Anonymous wrote:It seems like a lot of rich women have 4 just because they can and to keep up with the Joneses. Why not pop out another one and let the nanny take care of it?

Why not have self-control and take in a foster kid who already exists instead? Save the environment.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with 8 kids in my family (pre birth control). Back then, the Catholic Church told women if the husband wanted sex, it was their duty to have it. They were told "God will provide". If you haven't grown up in a big family you have no idea how hard it is. You are on your own. We were basic middle class...dad made "too much" for college loans but he would not pay even one dime for us to go to college. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

For those here bragging about having so many kids post birth control ...you are out of your minds. and, you are killing the environment having so many people.

It is unfair to generalize based on your situation. I see that a lot on big family threads. Came from a family with two kids and I have my share of complaints, too. You realize lots of 2 kid families didn’t get college paid for either?
I don’t see them bragging, so much as answering questions and sometimes defending themselves (like do you live on a farm? Do you know how to use birth control? Cmon).

It seems like a lot of rich women have 4 just because they can and to keep up with the Joneses. Why not pop out another one and let the nanny take care of it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with 8 kids in my family (pre birth control). Back then, the Catholic Church told women if the husband wanted sex, it was their duty to have it. They were told "God will provide". If you haven't grown up in a big family you have no idea how hard it is. You are on your own. We were basic middle class...dad made "too much" for college loans but he would not pay even one dime for us to go to college. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

For those here bragging about having so many kids post birth control ...you are out of your minds. and, you are killing the environment having so many people.

In fairness, you are painting with a broad brush and being too harsh. My DH grew up in the exact same scenario (and for the same reasons)- 7 kids. His parents were middle class but did help with college. There were many many negatives- yes- but also many positives. For him, the negatives outweighed the positives (we have 3..and none of his siblings have more than 3 kids either). But- saying “you wouldn’t wish it on anyone” is a bit much.

Just trying to be a bit more moderate here- and I despise my ILs (and they despise me as well) but really- there are issues in every family. DH has an overall happier childhood that I did in my normal sized family.

People should ask the kids of big families ...not the braggy parents. The parents have no idea what it's like for the kids having to raise themselves. And, since there is ample birth control these days ... why would women want to go for this?

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with 8 kids in my family (pre birth control). Back then, the Catholic Church told women if the husband wanted sex, it was their duty to have it. They were told "God will provide". If you haven't grown up in a big family you have no idea how hard it is. You are on your own. We were basic middle class...dad made "too much" for college loans but he would not pay even one dime for us to go to college. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

For those here bragging about having so many kids post birth control ...you are out of your minds. and, you are killing the environment having so many people.

In fairness, you are painting with a broad brush and being too harsh. My DH grew up in the exact same scenario (and for the same reasons)- 7 kids. His parents were middle class but did help with college. There were many many negatives- yes- but also many positives. For him, the negatives outweighed the positives (we have 3..and none of his siblings have more than 3 kids either). But- saying “you wouldn’t wish it on anyone” is a bit much.

Just trying to be a bit more moderate here- and I despise my ILs (and they despise me as well) but really- there are issues in every family. DH has an overall happier childhood that I did in my normal sized family.

Anonymous wrote:We have five children. Three out of college. Two in college. One high school senior. I’m actually surprised by the mean-spirited posts. My adult children are successful, educated, contributing members of society. If anything, our country needs more children like mine. We are not wealthy be DC standards. Our HHI is about $200,000 a year. Our kids went to college on scholarships. We could not afford Ivy. They went to solid state schools. Another thing to consider - You have no idea how someone’s family was created. I have a close friend with eight children. She had three biological children and adopted five siblings through foster to adopt. They all look like biological siblings. I’m sure some of you would judge this beautiful family harshly.

Hate to pick on a fellow large family person here...but 5 =/= 3 + 2 + 1.... this is what happens to your brain on lots of kids

I grew up with 8 kids in my family (pre birth control). Back then, the Catholic Church told women if the husband wanted sex, it was their duty to have it. They were told "God will provide". If you haven't grown up in a big family you have no idea how hard it is. You are on your own. We were basic middle class...dad made "too much" for college loans but he would not pay even one dime for us to go to college. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

For those here bragging about having so many kids post birth control ...you are out of your minds. and, you are killing the environment having so many people.

We have 4 kids and we are definitely one of the largest families in our friend group. The average is 3, though. Even when I'm out and about running errands, it seems like 3 kids is the new 2.

We're a lesbian couple, though, so there are a few families in our friend group who has 5 or 6 kids from adoption. We're the only family that has more than 3 kids where none are adopted.

Anonymous wrote:I live in North Arlington. I know of four families in our elementary school district who have 5-6 kids each. As far as I can tell (I only know 2 of the families well), they aren't blended families or families that have adopted a bunch of kids. Nor are they particularly religious. They just seem like people that liked kids, maybe got a little careless with birth control, and have the means (with careful budgeting) to support them. The kids are significantly more independent and free-ranging than the average neighborhood kid.

which school?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are horrible news stories OP. How is your first thought about the Brady Bunch? You know it’s uncommon so why ask?

I’m so heartbroken for that father who lost his wife and six children. I can’t even imagine.

Except its not so uncommon anymore? Every week I see an article on IVF multiples or somehow a family of 5+ got into some kind of trouble or a celebrity with the same number - Eddie Murphy has 9 and Kevin Costner has 7.

I thought we were going away from huge families with the advent of birth control but I guess not.

Eddie Murphy is a bad example, he had his 'bunch' with 5 different women.

I live in North Arlington. I know of four families in our elementary school district who have 5-6 kids each. As far as I can tell (I only know 2 of the families well), they aren't blended families or families that have adopted a bunch of kids. Nor are they particularly religious. They just seem like people that liked kids, maybe got a little careless with birth control, and have the means (with careful budgeting) to support them. The kids are significantly more independent and free-ranging than the average neighborhood kid.

We have five children. Three out of college. Two in college. One high school senior. I’m actually surprised by the mean-spirited posts. My adult children are successful, educated, contributing members of society. If anything, our country needs more children like mine. We are not wealthy be DC standards. Our HHI is about $200,000 a year. Our kids went to college on scholarships. We could not afford Ivy. They went to solid state schools. Another thing to consider - You have no idea how someone’s family was created. I have a close friend with eight children. She had three biological children and adopted five siblings through foster to adopt. They all look like biological siblings. I’m sure some of you would judge this beautiful family harshly.

Anonymous wrote:I have five children. I’m very sad to hear about the mom and her children passing away from the fire in their home. People that are offended by the size of my family are obviously unfulfilled in their own family life and lashing out.

+100

The two families of my friends' kids that I admire the most and think the parents do the best job, have many kids---one family 4, the other 5. They are more involved than many families I know with less kids.

I grew up in a family of 3 and thought I would have a big family, but realized my personality and my husband's do not handle a lot of chaos well. Two for us felt right. But, I love when my kids go over to their friends' homes because there is something special about many large families. The kids also seem to be much more independent at an earlier age.

I think have less kids the environment is only journalists in cities like DC. No one else is listening to that. Sorry journalist, just because you wrote doesn’t mean people will do it.

Anonymous wrote:I do personally know 4 families with 6 kids. All of them I met here - 2 are still here and 2 have moved. One is Greek -cultural thing. 2 are adoptive/foster families with a couple bio and a few adopted children. The last is actually quite religious and went deep into the bible to name one of their girls "Scarlett" - they have moved closer to their families.

Weird. I married into a Greek family and out of all of the Greek communities I’ve met over the years across the US and in Greece, the highest # of kids for anyone in the last two generations was 3 kids. Almost all had 2.

Going back to the early 20th century we know families with lots of kids. 4-6.