Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it- you worked, got home, did no heavy lifting, had no kids to care/cook for, ate in peaceful silence and had a nap until you were woken. This is standard for men.

Your gifts were random and sucked. This is standard for women.

Maybe go to bed when you are tired if getting awoken in a public area of the house is so upsetting for you.

I never said where I slept then. I was in bed. It was 9:30 pm, I get up at 5 for work. On that day, I worked from 6 am until 7 pm. Went home and crashed.

hey OP, I love Rao's. Last year, DH forgot my birthday but I didn't realize it until he called me at work to say he would be taking his mother to dinner and would be home late. I swear I thought it was some kind of surprise but no....we don't do gifts anyway, but usually there's a cake to share with the kids. A few days later my daughter (age 7) realized my birthday had passed unmarked and made a stink--mostly because she didn't get to eat cake.

Anonymous wrote:You sound petty and childish OP. I hope you cleaned up the broken jar of sauce at least and did leave it all for wife and dog to clean up.

if the wife threw a tantrum and dropped it or smashed it then she can clean it up.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. honestly I did not expect much/anything. But this was humorously insulting. I mean, I am not really upset -- it is more of a reflection of the state of affairs as a middle-aged bread winner. I would have liked dinner and sex. I did not get either.

Heck, I would have been ok with an uninterrupted sleep, which did not happen.

DON'T WAKE SOMEONE UP FOR HOTEL TOILETRIES AND SAUSE

I'm sorry people are jumping on you. I would have been upset as well. It sounds like the two of you don't communicate and resentment is festering. Some people, particularly depressed people, hold on to resentment. Why did she wake you up with a phone call? Was that really her fault? You seem to be implying she doesn't care about you. You need to talk about the issue and plan important events. It is not unreasonable to say that birthdays are important. It's clear you two didn't talk about it at all. This sounds like a relationship where people are expected to just know what the other needs. Yes, you deserve more but you need to at least try to communicate. In my family, we rarely celebrate a birthday on the actual day. The weekdays are impossible. The birthday person decides what we are having for a meal or where we are going and also communicates ideas for gifts. Are you doing ok otherwise or is something else getting you down?. Depression can make it hard to speak up for what you need.

I don’t get it- you worked, got home, did no heavy lifting, had no kids to care/cook for, ate in peaceful silence and had a nap until you were woken. This is standard for men.

Your gifts were random and sucked. This is standard for women.

Maybe go to bed when you are tired if getting awoken in a public area of the house is so upsetting for you.

You sound petty and childish OP. I hope you cleaned up the broken jar of sauce at least and did leave it all for wife and dog to clean up.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Third night, one jar of Rao was mashed on the floor. Wife visibly angered, dog was happy.

I will rethink fourth night.

haha haha. Does she get why you’re doing this? Maybe for the fourth night you can wrap up the hotel toiletries from your birthday.

OP here. Third night, one jar of Rao was mashed on the floor. Wife visibly angered, dog was happy.

I will rethink fourth night.

Anonymous wrote:Op definitely report back on the Hanukah sauce!

First night, she thought it was funny. Second night, she was somewhat annoyed.

Actually, maybe you can regift your hotel toiletries too. Make it a running joke. Did she ever offer an explanation for the crappy gift?

Op definitely report back on the Hanukah sauce!

OP Here. On the first night of Hanukkah, I gave my wife, One jar of Raos....On the second night of Hanukkah, I gave my wife two jars of Raos. There was a good sale at Whole Foods...this will go on until the fourth night. On the fifth night, I will give a real gift.

I would teach my kids better. The one rule in my house is you dont wake up anyone thats sleeping unless its an emergency. If someone is sleepong they need their rest. I would tell the kids that things like that can wait in the future.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s the wine I’ve had, but you made my day OP. I am crying laughing.

Rao’s is the best.

OP here. This is the appropriate reaction. The only thing that annoyed me is I was woken up for the gift. I wrote this because I have seen so many stories about how the husband got a horrible gift....

The reality for me is if I need something or really want something, I can buy it. NBD. It was funny to me the double standard though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this was a woman it would go like this:

I had the best birthday ever! I was in meetings all day and I came home exhausted. When I got home, the house was clean, laundry was folded, dishes done, and dinner was on a plate for me in the fridge. DD had a band concert, and I was supposed to help set up for it, but DH went in my place and said he would cover for me at the concert.
I ate my meal in peace (I was on my own for dinner!), and watched some trash TV before I fell asleep (thank god for the real housewives). I was exhausted.
When DH and DD got back, they had bought a cake and woke me up to sing happy birthday.
DH isn’t much on presents, so I didn’t expect much when he handed me a package. He clearly hadn’t gotten a gift and so DD has picked up some random things around the house she thought I would like and put them in a TJ’a bag. Haha! I love them.

YES!!!! You are brilliant

NP +1

It's amazing how clueless guys can be.