Anonymous
12/20/2019 01:20
Subject: Re:Can't Decide on Wedding..
If you invite 100 people, not all 100 are coming. You may have 80, especially if some of your guests are out of state or have young children.
If he sets a budget for 100k, that doesn’t mean you have to spend 100k. Even if you pick a place like st Regis or four seasons, it will be like $300pp. With gratuity and everything, maybe $400pp.
Flowers 10k
Reception 40k
Dress 5k
Photographer 5k
I’m not seeing this wedding costing $100k for 80 people.
Let your fiancé invite the 10-20 extra people who may or may not even come.
I no longer enjoy going to weddings unless it is a close friend. We decline if it is out of state.
If he sets a budget for 100k, that doesn’t mean you have to spend 100k. Even if you pick a place like st Regis or four seasons, it will be like $300pp. With gratuity and everything, maybe $400pp.
Flowers 10k
Reception 40k
Dress 5k
Photographer 5k
I’m not seeing this wedding costing $100k for 80 people.
Let your fiancé invite the 10-20 extra people who may or may not even come.
I no longer enjoy going to weddings unless it is a close friend. We decline if it is out of state.
Anonymous
12/18/2019 16:48
Subject: Re:Can't Decide on Wedding..
Anonymous wrote:I would say two things:
1) It's very possible, if you're careful about the budget, to have a nice, traditional wedding (dinner, dancing, open bar, fancy dress, etc, etc) in DC for 150 people for $40k - that's exactly what I did two years ago. So I would say, first of all, before getting to guest list, maybe talk to a wedding planner (especially when you're this far off in your visions, I would use a wedding planner for sure) and see how the different things you're both envisioning translate to $$, what you actually care about, what you don't, where you agree, where you disagree, and come up with a budget.
2) Guest list numbers in the abstract are basically useless. My husband and I were like, "yeah, standard wedding, probably around 150 people?" and made a budget with that in mind. Our first draft of "okay, let's start with the A list - people we absolutely have to invite" was 223 people. So I'd start actually writing down names before you argue about the number.
I guess at the end of the day, I think compromise is key here - if he really wants 200 people, and upon listing them, you can get on board, well, that's where you spend your money. But he might be fine with just beer/wine, or with 3 passed apps instead of 5, or the cheaper venue, and you could buy a David's Bridal dress for $200, and save money in other places.
This is excellent advice.
Anonymous
12/18/2019 11:34
Subject: Re:Can't Decide on Wedding..
I would say two things:
1) It's very possible, if you're careful about the budget, to have a nice, traditional wedding (dinner, dancing, open bar, fancy dress, etc, etc) in DC for 150 people for $40k - that's exactly what I did two years ago. So I would say, first of all, before getting to guest list, maybe talk to a wedding planner (especially when you're this far off in your visions, I would use a wedding planner for sure) and see how the different things you're both envisioning translate to $$, what you actually care about, what you don't, where you agree, where you disagree, and come up with a budget.
2) Guest list numbers in the abstract are basically useless. My husband and I were like, "yeah, standard wedding, probably around 150 people?" and made a budget with that in mind. Our first draft of "okay, let's start with the A list - people we absolutely have to invite" was 223 people. So I'd start actually writing down names before you argue about the number.
I guess at the end of the day, I think compromise is key here - if he really wants 200 people, and upon listing them, you can get on board, well, that's where you spend your money. But he might be fine with just beer/wine, or with 3 passed apps instead of 5, or the cheaper venue, and you could buy a David's Bridal dress for $200, and save money in other places.
1) It's very possible, if you're careful about the budget, to have a nice, traditional wedding (dinner, dancing, open bar, fancy dress, etc, etc) in DC for 150 people for $40k - that's exactly what I did two years ago. So I would say, first of all, before getting to guest list, maybe talk to a wedding planner (especially when you're this far off in your visions, I would use a wedding planner for sure) and see how the different things you're both envisioning translate to $$, what you actually care about, what you don't, where you agree, where you disagree, and come up with a budget.
2) Guest list numbers in the abstract are basically useless. My husband and I were like, "yeah, standard wedding, probably around 150 people?" and made a budget with that in mind. Our first draft of "okay, let's start with the A list - people we absolutely have to invite" was 223 people. So I'd start actually writing down names before you argue about the number.
I guess at the end of the day, I think compromise is key here - if he really wants 200 people, and upon listing them, you can get on board, well, that's where you spend your money. But he might be fine with just beer/wine, or with 3 passed apps instead of 5, or the cheaper venue, and you could buy a David's Bridal dress for $200, and save money in other places.