfer him to bed) for like the first 6 months. Then dad stayed up late into the night weaning him off of that by rocking him. Then we had to rock him to sleep until like 11 months. Then we had to sit in the room with him until like 22 months. And now finally we can put him in his crib turn off the lights and leave. I finally feel like I am a real person again.

Can you afford a night nurse who could gently sleep train? Or could you do that? Honestly I wish I had just done cio but I know i would have rejected that suggestion and suspect your wife would too.

Anonymous wrote:If she is on the attachment parent train you are screwed. My sister was all about this, as were two of her close friends, and they coslept until middle school when the kids finally got really upset. It was crazy town and now, 15 years later, all three couples are divorced and the moms are still over the top. Have a conversation but if she’s insistent, good luck.

Yep. OP’s DW has made her choice and the DH comes in 2nd. If they have another kid, he’ll be 3rd and the marriage will start to crumble.

Anonymous wrote:You need to slowly transition him back into his room. Two hours is great, then three, then longer. It will happen if you are consistent. You need to spend more time alone with him and not under your wife.

Also how about DAD take the time to research how to do this, find a plan his wife can live with, and execute this so that his wife can still sleep? I fell into cosleeping because I (wife) was the one dealing with night feedings and then night wake ups and eventually I felt like anything was better than sleep deprivation. I’d be happy to give it up as long as I can still sleep at night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely wouldn’t have another child with her until this is resolved. 2 kids will only magnify the problem.

I'm pretty confident that this isn't a problem. She's removed the means for a second child.

Last time I checked a woman can still get pregnant by having sex in the shower...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely wouldn’t have another child with her until this is resolved. 2 kids will only magnify the problem.

I'm pretty confident that this isn't a problem. She's removed the means for a second child.

It only takes one time.

There are a lot of strong options here and I couldn't read them all, but I find this a developmentally appropriate choice at 13 months. But since you aren't okay with it, talk to your wife about a compromise. I did part-time co-sleeping until about a year. But you could do it until 2 if that is something you can live with. Start him off in his crib, then if he wakes he can come into your bed. This is how we weaned our DC and the cosleeping decreased as she slept longer and got used to it. Then, you get some alone time with DW. I do think 1-2 hours together after DC is in bed sounds reasonable. My DH needs less sleep than me, and I get run down if I try to stay up too long with him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FFS, just talk to your wife and also stop hiding behind the fact that 'she wants to do everything about the kids' and that 'no matter what you do, your son won't fall back asleep with you'. Just try harder for longer so your wife can get a break if she wants to. Take some responsibility.

yeah, b/c the women here are so willing to discuss and find a compromise on how things should be done...FFS get your head out of your own a$$

Keep hiding behind your sexist ideas

Anonymous wrote:I definitely wouldn’t have another child with her until this is resolved. 2 kids will only magnify the problem.

I'm pretty confident that this isn't a problem. She's removed the means for a second child.