I aborted at 20. I had 3 after 40. Obviously a strong preference at 40.

Anonymous wrote:Definitely 20 (and I had mine at 30/32/34). In your 20s you're poor and stupid. I'm so looking forward to my 50s. Traveling the world with DH and being young enough and wealthy enough to enjoy it. I was never a big partier though.

Hmm...

In my 20s, I had a reasonably well paying job for a single person and generally I wouldn't go with stupid. I was also not a big partier.

Things I did:

-Lived alone. Traveled alone. (Think both of these are pretty formative. Who are you in relation to no one else in your life? No parents, siblings, partners, boyfriends/girlfriends, spouse)
-Dated a bunch. (Did not sleep around, not that that wouldn't have been fine too. Just not my scene.)
-So much quality time with friends. It's also a great time of life because most everyone is on the same financial footing at that point. (Something I realize in middle age is not the case anymore and can be challenging.) Friendships that endure to this day and add so much to my life.
-Grad school. Really focused on setting myself up for the career I have today.

Definitely 20 (and I had mine at 30/32/34). In your 20s you're poor and stupid. I'm so looking forward to my 50s. Traveling the world with DH and being young enough and wealthy enough to enjoy it. I was never a big partier though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG! 20 for sure! I had my oldest at 23. My youngest at 33. I’m 53 and they are all out of the house. I have two grand babies that I adore. No way would I want little kids at this stage. I’m loving the freedom having grown kids brings. I love being a young, healthy, active grandmother. To each his own. But for me, younger was perfect.

Omg, can’t imagine being a granny at 53....just no! Now when reach 70’s maybe.

I know a woman who was a grandmother at 40. She had a kid when she was 18; her kid has a kid when the kid was 18. The woman is now 56, and a grandmother a few times over. She could be a great grandmother now for all I know (lost touch).

When I was in my 20s, I dated a guy a few years younger than me whose mom was 4 years older than my older sister. That was suuuuuper weird.

I was still in college at 20, so definitely 40.

I think I would have really liked to be a SAHM, and I think I could have been one at 20. I had my first at 28, and I was so wrapped up in my career that I had worked so hard for and was afraid of losing. At 20, my boyfriend was career military and stationed in San Diego. I think I could have lived on base there and stayed home with kids for a few years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG! 20 for sure! I had my oldest at 23. My youngest at 33. I’m 53 and they are all out of the house. I have two grand babies that I adore. No way would I want little kids at this stage. I’m loving the freedom having grown kids brings. I love being a young, healthy, active grandmother. To each his own. But for me, younger was perfect.

Omg, can’t imagine being a granny at 53....just no! Now when reach 70’s maybe.

I know a woman who was a grandmother at 40. She had a kid when she was 18; her kid has a kid when the kid was 18. The woman is now 56, and a grandmother a few times over. She could be a great grandmother now for all I know (lost touch).

My husband had one at 18. His youngest had one at 23 (his girlfriend insisted) so he's a grandfather in his 50's and also has young kids. Both have its benefits. Ideal to me is your late 20's/early 30's but that didn't happen for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG! 20 for sure! I had my oldest at 23. My youngest at 33. I’m 53 and they are all out of the house. I have two grand babies that I adore. No way would I want little kids at this stage. I’m loving the freedom having grown kids brings. I love being a young, healthy, active grandmother. To each his own. But for me, younger was perfect.

Omg, can’t imagine being a granny at 53....just no! Now when reach 70’s maybe.

I know a woman who was a grandmother at 40. She had a kid when she was 18; her kid has a kid when the kid was 18. The woman is now 56, and a grandmother a few times over. She could be a great grandmother now for all I know (lost touch).

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather not have kids than have one at either 20 or 40.

I honestly don’t understand baby-crazy women who go to extreme lengths to have a baby.

? Many women at 40 are able to have babies without going to extreme lengths. Life happens; it's not perfect. Some women don't find a good person to marry until they are closer to 40. I would never advise a woman to have a child without a stable partner. Too dam* hard.

In reality, 40 because when I was 20, I was broke and immature. But in a perfect world, 20, then I would still be relatively young when they go off to college and it would be easier on the body.

I had mine at 35 and 38. I could not imagine having them when I was younger because I don't think I had the maturity. I saw my sister struggle financially when she had kids younger (in her 20s). But of course now she's an empty nester at 53, while I will still have kids at home at that age. But, I wouldn't switch with her. Her life was miserable early on.

40. If I have a choice between 30-35.

If you have a baby at 40, they'll graduate HS when you're 58 and college when you're 62. That seems pretty doable to me.

Not too many 20 year olds are ready to raise a child.

...20! I'm 46 with an 18 year old.

40.

I had mine at 32 and 35. I have much more seniority and flexibility in my career the older I've gotten. It's been great to establish my career and then have kids especially as they've gotten older. I"ve found it's more important to have flex as they've started school vs. when we had a nanny in the early days.

I’d rather not have kids than have one at either 20 or 40.

I honestly don’t understand baby-crazy women who go to extreme lengths to have a baby.