Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$85K is peanuts!

Not with your housing and car paid for!

Depends on the housing and car.

I had a similar job for a few years after college for a wealthy family in Connecticut. The pay was ok, but the benefits made it amazing - room and board; car, gas, insurance; they bought me vacation clothes/accessories - skis, surfboard, diving gear; I traveled with them but had evenings and one or two days to myself each trip; they paid for me to go home and visit my parents once a year - they basically covered any and all living expenses. So I banked almost every cent of every paycheck. After bonuses I left with more than $200,000 in savings. That paid for my wedding, a huge down payment on my first house, and started my retirement account.

This job description is a lot, but you go in knowing what to expect. I'd do it again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$85K is peanuts!

Not with your housing and car paid for!

Depends on the housing and car.

Anonymous wrote:$85K is peanuts!

Not with your housing and car paid for!

Anonymous wrote:She is single out of choice. Still there must have been a biological father in the picture? Or was it sperm donation? I think it could be that the kids came through surrogacy? I hope she gets the person that she needs because she wants good things for her kids.

She wants someone to do all the things she would do if she weren’t busy running a company. Unfortunately for her, that’s just not a realistic thing to hire out for.

She is single out of choice. Still there must have been a biological father in the picture? Or was it sperm donation? I think it could be that the kids came through surrogacy? I hope she gets the person that she needs because she wants good things for her kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post has made me realize why my DH is ever appreciative of me being a SAHM, even now when the kids are in high school. He cannot stomach the college application process and everything else that is going on with teens.
Men know the value that educated SAHMs bring to their lives and the mental burden they take away from their spouses. Only women are stupidly confused about this.

LOL have you ever read any divorce thread on any board

Men have amnesia about how “appreciative” they ever were

Yes. That's why keep working if you have married such a man, or have a pre-nup. This is absolutely a given. Ladies, protect yourself.

You never know what you have until you’re there.

Yeah, well, RIP to you, but I am different!

Anonymous wrote:$85K is peanuts!

Especially in Silicon Valley.

$85K is peanuts!

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the problem. She wants a lot, but she’s willing to pay a lot. The kids are 10 so they’re in school all day - meaning there’s built in time for errands, cooking, vacation planning etc. There’s even a back up au pair for the times when the kids conflict with each other.

This is more like a glimpse into how the super rich live than anything else.

This lady basically wants to come home to a nice dinner and have a quick conversation where the nanny talks about the benefits of soccer vs karate next season and mom gives an okay to one or the other. All soccer clothes, cleats, shin guards , would be taken care if by the nanny - as would registration and transportation. That’s the kind of support this lady is looking for.

She’s realistic about the amount of time it takes AND what she needs to pay for that kind of help. I honestly don’t understand the controversy.

Not really, though, given the asks.

I don’t see the problem. She wants a lot, but she’s willing to pay a lot. The kids are 10 so they’re in school all day - meaning there’s built in time for errands, cooking, vacation planning etc. There’s even a back up au pair for the times when the kids conflict with each other.

This is more like a glimpse into how the super rich live than anything else.

This lady basically wants to come home to a nice dinner and have a quick conversation where the nanny talks about the benefits of soccer vs karate next season and mom gives an okay to one or the other. All soccer clothes, cleats, shin guards , would be taken care if by the nanny - as would registration and transportation. That’s the kind of support this lady is looking for.

She’s realistic about the amount of time it takes AND what she needs to pay for that kind of help. I honestly don’t understand the controversy.

So being in CA there are probably lots of athletic college grads that do not want to be engineers, love sports and would do this. I have a friend who in her younger years would have loved this. She is looking for a sporty planner type not really a nanny.

My friends and I used to joke that we should all chip in and hire a personal assistant to do the camp planning. It really was a complete PITA. We all did not have au pairs and nannies so the logistics of needing to cover all the weeks, start and end times, location proximity to work commute and how the camp handled inclement weather was all a factor along with the even more complicated situation of kids wanting to go to camp with their friends and all liking different activities. We had spreadsheets, email threads pages and pages deep, multiple calls to camp seeing if enough spots were open to accommodate the friend groups, balancing this with siblings who had another set of friends and camp wishes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one off-putting aspect is the “all-in-one” bit. Super-athletic, which implies young, but also the knowledge to meal plan with some extreme restrictions, which is a skill that takes some life experience to develop, and travel planning around the globe, which again is a life skill that few people have during the time they’re young enough to be advanced skiers and “river swimmers”. And the person should have no further ambition for themself than to be someone’s nanny for a few years, and are presumably unencumbered by a family if their own. The combination of everything is what’s ridiculous.

Again, I’m the nanny who said btdt. Thanks for the reality check. I’m so glad my career is so highly valued.

We all have different measures of success. I’m very picky about my nf, and they are my family while I’m with them. This is my career, my passion, my calling, and I’m thrilled I get to do it. I don’t need ambition to be more, I AM more than you seem to realize. Luckily enough, my nf have always recognized that.

As someone who relies heavily on her wonderful nanny, who is immensely talented, intelligent, and loving, I want to say to you and also to 12:12 - thank you for all you do! PP is 100% wrong in their characterization of nannies and "ambition" (not surprising, given how screwed up most of DCUMlandia is). My child, DH, and I all benefit from all the many years of experience my nanny has had in her work with different families in her CAREER, which is important, meaningful, and (I hope) also mostly enjoyable. And there will always be a need for good nannies. It's a smarter career path than plenty of others out there.

My cousin, who is qualified for this job in every way and loves kids, had a full hysterectomy at 30. There are many reasons someone might have a SAHM temperament but be unable to actually do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a male single parent CEO had posted this, he would be universally applauded.

I think male CEO would have stopped after the nanny. He would probably thrown in some tutors and therapists and called it a day.

She wants a mom because she knows that a mom is missing in the kids lives. The male CEO would not have thought this. This burden and realization is unique to women. Hence the mommy wars.

Truth right there.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one off-putting aspect is the “all-in-one” bit. Super-athletic, which implies young, but also the knowledge to meal plan with some extreme restrictions, which is a skill that takes some life experience to develop, and travel planning around the globe, which again is a life skill that few people have during the time they’re young enough to be advanced skiers and “river swimmers”. And the person should have no further ambition for themself than to be someone’s nanny for a few years, and are presumably unencumbered by a family if their own. The combination of everything is what’s ridiculous.

This is why this model works when the care giver is a parent. What this person is trying to do is outsource being a parent. Even with all of the outsourcing she has done throughput with her kids, in the end, the mental and emotional needs of the children has grown not lessened with their age. She wants a rich and educated SAHM of DCUM.

This. And it's very hard to find this -- people who have the smarts and the drive to be qualified usually have their own career ambitions. Let's face it, being a nanny, even a supernanny, doesn't exactly shine on the resume. Why would anyone devote years of their lives to this? That's why being a SAHM parent is a thankless job. Only a parent or other close family care this much about kids' nutrition, whether they are doing well in homework, whether they are experiencing adequate social-emotional growth, whether their camps and extracurriculars are tailored to their educational and social needs....and all the other issues parents think about. Hard to hire a parent.

The one time such a qualified person will give up their own career ambitions is when it is for their own children.

Agree with all of this.