Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 11:18     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:Why care at all what others say, unless you believe them to be true. I see no lactivist bashing...but a lot of accusation against women who BF. What is this? FOMO?


Other than one post that did take a swipe at extended breastfeeding please point out a post that criticized breastfeeding. There is virtually no criticism of breastfeeding itself here other than that one post.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 11:09     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Why care at all what others say, unless you believe them to be true. I see no lactivist bashing...but a lot of accusation against women who BF. What is this? FOMO?
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 11:07     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
I see these mean girls come out every time there is a post regarding:

1) To breastfeed or not,
2) To circumcise or not,
3) To red-Shirt or not.

And you know what, I bottle-fed, circumcised and red-shirted my kid - I have logical reasons for each decision, and live my life without caring about DCUM's opinion - and I'm fairly liberal, just not progressive.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 11:06     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Formula is best. Vaccines cause autism. Got it.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 11:04     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:What is amazing about this thread is nearly all the lactivists posting are basically proving OPs point.

(And since they will assume I am pushing formula or whatever, I nursed my kids 2-3 years each, but I agree that lactivists are mostly grown-up mean girls)


All women who breastfeed are not lativists. Most of them don't care what you feed your own kids. Only the do-gooders want to educate others.

I suspect women are forced into being lativists at work because pumping is not supported by corporations. Also public nursing (even under a blanket) is often frowned upon.

I suspect it is the granola WOHMs who become lativists. I am a SAHM and I did not have to defend my choice to breastfeed. Infact my DH respected and supported me 100% at home. Also the benefit of reducing the rate of breast cancer in moms who breastfeed is immense. I want the benefit for myself and my own. Why do I have to worry about other random people.

Most are reacting when bf moms claim that they don't care what others feed their kids. Can you please decide what offends you more? Lativists or bf moms who do not give a damn what you do to your kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 11:00     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"breast is best" is the worst thing to ever happen to new moms.


+1


Only to those who did not breastfeed. It was the best thing for me and my child. However, there were many people who made me feel like a freak, isolated me and did not give me the support I needed to make me successful.

Thankfully, DH and my mom were fully on board and we also had a private lactation consultant to helped us through our issues.

What is the agenda here to bash breastfeeding?.


Im confused as top why so many posters are confusing bashing lactivists with bashing breastfeeding. One poster on page 4 made a crack about breastfeeding 3-4 year olds. That's the only post that says something negative about breastfeeding itself.

There is a massive difference between criticism of an act and criticism of fanatic proponents of that act. You can be totally 100% a-ok with the act and still hate the fanatic proponents!

I don't hate essential oils but I hate mlm sellers. I love the environment but don't like the people who shame people every time they use a straw. It's two different things.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:55     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"breast is best" is the worst thing to ever happen to new moms.


+1


Only to those who did not breastfeed. It was the best thing for me and my child. However, there were many people who made me feel like a freak, isolated me and did not give me the support I needed to make me successful.

Thankfully, DH and my mom were fully on board and we also had a private lactation consultant to helped us through our issues.

What is the agenda here to bash breastfeeding?.


NP, but this board’s main agenda is to bash breastfeeding. I’ve never seen such an anti-BF bunch IRL. Save your sanity and just don’t bother, because in DCUMland, formula is best, and saying anything else means you’re a mean girl lactivist.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:55     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to stop with the "formula is 100% just as good as breast milk" stuff. It's not.

Have you ever heard of a mom anywhere in the world with a bottle of breastmilk in front of her who says, "I'm not going to give that to my baby, I'm going to go make some formula instead." ??

Have you ever heard of a mom anywhere in the world with two bottles in front of her, breastmilk and formula, and says, "I'll choose the formula today. Why not. The baby can have some variety. After all, formula is just as good as breastmilk."

Have you ever heard of a NICU or hospital anywhere in the world with a bottle of breastmilk from the baby's mom and decides not to give it because, "well the baby can just get some variety and formula is 100% just as good"???

Would any mom or medical professional ever reject the mom's breastmilk (baring some medical contraindications, obviously) in favor of formula?

Would any hospital anywhere not do whatever they knew how to do (which admittedly varies wildly) to help the mom produce milk for a new baby or especially a baby in the NICU who needs all the help they can get?

No, of course not. That's because formula is NOT as good as breastmilk. End of story.

I don't know what you're all arguing about. What are all the insults for? There's no need to make anyone feel bad for their choices. There are plenty of very "valid" reasons why breastfeeding doesn't work for a woman or a family - if she's sick, or doesn't produce enough, or is taking medications, has health issues, etc etc.

But please, let's just stop with the "formula is just as good", because it's NOT. So the PP earlier on the thread who said something like "formula isn't the best thing for the baby but if it works for their family better then I don't care" is right. Sorry if you don't like hearing it, but it's true. Let's just accept facts and move on. You can still be an amazing mom. And maybe you could even be a better mom overall than someone who breastfeeds. Especially if breastfeeding is difficult. But the best food for a baby, especially a new baby, is the mom's breastmilk.


You are a moron. Go read the actual science on breastfeeding (though I suspect you could not understand any of it) and then come back.

- Extended BFer


Actually, I'm a scientist. If you were also a scientist then you'd understand that "science" is still figuring out exactly what is even IN breastmilk, and why it's there. Feel free to read the studies, and look at the publication dates, if you can figure it out.


If you are, you are a deeply sad commentary on the state of science these days. Pathetic.


NP, and the problem--which absolutely is a problem with many scientists--is that formula vs. breast milk doesn't occur in a vacuum. It's moot if breast milk is slightly better for some babies than others if that comes along with a host of negative outcomes for the family. From a policy perspective, breast milk isn't THAT much better than formula for it to be pushed as hard as it is, especially not in a country like this one, in which there is no lengthy paid maternity leave for all women and very little support for postpartum women in general. My guess is that there's too much variability in its actual benefits to know from a pure scientific perspective, but from what we do know, and in combination with how little support women receive, insisting that "breast is best" probably does more damage than good.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:54     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
In the big scheme of things... breastfeeding is such a small thing.

It is far worse for people who can't have kids, have kids with special needs, have kids with life threatening diseases or kids who pass away etc. Why are we discussing this?


Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:49     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"breast is best" is the worst thing to ever happen to new moms.


+1


Only to those who did not breastfeed. It was the best thing for me and my child. However, there were many people who made me feel like a freak, isolated me and did not give me the support I needed to make me successful.

Thankfully, DH and my mom were fully on board and we also had a private lactation consultant to helped us through our issues.

What is the agenda here to bash breastfeeding?.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:31     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
There are always two sides to the How You Feed Your Baby Mean Girl story. There are some lactivists who are everything described here - self-righteous and tone-deaf, accusatory and condescending, assuming that women who are not breastfeeding are doing so because they are lazy or stupid. There are also women who say horrible things about women who breastfeed, to their faces - e.g., that they are selfish and care more about some hippie-dippy notion than they do about their baby's health and I also had a woman suggest that it was sexually inappropriate to enjoy breastfeeding at all. There are plenty of women who are in between these extremes.

The bottom line is that it would be nice if women were offered more support, in general, for keeping their children fed and happy. That is far from universal on either side of the How You Feed Your Baby Conversation.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:15     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
What is amazing about this thread is nearly all the lactivists posting are basically proving OPs point.

(And since they will assume I am pushing formula or whatever, I nursed my kids 2-3 years each, but I agree that lactivists are mostly grown-up mean girls)
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:08     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Formula is convenient. May not be the best for a kid but it is convenient for the mom. I don't know about activism because as a mom who EBF, I don't give a damn if other moms don't bf their kids. My kid gets the best I can give and that what matters, not what other kids are being fed. There is enough literature available about benefits of BF, and I do not need to educate anyone.

Mean girls are selfish. To BF is opposite of being selfish. So your assertion does not make sense.

Should corporations have accomodations for working moms to pump at work or at work daycare etc. Yes. Absolutely.


Way to prove a point.


Seriously. To be so un-self-aware.


Yes, you are. This woman is not pushing anything on you. She made different choices and is totally down with you making your own.


it isn't about her choices it's the way she communicates her choices.

google the difference between being right and self righteous. It's communication 101 if you go to college or have a job.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:07     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to stop with the "formula is 100% just as good as breast milk" stuff. It's not.

Have you ever heard of a mom anywhere in the world with a bottle of breastmilk in front of her who says, "I'm not going to give that to my baby, I'm going to go make some formula instead." ??

Have you ever heard of a mom anywhere in the world with two bottles in front of her, breastmilk and formula, and says, "I'll choose the formula today. Why not. The baby can have some variety. After all, formula is just as good as breastmilk."

Have you ever heard of a NICU or hospital anywhere in the world with a bottle of breastmilk from the baby's mom and decides not to give it because, "well the baby can just get some variety and formula is 100% just as good"???

Would any mom or medical professional ever reject the mom's breastmilk (baring some medical contraindications, obviously) in favor of formula?

Would any hospital anywhere not do whatever they knew how to do (which admittedly varies wildly) to help the mom produce milk for a new baby or especially a baby in the NICU who needs all the help they can get?

No, of course not. That's because formula is NOT as good as breastmilk. End of story.

I don't know what you're all arguing about. What are all the insults for? There's no need to make anyone feel bad for their choices. There are plenty of very "valid" reasons why breastfeeding doesn't work for a woman or a family - if she's sick, or doesn't produce enough, or is taking medications, has health issues, etc etc.

But please, let's just stop with the "formula is just as good", because it's NOT. So the PP earlier on the thread who said something like "formula isn't the best thing for the baby but if it works for their family better then I don't care" is right. Sorry if you don't like hearing it, but it's true. Let's just accept facts and move on. You can still be an amazing mom. And maybe you could even be a better mom overall than someone who breastfeeds. Especially if breastfeeding is difficult. But the best food for a baby, especially a new baby, is the mom's breastmilk.


You are a moron. Go read the actual science on breastfeeding (though I suspect you could not understand any of it) and then come back.

- Extended BFer


Actually, I'm a scientist. If you were also a scientist then you'd understand that "science" is still figuring out exactly what is even IN breastmilk, and why it's there. Feel free to read the studies, and look at the publication dates, if you can figure it out.


If you are, you are a deeply sad commentary on the state of science these days. Pathetic.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:03     Subject: Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.
Projection is a hell of a drug.