Anonymous wrote:OP, please get yourself therapy. You sound very angry and it isn't healthy.

IM NOT ANGRY. LOL. I’m really not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow these responses strike me as nuts. Yes, op, I've absolutely donated gifts basically upon opening. My kids never noticed. Sometimes when they were little I opened them before they did (if they were mailed to us) and donated before kids even saw them. We have a small apartment and kids have tons of toys here and at school. They're totally happy kids and hopefully the recipients of the donated toys were happy, too. Or maybe they regifted, also. Whatever!

You intercepted your kids gifts, opened them, and donated them before they even saw them?!?

Omg you win shitty parent of the year. And that’s saying a lot on DCUM.

Okay, I do this all the time because my parents will arbitrarily send 7 gifts to one kid and one to another. Asking them not to do this results in tears and the silent treatment. I also open the gifts ahead of time, because they send wildly inappropriate things (large Swiss Army knife for a 5 yo). And we get bombarded with stuff. As in, over 150 tree ornaments in the last 10 years from my stepmother. My ornament box is full and I’m not buying another so that I can indulge her shopping.

My family is so dysfunctional on a day to day basis that it is hard to indulge what might seem like little quirks at the holidays.

Same! And then they forget what they've given them so they get it for them again. My mother gives my kids a ball every time (sometimes a ball each). Small balls, large balls, nerf balls, princess balls, paw patrol balls (my kids have aged out of paw patrol), playground type balls, textured balls, and lots of random balls. We live in a condo. Where are we supposed to store and play with all these balls?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow these responses strike me as nuts. Yes, op, I've absolutely donated gifts basically upon opening. My kids never noticed. Sometimes when they were little I opened them before they did (if they were mailed to us) and donated before kids even saw them. We have a small apartment and kids have tons of toys here and at school. They're totally happy kids and hopefully the recipients of the donated toys were happy, too. Or maybe they regifted, also. Whatever!

You intercepted your kids gifts, opened them, and donated them before they even saw them?!?

Omg you win shitty parent of the year. And that’s saying a lot on DCUM.

Okay, I do this all the time because my parents will arbitrarily send 7 gifts to one kid and one to another. Asking them not to do this results in tears and the silent treatment. I also open the gifts ahead of time, because they send wildly inappropriate things (large Swiss Army knife for a 5 yo). And we get bombarded with stuff. As in, over 150 tree ornaments in the last 10 years from my stepmother. My ornament box is full and I’m not buying another so that I can indulge her shopping.

My family is so dysfunctional on a day to day basis that it is hard to indulge what might seem like little quirks at the holidays.

OP, please get yourself therapy. You sound very angry and it isn't healthy.

What do you do when the grandparents visit? Surely they must be looking around for the toys they got your kids?

It also depends how many kids you have and how much room.

OP, solidarity! I hear you. It feels SO wasteful. We all have way too much stuff. I read somewhere that kids feel overwhelmed with anything more than 7 toys. Total. In the entire house. I actively try to stem the amount of stuff coming into out house and we still probably have 100 toys easily. Including dolls, puzzles, stuffed animals etc. SEVEN! Most kids on here will get more than 7 toys on Xmas day.

So yes, this is sort of new problem. We all have too much stuff. Including our children. And we are drowning in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here back again.

I completely acknowledge that my post is from a place of privilege. I know how lucky we are to have family and gifts.

THAT ASIDE...because this post was meant to be a discussion.

The gifts were not from the amazon list. They were random gifts. And they were much more expensive than experiences.

When the boys opened them, I encouraged them to say thank you and be excited. We played with the toys and were very grateful. We’ll send thank you cards.

At home, I put the toys in the corner with the other toys. My boys never touched them. So, I’ve donated them.

I don’t get how that makes me terrible. I’m just trying to talk to other parents about gifts.

I would have waited more than a few days. Sometimes kids find something in their basket months later and it is a best toy for them at that time and becomes a favorite.

+1 Just because the kids didn't play with it within the first couple days, doesn't mean they won't enjoy it a bit later. Sounds like a lot of parents putting their own needs/wants/interests above those of their children. That's fine but just admit it. Don't act like your kids don't like toys.

I'm all for donating unwanted toys, OP. For me, it's purely an ego boost for the ILs (and maybe reliving their own childhood wishes?) and they demand pictures at every step of the unwrapping, unboxing and playing with the gifts.

We've also gently requested less toys, Amazon wishlist purchases, and experiences but they just want to buy what they love, not what my children would actually be into. Though honestly, sometimes we're actually surprised with a sleeper hit toy.

But most of the time, I have a six month plan...2 months on a shelf where they can access it (if they play with it often, it stays), 2 months in the closet, 2 months sitting in my donation pile. Ultimately, they make their way to communal playrooms, children's hospitals or on my local BN network.

All this to say, try to let the anger go and focus on something you can change. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Not op but who doesn't?
We rotate out the toys. Each kid gets toys that fit in their rooms and some in a chest in the family room. They each have a large tub in teh garage where the extra go. We rotate stuff out every other month or so. If something isn't chosen to be played iwth in months, i either donate or move to our permanent storage (if it was sentimental or something, but really very few make it this far).

We never rotated toys. That sounds like a lot of work. We have 3 kids. Yes, we had a lot of toys in our house for a few years. The toy years are very short in the greater scheme of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow these responses strike me as nuts. Yes, op, I've absolutely donated gifts basically upon opening. My kids never noticed. Sometimes when they were little I opened them before they did (if they were mailed to us) and donated before kids even saw them. We have a small apartment and kids have tons of toys here and at school. They're totally happy kids and hopefully the recipients of the donated toys were happy, too. Or maybe they regifted, also. Whatever!

You intercepted your kids gifts, opened them, and donated them before they even saw them?!?

Omg you win shitty parent of the year. And that’s saying a lot on DCUM.

Plus it's such a mean thing to do to the grandparents. They went to the trouble of getting their grand kids presents and they were donated to someone else? Harsh.

OP, you came on DCUM to complain, not to discuss. That's why you came off as mean -- complaining that your kids' grandparents had gotten them gifts you thought were all wrong. That's not the spirit of the season, at all.

Anonymous wrote:Wow these responses strike me as nuts. Yes, op, I've absolutely donated gifts basically upon opening. My kids never noticed. Sometimes when they were little I opened them before they did (if they were mailed to us) and donated before kids even saw them. We have a small apartment and kids have tons of toys here and at school. They're totally happy kids and hopefully the recipients of the donated toys were happy, too. Or maybe they regifted, also. Whatever!

You intercepted your kids gifts, opened them, and donated them before they even saw them?!?

Omg you win shitty parent of the year. And that’s saying a lot on DCUM.

Not op but who doesn't?
We rotate out the toys. Each kid gets toys that fit in their rooms and some in a chest in the family room. They each have a large tub in teh garage where the extra go. We rotate stuff out every other month or so. If something isn't chosen to be played iwth in months, i either donate or move to our permanent storage (if it was sentimental or something, but really very few make it this far).

I want to hear more about OPs “toy corner”. Do you try to limit the toys you own to a certain amount of space or what

Not everyone wants their home filled to the brim with crap their kids DON"T want.
Its bad enough with the stuff they do want, and believe me they have a TON. Why would I want to either step over or store (because i have very little) things my kids don't like and won't ever play with. Because I know them and their tastes and we have been down this road for many years with gifts that just aren't them.
That doesn't make them bad or me bad. I have received clothing not in my taste. I am gracious but then pass to somone who really does want it. How is that not better than shoving it in my closet for 10 years never to see the light of day?