Anonymous
11/27/2019 16:00
Subject: Re:My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old is he?
I’d try to keep it down to strictly an hour or less. I understand as I SAH w a preschooler (4.5) and toddler (2.5) and need the break sometimes too but 2 hours every day seems excessive. My 2 year old no longer naps (?) so tv time is a time for her to get a little rest too.
Why can’t your two year old simply have quiet time reading or playing in her room for an hour? Or a half hour or whatever time works for you.
Have you ever met a 2 year old? They do not do this. IME and that of my friends, this kind of independent play starts around 3.
My child is 2, almost 3 and he has been doing this consistently every afternoon after lunch.
Good for you. Most 2-3 year olds aren’t like that.
I feel lucky now. He’s my only kid and I don’t know other kids well, so I didn’t know. If it were ingrained from an early enough age and enforced, do you think many kids that age could spend time alone in their room for a half hour though? Maybe I just lucked out that DS likes counting and sorting things, so just shuffling a bunch of papers around or flipping through a book keeps him quiet during “quiet time.” He absolutely cannot seem to do this during regular play hours and needs to play WITH me. But during “quiet time” he does it himself.
I have 2 kids. My older child at age 2 could entertain himself for awhile and didn’t mind playing independently and relatively quietly for 30 minutes or sometimes even an hour at a time. My younger child is 2 almost 3 right now and the complete opposite. She’s very attached to me and extremely clingy...I’d have to lock her in her room to get her to stay there on her own, which obviously I’m not going to do. And even if I did somehow get her to stay in her room on her own without screaming for me, she’d wind up doing at least one of the following: making a huge mess, destroying something in the room, and/or injuring herself somehow. I’ve known a lot of 2-3 year olds over the years and I think my younger child’s destructive and clingy nature is much more typical for this age whereas my older child’s independent and pretty calm, quiet nature was very unusual at that age.
Anonymous
11/27/2019 09:50
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:My kids watch almost zero tv and no iPads. When we are on vacation in the summer they watch maybe 2 hours a day (they stay with my parenst for a couple of month every summer. I don’t think it matters at all. I watched a lot of tv when little (probably like your son) and I turned out fine (PhD and decent job)
Curious why you chose no screen time given how it didn’t impact you?
Anonymous
11/27/2019 09:38
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:To the PPs saying they turned out fine despite watching TV as a kid, that's irrelevant to what the research argues.
At birth, the brain already has about all of the neurons it will ever have. It doubles in size in the first year, and by age three it has reached 80 percent of its adult volume.
So if you were watching hours of TV when you were 5, that's very different than a 2 year old watch hours of TV. Also, the prevalence and content on TV as a whole isn't comparable to decades ago.
And to the PPs saying their kids learn from TV. Learning to repeat what is heard is very different than the critical, imaginative thinking that occurs during play.
Screen time is one part of parenting, so if it works for you family, that's fine. But just do your own research and be aware of the arguments against it. It's not that your kids won't turn out okay, it's that you're not optimizing this small window of brain development. And excessive amounts can lead to things like attention issues down the road.
Here's the thing: there is always *something* that is not being optimized for our children. There's always a trade-off. Some parents drive themselves bananas enriching their children during this supposedly critical window of brain development; others play the long game and realize they'll have to attend to their teenagers, too, so they might as well pace themselves. Most of the parents I know who do as you argue burn out and/or push their kids well past what's optimal for development. I mean, perfectionism isn't healthy, either, right? If Daniel Tiger helps a parent get a reasonably healthy dinner on the table without losing their freaking mind, that's not a bad thing.
(Also, brain development and the relationships between something like screen time and attention problems are way, way more complex than you're describing them to be.)
I didn't argue for no screen time. I argued for everyone to do their own research and make the best decision for their family based on that, not on a stranger's self-assessment of having turned out okay. There are a lot of variables (type of show, child's age, amount of time). And this is only one variable in raising your kid, so everyone needs to look at the full picture of their family and make decisions based on that.
We aren't a no screen family, but we aren't an every day family either. I think there's a balance and the answer is somewhere between the extremes, as with almost everything.
I never said anything about quantity of screen time; I was responding to your comment around "optimizing this small window of brain development," and your assertion that excessive amounts of screen time can lead to problems with attention later on. Those statements suggest a shallow understanding of the research we do have on those topics and a shaming attitude towards parents who use screen time as the OP describes (which is far from extreme).
Anonymous
11/26/2019 20:06
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
My kids watch almost zero tv and no iPads. When we are on vacation in the summer they watch maybe 2 hours a day (they stay with my parenst for a couple of month every summer. I don’t think it matters at all. I watched a lot of tv when little (probably like your son) and I turned out fine (PhD and decent job)
Anonymous
11/26/2019 19:02
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
All this “research” expected of parents is exhausting and only encourages the mindset that you should do this for all parenting issues.
Anonymous
11/26/2019 18:32
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:To the PPs saying they turned out fine despite watching TV as a kid, that's irrelevant to what the research argues.
At birth, the brain already has about all of the neurons it will ever have. It doubles in size in the first year, and by age three it has reached 80 percent of its adult volume.
So if you were watching hours of TV when you were 5, that's very different than a 2 year old watch hours of TV. Also, the prevalence and content on TV as a whole isn't comparable to decades ago.
And to the PPs saying their kids learn from TV. Learning to repeat what is heard is very different than the critical, imaginative thinking that occurs during play.
Screen time is one part of parenting, so if it works for you family, that's fine. But just do your own research and be aware of the arguments against it. It's not that your kids won't turn out okay, it's that you're not optimizing this small window of brain development. And excessive amounts can lead to things like attention issues down the road.
Here's the thing: there is always *something* that is not being optimized for our children. There's always a trade-off. Some parents drive themselves bananas enriching their children during this supposedly critical window of brain development; others play the long game and realize they'll have to attend to their teenagers, too, so they might as well pace themselves. Most of the parents I know who do as you argue burn out and/or push their kids well past what's optimal for development. I mean, perfectionism isn't healthy, either, right? If Daniel Tiger helps a parent get a reasonably healthy dinner on the table without losing their freaking mind, that's not a bad thing.
(Also, brain development and the relationships between something like screen time and attention problems are way, way more complex than you're describing them to be.)
I didn't argue for no screen time. I argued for everyone to do their own research and make the best decision for their family based on that, not on a stranger's self-assessment of having turned out okay. There are a lot of variables (type of show, child's age, amount of time). And this is only one variable in raising your kid, so everyone needs to look at the full picture of their family and make decisions based on that.
We aren't a no screen family, but we aren't an every day family either. I think there's a balance and the answer is somewhere between the extremes, as with almost everything.
Anonymous
11/26/2019 13:37
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:To the PPs saying they turned out fine despite watching TV as a kid, that's irrelevant to what the research argues.
At birth, the brain already has about all of the neurons it will ever have. It doubles in size in the first year, and by age three it has reached 80 percent of its adult volume.
So if you were watching hours of TV when you were 5, that's very different than a 2 year old watch hours of TV. Also, the prevalence and content on TV as a whole isn't comparable to decades ago.
And to the PPs saying their kids learn from TV. Learning to repeat what is heard is very different than the critical, imaginative thinking that occurs during play.
Screen time is one part of parenting, so if it works for you family, that's fine. But just do your own research and be aware of the arguments against it. It's not that your kids won't turn out okay, it's that you're not optimizing this small window of brain development. And excessive amounts can lead to things like attention issues down the road.
Here's the thing: there is always *something* that is not being optimized for our children. There's always a trade-off. Some parents drive themselves bananas enriching their children during this supposedly critical window of brain development; others play the long game and realize they'll have to attend to their teenagers, too, so they might as well pace themselves. Most of the parents I know who do as you argue burn out and/or push their kids well past what's optimal for development. I mean, perfectionism isn't healthy, either, right? If Daniel Tiger helps a parent get a reasonably healthy dinner on the table without losing their freaking mind, that's not a bad thing.
(Also, brain development and the relationships between something like screen time and attention problems are way, way more complex than you're describing them to be.)
Anonymous
11/26/2019 13:30
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
I have a 3 year old and literally laughed out loud at the notion that she would play quietly in her room for 30-60 minutes. She's a pretty independent kid, but would 100% want me to play with her.
Sometimes she'll play with the toys she has in the kitchen/living room for 10-15 minutes, but then she'll want me to play with her.
Sometimes she'll play with the toys she has in the kitchen/living room for 10-15 minutes, but then she'll want me to play with her.
Anonymous
11/26/2019 13:26
Subject: Re:My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old is he?
I’d try to keep it down to strictly an hour or less. I understand as I SAH w a preschooler (4.5) and toddler (2.5) and need the break sometimes too but 2 hours every day seems excessive. My 2 year old no longer naps (?) so tv time is a time for her to get a little rest too.
Why can’t your two year old simply have quiet time reading or playing in her room for an hour? Or a half hour or whatever time works for you.
Have you ever met a 2 year old? They do not do this. IME and that of my friends, this kind of independent play starts around 3.
My child is 2, almost 3 and he has been doing this consistently every afternoon after lunch.
Good for you. Most 2-3 year olds aren’t like that.
I feel lucky now. He’s my only kid and I don’t know other kids well, so I didn’t know. If it were ingrained from an early enough age and enforced, do you think many kids that age could spend time alone in their room for a half hour though? Maybe I just lucked out that DS likes counting and sorting things, so just shuffling a bunch of papers around or flipping through a book keeps him quiet during “quiet time.” He absolutely cannot seem to do this during regular play hours and needs to play WITH me. But during “quiet time” he does it himself.
Anonymous
11/26/2019 13:21
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
My 3 year old typically gets the following:
- about 10 minutes of videos during teeth brushing/potty in the morning, to keep her going (otherwise it takes forever and we have to get to work)
- 20-30 minutes while she's eating baby carrots and/or peas and i'm making dinner (DH works late, so i'm on my own and not having her watching something would make it really difficult to make dinner)
- one 5 minute video while she brushes her teeth at night
So at most 45 minutes a day. That's in line with the guidelines out there, so we feel fine about it. On road trips or planes, she gets as much screen time as she wants.
- about 10 minutes of videos during teeth brushing/potty in the morning, to keep her going (otherwise it takes forever and we have to get to work)
- 20-30 minutes while she's eating baby carrots and/or peas and i'm making dinner (DH works late, so i'm on my own and not having her watching something would make it really difficult to make dinner)
- one 5 minute video while she brushes her teeth at night
So at most 45 minutes a day. That's in line with the guidelines out there, so we feel fine about it. On road trips or planes, she gets as much screen time as she wants.
Anonymous
11/26/2019 13:17
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
I would like to keep it less than 30 min daily. But reality is such that they now ask for it, and it's easier to get stuff done with them in front of the TV.
My just turned 4 year old gets 30-45 min on weekdays, and 1 hour on weekends. Not ideal, but DD6 and DD4 each pick one show they want to watch if they can't compromise, so they end up watching more.
When younger, due to older sibling influence, he still got at least 30, closer to 45 min each day. When I only had one kid, it was easier to do the stuff I need and minimize TV time. With two kids, I just go c'est la vie.
My just turned 4 year old gets 30-45 min on weekdays, and 1 hour on weekends. Not ideal, but DD6 and DD4 each pick one show they want to watch if they can't compromise, so they end up watching more.
When younger, due to older sibling influence, he still got at least 30, closer to 45 min each day. When I only had one kid, it was easier to do the stuff I need and minimize TV time. With two kids, I just go c'est la vie.
Anonymous
11/26/2019 09:19
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:To the PPs saying they turned out fine despite watching TV as a kid, that's irrelevant to what the research argues.
At birth, the brain already has about all of the neurons it will ever have. It doubles in size in the first year, and by age three it has reached 80 percent of its adult volume.
So if you were watching hours of TV when you were 5, that's very different than a 2 year old watch hours of TV. Also, the prevalence and content on TV as a whole isn't comparable to decades ago.
And to the PPs saying their kids learn from TV. Learning to repeat what is heard is very different than the critical, imaginative thinking that occurs during play.
Screen time is one part of parenting, so if it works for you family, that's fine. But just do your own research and be aware of the arguments against it. It's not that your kids won't turn out okay, it's that you're not optimizing this small window of brain development. And excessive amounts can lead to things like attention issues down the road.
NP. Research is good information, but I've also lived long enough to see the conclusions of research studies flip and/or change over decades - so I personally believe you also have to exercise your own judgment for your kids and your situation.
For example, there's been recent research on the difference between screen time in lieu of parental involvement/engagement vs screen time in ADDITION to parental involvement/engagement... and the type of content viewed (e.g. some is curated to be more educationally oriented such as PBS). Genetics plays into the equation, proper sleep, proper nutrition - and many other factors. The challenge is that people interpret research studies too black and white, and the better studies seem to point out the many shades of grey in the conclusions.
Anonymous
11/25/2019 21:00
Subject: Re:My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old is he?
I’d try to keep it down to strictly an hour or less. I understand as I SAH w a preschooler (4.5) and toddler (2.5) and need the break sometimes too but 2 hours every day seems excessive. My 2 year old no longer naps (?) so tv time is a time for her to get a little rest too.
Why can’t your two year old simply have quiet time reading or playing in her room for an hour? Or a half hour or whatever time works for you.
Have you ever met a 2 year old? They do not do this. IME and that of my friends, this kind of independent play starts around 3.
My child is 2, almost 3 and he has been doing this consistently every afternoon after lunch.
Good for you. Most 2-3 year olds aren’t like that.
Anonymous
11/25/2019 20:42
Subject: My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
To the PPs saying they turned out fine despite watching TV as a kid, that's irrelevant to what the research argues.
At birth, the brain already has about all of the neurons it will ever have. It doubles in size in the first year, and by age three it has reached 80 percent of its adult volume.
So if you were watching hours of TV when you were 5, that's very different than a 2 year old watch hours of TV. Also, the prevalence and content on TV as a whole isn't comparable to decades ago.
And to the PPs saying their kids learn from TV. Learning to repeat what is heard is very different than the critical, imaginative thinking that occurs during play.
Screen time is one part of parenting, so if it works for you family, that's fine. But just do your own research and be aware of the arguments against it. It's not that your kids won't turn out okay, it's that you're not optimizing this small window of brain development. And excessive amounts can lead to things like attention issues down the road.
At birth, the brain already has about all of the neurons it will ever have. It doubles in size in the first year, and by age three it has reached 80 percent of its adult volume.
So if you were watching hours of TV when you were 5, that's very different than a 2 year old watch hours of TV. Also, the prevalence and content on TV as a whole isn't comparable to decades ago.
And to the PPs saying their kids learn from TV. Learning to repeat what is heard is very different than the critical, imaginative thinking that occurs during play.
Screen time is one part of parenting, so if it works for you family, that's fine. But just do your own research and be aware of the arguments against it. It's not that your kids won't turn out okay, it's that you're not optimizing this small window of brain development. And excessive amounts can lead to things like attention issues down the road.
Anonymous
11/25/2019 20:20
Subject: Re:My toddler gets 1-2 hours of tv per night
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old is he?
I’d try to keep it down to strictly an hour or less. I understand as I SAH w a preschooler (4.5) and toddler (2.5) and need the break sometimes too but 2 hours every day seems excessive. My 2 year old no longer naps (?) so tv time is a time for her to get a little rest too.
Why can’t your two year old simply have quiet time reading or playing in her room for an hour? Or a half hour or whatever time works for you.
Have you ever met a 2 year old? They do not do this. IME and that of my friends, this kind of independent play starts around 3.
My child is 2, almost 3 and he has been doing this consistently every afternoon after lunch.