Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 17:00     Subject: Re:Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why is OP accused of snobbery (love Indian food but don't know what pho is either) - it does seem like this guy lived some kind of an isolated life. He won't all of a sudden become interested in trying different foods (or he will, just so that she likes him for the time being, but not in a long run). Usually this kind of ignorance comes with some other problems, I'd be careful. Food habits are really important for a life together.
Yes, there should be some compromising but not on everything. So far his only asset is that he seems kind.



Really? This seems like such a useless way to judge people.


I'm a huge foodie and love to eat. DH eats for sustenance. We eat everywhere from hole in the wall pho places to Michelin star restaurants. He is not an exciting eater but he isn't picky either. His first choice food would be burgers or steak. We have been married for 12 years and have 3 children together.

He also prefers to stay local or go to the beach. I love exotic travel. He has gone with me to Europe, Asia and the Middle East.

DH also doesn't read but he is an ivy league educated physician. He rarely reads for leisure but he publishes research and reads medical journals so he is literate.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 16:53     Subject: Re:Second Date- Yes or No
I'm Asian American so I love both pho and Indian. I used to work in an office with mostly white guys from the south and midwest. I am pretty sure none of them ever ate Asian food. It isn't that weird.

I once dated a guy who was pretty amazing but he never left the country and seemed uninterested in doing so. To me, that was a huge turn off.

It really depends what is important to you.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 16:21     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Recently separated 46 year old UMC, post grad educated, white woman. I'd been married for 14 years. I haven't been with another man since before my husband.

My sister says I needed to say fvck it and just into into Tinder to 'get alive again'

First few dates are just really ick because its obvious the guys think it's basically a booty call. That's not my interest at all.

Match with another guy and we actually correspond for a week before meeting. We meet. He's cute-ish, a little short, but he's professional, well spoken and kind so I'm open to meet again.

I suggest Indian. He says he's never had Indian food. I figure he's kidding but he's not so I say how about Pho. He says he doesn't even know what that is. Alarms are going off. How does a 45 year old urban professional not know about Pho or curry? Just for fun I then suggest Banh Mi. Yeah, never heard of that. He's never been out off the country. He doesn't read, never been to a play etc.

He's incredibly uncultured and its weird given his station.

Would you go out again?


A lot of responders are focusing on his food choices. I'm a guy and the bigger red flags to me would be that he doesn't read. I doubt I would be compatible with someone who doesn't read. But I'm a college professor, in two book clubs, have authored two books, subscribe to NY Times, Washing Post, New Yorker, The Atlantic, etc.
I'm a foodie too, but I'd probably be willing to work around the limited cuisine exposure.
The no reading would likely be a deal breaker for me.


I'm sure he reads because he must be literate. I'm sure he reads various things at work. He may not be in some book club and probably isn't reading the latest Opra recommended vampire novel or 50 shades but many professionals are too busy working and simply don't have time bandwidth to "read" in their down time. As for me, I don't "read" either and its in large part to the fact that after 12 hours or reading crap on a computer all day I don't want to (1) touch a computer (2) read another word of anything (3) think about anything of consequence. If that is a red flag so be it.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 16:16     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:Recently separated 46 year old UMC, post grad educated, white woman. I'd been married for 14 years. I haven't been with another man since before my husband.

My sister says I needed to say fvck it and just into into Tinder to 'get alive again'

First few dates are just really ick because its obvious the guys think it's basically a booty call. That's not my interest at all.

Match with another guy and we actually correspond for a week before meeting. We meet. He's cute-ish, a little short, but he's professional, well spoken and kind so I'm open to meet again.

I suggest Indian. He says he's never had Indian food. I figure he's kidding but he's not so I say how about Pho. He says he doesn't even know what that is. Alarms are going off. How does a 45 year old urban professional not know about Pho or curry? Just for fun I then suggest Banh Mi. Yeah, never heard of that. He's never been out off the country. He doesn't read, never been to a play etc.

He's incredibly uncultured and its weird given his station.

Would you go out again?


The fact that you consider is job is "station" or that you even think in those sort of pride and prejudice little women terms should give you pause about yourself. Maybe his is simply down-to-earth and you are judging him for it.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2019 16:05     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:I really want to know if OP has had sex since divorce. With anyone. OP?


OP did have one steamy date but it imploded before they hit the sack when they couldn't agree on a prioritized list of ethnic sandwiches.

Seriously OP, dial it down a bit. Your post reeks of self-assigned superiority and you ridiculed the guy. I know the divorce is raw but calm down, be kind, and try to have a laugh with some new people.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2019 12:32     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
I really want to know if OP has had sex since divorce. With anyone. OP?
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2019 11:55     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
You know - some of us LOVE butter chicken, cheese spinach, and jasmine rice. Or basically a fancy bowl of ramen (pho). Not because we are proving anything. But because it is delicious.

But it’s fine, mo quinoa and gluten free for you, mo meatball and curried coat for me.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2019 11:22     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:Recently separated 46 year old UMC, post grad educated, white woman. I'd been married for 14 years. I haven't been with another man since before my husband.

My sister says I needed to say fvck it and just into into Tinder to 'get alive again'

First few dates are just really ick because its obvious the guys think it's basically a booty call. That's not my interest at all.

Match with another guy and we actually correspond for a week before meeting. We meet. He's cute-ish, a little short, but he's professional, well spoken and kind so I'm open to meet again.

I suggest Indian. He says he's never had Indian food. I figure he's kidding but he's not so I say how about Pho. He says he doesn't even know what that is. Alarms are going off. How does a 45 year old urban professional not know about Pho or curry? Just for fun I then suggest Banh Mi. Yeah, never heard of that. He's never been out off the country. He doesn't read, never been to a play etc.

He's incredibly uncultured and its weird given his station.

Would you go out again?


I don't eat Pho, curry, Bahn Mi, Indian..AND HAVE NO INTEREST TO. As a white, urban professional I have no interest to eat food from 3rd world countries. When I was young & had no money, I did the "local" food & got seriously ill. I do not need to prove I am "cultured" by eating crap. I travel extensively, but I stay in 4 or 5 star hotels, & eat American/European cuisine. I hope after he gets his booty call, he moves on.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2019 19:06     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
It is evident that you don't respect him. Why bother.
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2019 13:40     Subject: Re:Second Date- Yes or No
I married a guy who is extremely well-read, intelligent, and loves trying new and different foods, and actually dislikes what he calls "boring" tasteless food. He's also kind of selfish, condescending, and disrespectful. He has his good and bad, but I think if I were to do it all again - I might have put more value on character and how he treats people, including myself. The other stuff is just icing on the cake, but you have to start with a good man - and a good man doesn't necessarily have to have tried Indian or know what Pho is.

Was he kind and respectful to the waitstaff?
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2019 09:04     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:Recently separated 46 year old UMC, post grad educated, white woman. I'd been married for 14 years. I haven't been with another man since before my husband.

My sister says I needed to say fvck it and just into into Tinder to 'get alive again'

First few dates are just really ick because its obvious the guys think it's basically a booty call. That's not my interest at all.

Match with another guy and we actually correspond for a week before meeting. We meet. He's cute-ish, a little short, but he's professional, well spoken and kind so I'm open to meet again.

I suggest Indian. He says he's never had Indian food. I figure he's kidding but he's not so I say how about Pho. He says he doesn't even know what that is. Alarms are going off. How does a 45 year old urban professional not know about Pho or curry? Just for fun I then suggest Banh Mi. Yeah, never heard of that. He's never been out off the country. He doesn't read, never been to a play etc.

He's incredibly uncultured and its weird given his station.

Would you go out again?


You sound absolutely insufferable. You don't deserve to date, you don't treat them with any respect.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2019 16:46     Subject: Second Date- Yes or No
Don't go. I wouldn't. He sounds like his world is small.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2019 12:47     Subject: Re:Second Date- Yes or No
So what happens when parents who eat the samet hing, have a child who is allergic to everything?


It's actually easier than him eating just Mc Donalds and them having a kid "allergic to everything".
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2019 12:16     Subject: Re:Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why is OP accused of snobbery (love Indian food but don't know what pho is either) - it does seem like this guy lived some kind of an isolated life. He won't all of a sudden become interested in trying different foods (or he will, just so that she likes him for the time being, but not in a long run). Usually this kind of ignorance comes with some other problems, I'd be careful. Food habits are really important for a life together.
Yes, there should be some compromising but not on everything. So far his only asset is that he seems kind.



Really? This seems like such a useless way to judge people.


It's actually practical, while you think that being morally superior is more important. Just imagine a life of a couple where she wants deliciously cooked meal and he only eats fast food or vice versa. How does the food shopping look? What are kids encouraged to eat? Is trying new restaurants fun activity or a drag? Or some other scenario where one person eats non-stop and the other one doesn't?



NP. That is the stupidest thing i Have ever heard. So what happens when parents who eat the samet hing, have a child who is allergic to everything?

Again - stupid reason to not have love or sex.

OP, have you gotten any yet?!?!?
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2019 11:49     Subject: Re:Second Date- Yes or No
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why is OP accused of snobbery (love Indian food but don't know what pho is either) - it does seem like this guy lived some kind of an isolated life. He won't all of a sudden become interested in trying different foods (or he will, just so that she likes him for the time being, but not in a long run). Usually this kind of ignorance comes with some other problems, I'd be careful. Food habits are really important for a life together.
Yes, there should be some compromising but not on everything. So far his only asset is that he seems kind.



Really? This seems like such a useless way to judge people.


It's actually practical, while you think that being morally superior is more important. Just imagine a life of a couple where she wants deliciously cooked meal and he only eats fast food or vice versa. How does the food shopping look? What are kids encouraged to eat? Is trying new restaurants fun activity or a drag? Or some other scenario where one person eats non-stop and the other one doesn't?