Anonymous
Post 05/16/2020 18:17     Subject: Re:Money woes...but not mine
OP- I’m not even sure why you asked. This is a no-brainer. There are many options for them such as unemployment, mortgage forbearance and driving for Instacart. I don’t understand how they even had the nerve to ask you.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2020 17:26     Subject: Re:Money woes...but not mine
Why do people keep saying the son is visiting there and needs to use guest food rules? Either it is his house too, as in he is part of the family, in which case family needs to be considerate of his food preferences. My husband hates spicy food and curry. I can either not make it or make it and something else for him / let him make something else. “Making” someone eat something is bananas in their own home. If my husband went to dinner as a guest but only was served curry, he would eat some plain rice, a splash of sauce, and eat something else when he got home. But that is as a guest. He is a family member.

If he truly is a guest and is treated as a guest and should be viewed as a guest then those are the family dynamics and OP owes them nothing.

If you can swing a grand or two, that is nice. Nothing else though
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2020 14:22     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:Troll.


Do you think the OP is a troll or the post above yours? The post above yours asked some good questions that might help to explain if this is a real situation or not.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2020 14:16     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
OP, if it’s only 2x a month, I doubt your XH has any fixed cost for your son. They should be glad he brings his own food. Maybe offer to pay a portion of the six days a month that he uses their utilities.

The new wife should also ask her kids’ father for an increase in CS and she would get a job.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2020 14:12     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Background: exDH and I divorced 8 years ago, I moved on with our DS, he's now a teenager. I always made way more money than him (this part is important). There is no child support (also important). Four years ago exDH married a woman with 2 kids from a previous relationship. She is not from this country, he brought her over on a K1 visa. She gave birth to their child almost right away. Never worked here, her English is very poor. They live very modestly, small house.

The way she treats my DS is a little weird. One minute she wants to be close to him, involved in his activities, another minute she hardly acknowledges him. She is offended he doesn't like her food and brings his own whenever he visits. He was always a picky eater. She called him spoiled multiple times. Her kids are DS age, there is no relationship there, they don't even say "hello" when he comes over.

I guess COVID has really hit them hard, they are all staying in that tiny house, DS doesn't visit them, obviously. Now exDH lost his job. He asked me for a money to cover his mortgage, food, etc. It sounds like he is being pressured by his new wife to reach out to me because "I am rich, I can afford to". He doesn't call it a loan, he actually said "can you give us some money?"

WWYD? I don't have a relationship with exDH other than an occasional conversation about DS, where he voices his wife's complaints


Why do you think his new wife pressured him to ask you for money? Why would she feel entitled to your money just because she thinks you are rich? You did not bring her over here.
.

Does she come from a country where exes would be considered part of an extended family and help each other? Some places have communities of large loosely related extended families where they tend to help each other out but not by asking for that large of an amount of money. It would be more of a sharing of resources like food and clothing.



Someone suggested a grocery gift card which would be more like the kind of help that people might give each other in a large extended family that includes distant relatives and a few non relatives. The only question would be if his wife might misinterpret the gift to mean that you are sending the card so she can buy different food for your son.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2020 14:02     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Background: exDH and I divorced 8 years ago, I moved on with our DS, he's now a teenager. I always made way more money than him (this part is important). There is no child support (also important). Four years ago exDH married a woman with 2 kids from a previous relationship. She is not from this country, he brought her over on a K1 visa. She gave birth to their child almost right away. Never worked here, her English is very poor. They live very modestly, small house.

The way she treats my DS is a little weird. One minute she wants to be close to him, involved in his activities, another minute she hardly acknowledges him. She is offended he doesn't like her food and brings his own whenever he visits. He was always a picky eater. She called him spoiled multiple times. Her kids are DS age, there is no relationship there, they don't even say "hello" when he comes over.

I guess COVID has really hit them hard, they are all staying in that tiny house, DS doesn't visit them, obviously. Now exDH lost his job. He asked me for a money to cover his mortgage, food, etc. It sounds like he is being pressured by his new wife to reach out to me because "I am rich, I can afford to". He doesn't call it a loan, he actually said "can you give us some money?"

WWYD? I don't have a relationship with exDH other than an occasional conversation about DS, where he voices his wife's complaints


Why do you think his new wife pressured him to ask you for money? Why would she feel entitled to your money just because she thinks you are rich? You did not bring her over here.
.

Does she come from a country where exes would be considered part of an extended family and help each other? Some places have communities of large loosely related extended families where they tend to help each other out but not by asking for that large of an amount of money. It would be more of a sharing of resources like food and clothing.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 22:44     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
Troll.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 22:38     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:Background: exDH and I divorced 8 years ago, I moved on with our DS, he's now a teenager. I always made way more money than him (this part is important). There is no child support (also important). Four years ago exDH married a woman with 2 kids from a previous relationship. She is not from this country, he brought her over on a K1 visa. She gave birth to their child almost right away. Never worked here, her English is very poor. They live very modestly, small house.

The way she treats my DS is a little weird. One minute she wants to be close to him, involved in his activities, another minute she hardly acknowledges him. She is offended he doesn't like her food and brings his own whenever he visits. He was always a picky eater. She called him spoiled multiple times. Her kids are DS age, there is no relationship there, they don't even say "hello" when he comes over.

I guess COVID has really hit them hard, they are all staying in that tiny house, DS doesn't visit them, obviously. Now exDH lost his job. He asked me for a money to cover his mortgage, food, etc. It sounds like he is being pressured by his new wife to reach out to me because "I am rich, I can afford to". He doesn't call it a loan, he actually said "can you give us some money?"

WWYD? I don't have a relationship with exDH other than an occasional conversation about DS, where he voices his wife's complaints


Why do you think his new wife pressured him to ask you for money? Why would she feel entitled to your money just because she thinks you are rich? You did not bring her over here.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 21:48     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:If the tables were turned and you were the Ex-DH and you could easily afford to assist your Ex-W as well as your child’s half siblings you’d get much different responses.


It's different for a man because they'd get a kick out of showing their ex-DW that her new husband is a loser who can't even provide for her and her children. A woman wouldn't get any pleasure out of that.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 21:47     Subject: Re:Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ex husband new family are overweight and dd is not allowed to eat their food.


Wow, you are nasty.


Are you overweight?

That's the problem. If OP doesn't want her dd or son to eat unhealthy food. She has the right to control her kid eating habits. I wish more parents did what op is doing.


If a child goes over a few days a month, child can eat the food. You making weight comments and saying you cannot eat the food is a pretty cruel thing to do to a child. If you don't want your child eating the food and being a part of Dad's life, then just say so. Terminate his rights and move on. Otherwise, in Dad's home it is Dad's way of doing things. Once you divorce you lose the right to dictate what goes on in the other parents home.


LOL are you even a parent? I cannot make my own children eat the food they don't like to eat. I cannot imagine a random woman being able to make a teenager eat something they don't like and don't want to eat.

She isn't dictating what goes on in the other parent's home. "You must eat the food you're given there" would be dictating.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 19:14     Subject: Re:Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:Refuses to file for unemployment ... would have been the end of the conversation for me.


This cannot be real.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 19:06     Subject: Re:Money woes...but not mine
I wouldn't.

he sounds like a loser.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 19:05     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
If the tables were turned and you were the Ex-DH and you could easily afford to assist your Ex-W as well as your child’s half siblings you’d get much different responses.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 18:12     Subject: Re:Money woes...but not mine
Refuses to file for unemployment ... would have been the end of the conversation for me.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2020 17:26     Subject: Money woes...but not mine
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I could afford to do so, I would pay two months mortgage and send the check to mortgage company myself. I would also give them a $200 gift card to grocery store and tell them both mortgage and gift card are gifts and there will be no more.


This is likely what I would do but one month.


The money is not an issue. Just ignore the request. They can go to social services for help. I cannot imagine this is even a real post.