Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 15:05     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP I assume these people are white Americans? I've noticed the increased permissiveness too among this group over the years (not all, of course). POC and immigrants tend to have stricter parenting practices.


You mean they're more likely to hit their kids. That's a fact.


No, actually not white - the kid climbing the pole had a parent who was not white (not sure what culture), the shoe hitting kid has a white mom and a Chinese American father, the gift receiver was white, and the lego thrower was white. But I don't think it is a white thing or a generational thing (which admittedly surprises me - I thought the older parents would be more discipline-oriented).
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 15:02     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid I remember kids playing with lighter fluid and matches - in elementary school! The difference is, there were no parents anywhere in sight. Someone found the lighter fluid in their garage, someone else found a lighter, someone else had some trash to burn and off we went. All kids 5 to 10 in a good neighborhood in an UMC area.

The difference now is that kids are rarely alone to get into trouble - there’s always an adult around. The smug parents on this board didn’t know half the things their “well behaved” kids were doing.

They sent their kids outside in the morning and told them to come back at lunch and dinner time. Whatever mischief the kids got into was not their problem...


Yes, we did all sorts of stuff outside of the eye of adults.

Kids these days are undersocialized because every moment is planned and monitored by an adult.


Do you actually have kids, or are you just a bitter old person?

I have a kid and--guess what--kids in my neighborhood run around all the time without adult supervision.

My guess is the last kids you were around were grandkids.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 15:01     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid I remember kids playing with lighter fluid and matches - in elementary school! The difference is, there were no parents anywhere in sight. Someone found the lighter fluid in their garage, someone else found a lighter, someone else had some trash to burn and off we went. All kids 5 to 10 in a good neighborhood in an UMC area.

The difference now is that kids are rarely alone to get into trouble - there’s always an adult around. The smug parents on this board didn’t know half the things their “well behaved” kids were doing.

They sent their kids outside in the morning and told them to come back at lunch and dinner time. Whatever mischief the kids got into was not their problem...


Yes, we did all sorts of stuff outside of the eye of adults.

Kids these days are undersocialized because every moment is planned and monitored by an adult.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 15:00     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:OP I assume these people are white Americans? I've noticed the increased permissiveness too among this group over the years (not all, of course). POC and immigrants tend to have stricter parenting practices.


You mean they're more likely to hit their kids. That's a fact.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:59     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Glad I was able to raise my kids in an era when it was still okay to snatch a brat up and threaten to beat the shit out of them if they didn't sit down.

Condolences to all the parents who would be shamed and branded social outcasts for doing such a thing nowadays.


exactly. We are damned if we do and damned if we dont


Wow. It's sad that you don't understand how to discipline a kid without hitting them. I was raised to not be a brat and my parents didn't "threaten to beat the shit" out of me.

You people are abusive.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:52     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
When I was a kid I remember kids playing with lighter fluid and matches - in elementary school! The difference is, there were no parents anywhere in sight. Someone found the lighter fluid in their garage, someone else found a lighter, someone else had some trash to burn and off we went. All kids 5 to 10 in a good neighborhood in an UMC area.

The difference now is that kids are rarely alone to get into trouble - there’s always an adult around. The smug parents on this board didn’t know half the things their “well behaved” kids were doing.

They sent their kids outside in the morning and told them to come back at lunch and dinner time. Whatever mischief the kids got into was not their problem...
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:45     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:Huge eye roll OP. A kid threw Duplos and it's the end of civilization as we know it? Kids are kids, parent your own and stop generalizing catastrophe simply because someone else's kids made you cranky.


That's the problem, your attitude of kids are kids. My kids would never have behaved inappropriately in public for fear of the consequences. I did parent my own, and those that chose not to parent their children in my home either were parented by me, or were asked to leave. I worked hard for my things and my children things. I don't want some other person's brat breaking them, only to hear mommy laugh and say kids will be kids.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:25     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You guys know there is a middle ground between passively watching a child hit an adult with a shoe and screaming at them and threatening/following through on violence, right?


PP absolutely but when you see that, your own rambunctious little one doesn’t seem so bad in comparison. So you let stuff go that you should not. My kid never did anything that extreme but I still fell into the “developmentally normal” trap instead of immediately correcting wild behavior. So while I may at first judge playground mom with 4 kids who corrects her kids for playing with swings the wrong way...she’s probably right or closer to it than me.
Developmentally normal still belongs on a short leash. Parents are only hearing “it’s normal.” We are not communicating how to shape and mold behavior.


OP back - so - maybe there IS a parenting shift taking place - it is not just me ranting here. Has the pendulum now swung so that people judge the mom for correcting the kid? To put it differently, if I see my kid acting poorly in gymnastics, and I go in and tell him to listen to the instructor or we are leaving, are people judging me for that?


Yes. Don't do that. That's the instructors job and it distracts your kid and all the other kids too, when you do that.


Er, no. It's not a gym instructor's job to wrangle little wild animals. They are there to teach gymnastics to the kids who are capable of learning it and would like to learn it. They have a huge responsibility to keep the kids safe with tumbling etc. They are not zookeepers.

You can tell your kid before they join the class that if they don't show that they want to learn and are ready to listen and learn, then you will immediately take them home. And then do it. That's way less distracting (and safer) for the class than misbehaving kids.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:19     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guess what? I don’t care what anyone thinks about my decisions to raise MY child that I’ve known since their lungs were developed in my womb and their toe first gave a kick. Any discipline I give is with love. And I have a beautiful relationship with my child, she tells me all the time things that really move me, since I am certainly no perfect mother. I’m always worried about doing it wrong, but for the right reasons - I don’t want to ruin something so pure and innocent. I’m not worried about doing it wrong because someone on DCUM May lose their sensibilities in my approach.


Said Veruca Salt's mom


Who? What?
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:16     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You guys know there is a middle ground between passively watching a child hit an adult with a shoe and screaming at them and threatening/following through on violence, right?


PP absolutely but when you see that, your own rambunctious little one doesn’t seem so bad in comparison. So you let stuff go that you should not. My kid never did anything that extreme but I still fell into the “developmentally normal” trap instead of immediately correcting wild behavior. So while I may at first judge playground mom with 4 kids who corrects her kids for playing with swings the wrong way...she’s probably right or closer to it than me.
Developmentally normal still belongs on a short leash. Parents are only hearing “it’s normal.” We are not communicating how to shape and mold behavior.


OP back - so - maybe there IS a parenting shift taking place - it is not just me ranting here. Has the pendulum now swung so that people judge the mom for correcting the kid? To put it differently, if I see my kid acting poorly in gymnastics, and I go in and tell him to listen to the instructor or we are leaving, are people judging me for that?


I judge you as one of the few decent parents left. We do the same thing. And we've followed through without another warning, even if that means creating a bit of a scene as we hurriedly get the kid out the door.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:04     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
OP I assume these people are white Americans? I've noticed the increased permissiveness too among this group over the years (not all, of course). POC and immigrants tend to have stricter parenting practices.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 14:01     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
All I get from this is OP has awful friends and a terrible social circle.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 13:52     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:Glad I was able to raise my kids in an era when it was still okay to snatch a brat up and threaten to beat the shit out of them if they didn't sit down.

Condolences to all the parents who would be shamed and branded social outcasts for doing such a thing nowadays.


exactly. We are damned if we do and damned if we dont
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 13:52     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Anonymous wrote:Guess what? I don’t care what anyone thinks about my decisions to raise MY child that I’ve known since their lungs were developed in my womb and their toe first gave a kick. Any discipline I give is with love. And I have a beautiful relationship with my child, she tells me all the time things that really move me, since I am certainly no perfect mother. I’m always worried about doing it wrong, but for the right reasons - I don’t want to ruin something so pure and innocent. I’m not worried about doing it wrong because someone on DCUM May lose their sensibilities in my approach.


Said Veruca Salt's mom
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2019 13:45     Subject: It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.
Guess what? I don’t care what anyone thinks about my decisions to raise MY child that I’ve known since their lungs were developed in my womb and their toe first gave a kick. Any discipline I give is with love. And I have a beautiful relationship with my child, she tells me all the time things that really move me, since I am certainly no perfect mother. I’m always worried about doing it wrong, but for the right reasons - I don’t want to ruin something so pure and innocent. I’m not worried about doing it wrong because someone on DCUM May lose their sensibilities in my approach.