Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:35     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:I guess your DH didn't raise him right.


This. He didn’t get this way all by himself.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:28     Subject: Re:26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As step-mom, it’s not your place to say anything, especially if you never provided him parental care as a child. MYOB.


B.S. If someone came up to her DH in a store and intentionally hit him with a cart, should she stand off to the side and say nothing? If someone hurts someone I love, I got their back. Watching this selfish guy treat his father, sister and grandparents with disdain is hurtful.


What some of you people don't seem to get is that NOT ALL ADULTS BUY OTHER GROWN-ASS ADULTS PRESENTS FOR CHRISTMAS. If you want to get other adults presents for Christmas, do so, and enjoy. Some of us don't feel like celebrating a religious holiday with secular materialism. Some of us think the Santa side of Christmas really is just for kids, too.

I'll really blow your mind when I let you in on the secret that some of us also think celebrating non-milestone birthdays with lots of gifts, cakes, parties, etc. past the age of about 25 or so is also moronic.


Where did EITHER of these comments mention GIFTS? So jump off your soap box. The whole point is SS is being hurtful to his family. He doesn't have to buy stuff - even if he told grandparents he was taking them out for a movie or for a walk in a park as a gift, they'd be thrilled.


It literally says gift in the thread title. OP is clearly referring to physical gifts.


Then don't quote two comments that DON'T refer to gifts.


Why?
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:27     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:It’s flat out weird to expect the girlfriend to do more than the guy. When I was dating I took my cues from my boyfriend - if he wasn’t helping I sure wasn’t going to.


Sexism. So much sexism. The son was probably raised that way because boys aren't expected to be considerate and think of others. Girls should.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:27     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you guys don’t think this is a troll?


No. Step moms are the worst. They are interlopers on a family units trying to put their options all over a family event. She is not related to anybody in the story, she is the outsider.

Didn’t get along with your stepmom, huh?
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:23     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
*second
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:23     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
You are just mad he had a family with someone else. You are secons choice.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:20     Subject: Re:26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
OP - You are literally the definition of Evil Step Mom.

...And I’ve been a stepmom for 25 years.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:20     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:OP, when he was young did you have him buy or make gifts for his dad and did his dad do that for you? Wondering how to prevent this in my kid. Also, did your son always see you show up with host gift when traveling or going to parties?


OP has not come back. I suspect she was 13 when he was 8.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:19     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:Next year way in advance of Christmas you talk to your DH and remind him that his son is now 27 - not 7 - and he no longer needs a big carnival Christmas. Ask your DH if he at that age was expecting that kind of show from his parents. Don’t say it meanly.

Then suggest smaller token type gifts that you all can exchange with him. Like candy or small gift cards. Just 2 gifts or so.

Then also suggest that at 27 he should be buying for his grandparents a small token gift as well since it’s the right thing for an adult to do.

As far as the girlfriend, she might genuinely not know. I didn’t know what a hostess gift was until we’ll into college bc my parents didn’t entertain or even go out much so I never knew of the practice. A friend had to tell me about it in college so it’s entirely possible she doesn’t know to bring gifts.


Huh? Why does OP get to tell this family how to celebrate Christmas???
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:17     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
OP, when he was young did you have him buy or make gifts for his dad and did his dad do that for you? Wondering how to prevent this in my kid. Also, did your son always see you show up with host gift when traveling or going to parties?
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:16     Subject: Re:26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As step-mom, it’s not your place to say anything, especially if you never provided him parental care as a child. MYOB.


B.S. If someone came up to her DH in a store and intentionally hit him with a cart, should she stand off to the side and say nothing? If someone hurts someone I love, I got their back. Watching this selfish guy treat his father, sister and grandparents with disdain is hurtful.


We don't know if those people are hurt by the stepson's lack of gift-giving or not; it sounds like they're fine with it, otherwise they would speak up themselves. Why does OP think she has to save these people, who are adults? It's OP who is bent out of shape, and she ruined her relationship with her stepson by insulting him about his lack of gifts instead of teaching him to bring gifts. That's really, really not nice at all. She sounds horrible. If I were the stepson I would stop going and tell everyone that OP insulted him and his feelings just aren't in it anymore because of her. See how much of a protector and savior she looks like then.

OP is mean.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:15     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you guys don’t think this is a troll?


No. Step moms are the worst. They are interlopers on a family units trying to put their options all over a family event. She is not related to anybody in the story, she is the outsider.


Stereotype much? Every person who ever partners with someone else should then be considered an "outsider" I guess.


You should know your place. You let them have their own traditions not impose yours on them.

You really need to read up on how to be a good step.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:13     Subject: Re:26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s weird for a 26 yo to buy a step mom a present.

What is your age difference?

Do you work?

You’re not even related to him. Grandparents don’t get gifts in our
House either.


NP.
Is that really weird?? When I was 26, I always gave my stepfather a gift. It would have been odd if I excluded him!

I get what OP is saying. However, she was rude to bring it up the way she did.
Nonetheless, there is age where you cross over into “reciprocity.” And that definitely happens at 26!


It's weird unless he is raised you.


I always had to give my stepdad a gift as an adult or else he and my mom would flip out (and he didn’t raise me). I pretty much resent required gift-giving, and I prefer that people don’t give me gifts either so I don’t feel obligated to give them one.


None of my friend that are remarried expect their kids to give their new spouse a gift. It’s weird. I’m sorry they did that to you.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:12     Subject: 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you guys don’t think this is a troll?


No. Step moms are the worst. They are interlopers on a family units trying to put their options all over a family event. She is not related to anybody in the story, she is the outsider.


Stereotype much? Every person who ever partners with someone else should then be considered an "outsider" I guess.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2019 09:09     Subject: Re:26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s weird for a 26 yo to buy a step mom a present.

What is your age difference?

Do you work?

You’re not even related to him. Grandparents don’t get gifts in our
House either.


NP.
Is that really weird?? When I was 26, I always gave my stepfather a gift. It would have been odd if I excluded him!

I get what OP is saying. However, she was rude to bring it up the way she did.
Nonetheless, there is age where you cross over into “reciprocity.” And that definitely happens at 26!


It's weird unless he is raised you.


I always had to give my stepdad a gift as an adult or else he and my mom would flip out (and he didn’t raise me). I pretty much resent required gift-giving, and I prefer that people don’t give me gifts either so I don’t feel obligated to give them one.