Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 16:21     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP: I don't make my kids do chores!
Also OP: *lists all the chores kids do*


OP Follow Up: those are not chores!!


From the OED:

chore noun
BrE /t???(r)/ ; NAmE /t???r/

?a task that you do regularly
doing the household/domestic chores
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 16:08     Subject: Re:I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Haven't you all had roommates over the years that were worthless regarding the work, chores, activities...whatever you want to call it.....required to maintain a reasonable level of order in a home?

I am talking about basic comm sense. I have lived with some folks who could not clean a bathroom or kitchen or any room really, some could not do laundry, some could not clear a walkway or car of snow effectively, and don't get me started on the fuse box or mowing a little patch of grass.

Just have your kids be able to effectively handle some simple basic tasks for their sake and everyone else they have to live with.


Plenty of us have had spouses like this...


+1 Yup. But I will stress the bolded above. Have had. Past tense. No longer married because they made maintaining a home fall primarily on someone that was raised to do so. They never learned how or valued doing so if they did. And everyone can’t afford a maid and to outsource. Maybe one person (man or woman) can carry the load to do it all before kids but it all goes to shit once those kids start leaving a mess and it’s only one person doing all the work.


This is why I am probably more strict with my sons than my daughter about chores. I want to make sure my DILs sees them doing their fair share of household chores that we all know tends to fall on the female species.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 15:50     Subject: Re:I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t do chores growing up. Like, at all. We had a maid who came every day so I didn’t even make my bed. I don’t recall ever doing anything with the dishwasher. We had gardeners so I didn’t have to worry about anything outside. I did take care of feeding the dog but I liked the dog. I cooked and baked but only when I wanted to. I am now a fully successful adult with a very clean and organized house who cooks a lot although I work out of the house full time. I do make my kids put their dirty clothes in their hamper and pick up their toys and stuff and they generally make their beds every morning during the school week but that’s about it for now. I agree with you that this is not the most popular approach but honestly I’m not worried that they won’t be able to figure out how to do things on their own when the time comes. I don’t think one needs over a decade of laundry and other household chores to learn how to do them. I mean, they aren’t hard.


This has been my experience as well.

Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 14:58     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP: I don't make my kids do chores!
Also OP: *lists all the chores kids do*


OP Follow Up: those are not chores!!


Yes, they are.


it sounds like the original poster has this vision of how chores have to be this list of tasks done every week and then checked off the list and instead the kids help out regularly as a job needs to be dy. It's still a chore
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 13:15     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:Most of the post describes the chores your kids do. Doesn't really fit with your title. Chores are just another word for the work that needs to be done to clean up after the people in the house and to maintain a clean, reasonably tidy home.

This. Op lied.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 13:12     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
My parents never made me do chores. In terms of knowing how to do things in adulthood, I don't think it was a big deal. I love cooking now and am very good at it, and cleaning is not a hard thing to learn. I never ever did laundry at home, but then I got to college and needed to do my own laundry, so I did it. It doesn't take practice to work a washing machine.

HOWEVER, I do think I have a lingering sense of general imcompetence because my parents never made me feel like an integral part of the home running. I always have a feeling like I'll somehow be in the way if I try to help others. I wonder if that would've been different if my parents had given me chores growing up. My mom didn't have a lot of time for the house and just wanted to get things done fast, and children "helping" was a bother.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 12:56     Subject: Re:I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t do chores growing up. Like, at all. We had a maid who came every day so I didn’t even make my bed. I don’t recall ever doing anything with the dishwasher. We had gardeners so I didn’t have to worry about anything outside. I did take care of feeding the dog but I liked the dog. I cooked and baked but only when I wanted to. I am now a fully successful adult with a very clean and organized house who cooks a lot although I work out of the house full time. I do make my kids put their dirty clothes in their hamper and pick up their toys and stuff and they generally make their beds every morning during the school week but that’s about it for now. I agree with you that this is not the most popular approach but honestly I’m not worried that they won’t be able to figure out how to do things on their own when the time comes. I don’t think one needs over a decade of laundry and other household chores to learn how to do them. I mean, they aren’t hard.


That is great but for every story like that there is one a student that goes off to college and can not do laundry. At all No clue.

That was my nephew. No need for that. Just have the kid do laundry and other basic chore before you send him off do he not so helpless.


Some colleges have laundry service.


You completely missed the point of PP.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 12:50     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:My favorites are the moms who make a big, loud production out of showing how their kids do chores. Nothing screams insecure, "look at what a good mom I am!" more during a get-together. Often it is done just for show, and it shows.


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 11:40     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Sounds like your kids have chores to me.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 11:25     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
My favorites are the moms who make a big, loud production out of showing how their kids do chores. Nothing screams insecure, "look at what a good mom I am!" more during a get-together. Often it is done just for show, and it shows.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 10:45     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote: OP, your kids do chores. Mine do too!

It's a good thing. However, I don't drag my kids away from family fun to handwash dishes. In our house, we all have daily tasks (like make bed, laundry if old enough, empty/fill dishwasher) and we have times when we all divvy up tasks like vaccuming and bathroom cleaning. So for us, the whole family takes part in chores that help our household run smoothly.

This is regardless of gender-my boys do laundry too and my girls do yardwork too.

My feeling is, I want the kids to learn the tasks needed to manage a home, so when they have one, it's well managed.


There’s a huge difference between doing chores (to help, to contribute, to learn, to build a work ethic) and being continually interrupted during family gatherings to go do chores.

With that said, my family splits chores (hosts and guests alike) by age/temperament. Whoever feeds infants/toddlers during the meal will bus and wipe the table. Preteens/teens that like little kids (and volunteer!) clean infants/toddlers, redress and either change diapers or hand them over to parents for diaper change. Anyone who cooked can relax, all others wash, rinse, dry and put away dishes. We go from meal to clean kitchen, dining room and kids in under 20 minutes. None of us would ever think of filling up a dishwasher because it wouldn’t all fit, nor would we put one or two kids in charge of doing all the dishes!
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 06:04     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
OP, your kids do chores. Mine do too!

It's a good thing. However, I don't drag my kids away from family fun to handwash dishes. In our house, we all have daily tasks (like make bed, laundry if old enough, empty/fill dishwasher) and we have times when we all divvy up tasks like vaccuming and bathroom cleaning. So for us, the whole family takes part in chores that help our household run smoothly.

This is regardless of gender-my boys do laundry too and my girls do yardwork too.

My feeling is, I want the kids to learn the tasks needed to manage a home, so when they have one, it's well managed.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 02:16     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
I do think people get really braggy about all the chores they make their kids do. It can be obnoxious.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 01:21     Subject: Re:I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Haven't you all had roommates over the years that were worthless regarding the work, chores, activities...whatever you want to call it.....required to maintain a reasonable level of order in a home?

I am talking about basic comm sense. I have lived with some folks who could not clean a bathroom or kitchen or any room really, some could not do laundry, some could not clear a walkway or car of snow effectively, and don't get me started on the fuse box or mowing a little patch of grass.

Just have your kids be able to effectively handle some simple basic tasks for their sake and everyone else they have to live with.


Plenty of us have had spouses like this...


+1 Yup. But I will stress the bolded above. Have had. Past tense. No longer married because they made maintaining a home fall primarily on someone that was raised to do so. They never learned how or valued doing so if they did. And everyone can’t afford a maid and to outsource. Maybe one person (man or woman) can carry the load to do it all before kids but it all goes to shit once those kids start leaving a mess and it’s only one person doing all the work.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2020 01:00     Subject: I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP: I don't make my kids do chores!
Also OP: *lists all the chores kids do*


OP Follow Up: those are not chores!!


Yes, they are.