A lot of people still believe that old advice that happy parents = happy kids

Your kids will figure it out some day and despise you for it.

Or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you tell your children that your spouse had sex outside of the marriage? My children don’t need to know what happens in the bedroom.

Are you just really dumb? Your kids will find out, and usually from someone else other than your spouse.

Cheater here, so do I get to tell people my wife and I don't have sex which is why I cheated? Or do we spare our kids the public airing of grievance

Nobody will believe you if you said anything anyhow. Since you are a cheater your word is not worth much.

Your kids will figure it out some day and despise you for it. Your reasoning will be immaterial at that point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you tell your children that your spouse had sex outside of the marriage? My children don’t need to know what happens in the bedroom.

+1000

They'll find out, idiots.

Oops, hit submit. I never agreed to keep his affair a secret. It's his shame. If hes ashamed, he should examine why.

And that’s ladies and gentlemen is how the kids end up screwed. I bet you’ll try to limit the father’s contact with the kids and keep drumming into their heads how bad their dad is. Then it would be years of therapy for the kids. Hell hath no fury...

Hell no. Kids end up screwed up when adults act like they make massively disruptive and harmful decisions that directly impact them for non-reasons like "we just grew apart." No. Marriages dont end because people just grew apart. There are certain dealbreakers that are insurmountable that can destroy a marriage. Abuse. Infidelity. Substance issues. I never agreed to keep a se

My ex cheated with a coworker, and the woman left her husband and moved from Del Ray to my neighborhood almost 40 minutes away, enrolled her kids in the neighborhood schools with my kids. (I kept the house when we separated, my ex moved a 5 min drive away to be near the kids). Neither she nor my ex saw any problem with this at all. Apart from the obvious issues with it, she was still doing 3 times a week custody changes with her ex. Which meant that much commute time for her small children.

Anonymous wrote:ITA. My FIL cheated big time and his precious little daughter ended up in bad relationships, being treated horribly and got herpes from her married boyfriend.
I always laugh because all the "players" I know ended up having daughters.

And sex denyers have boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ To add, what marriage means to me has nothing to do with what marriage means to other people. To me an affair is just one of 1000 bad things that you can do to your partner, but it’s definitely not the worst and it wouldn’t automatically be a deal breaker the way it is for some.

True beating your wife is also just one in a 1000 things you can do to your wife but definitely not the worst.

It’s illegal, though, and can land you in jail. Unlike consensual relationships.

Anonymous wrote:^ To add, what marriage means to me has nothing to do with what marriage means to other people. To me an affair is just one of 1000 bad things that you can do to your partner, but it’s definitely not the worst and it wouldn’t automatically be a deal breaker the way it is for some.

True beating your wife is also just one in a 1000 things you can do to your wife but definitely not the worst.

I don't think that cheaters are thinking. Or that they are even in the family person mode. They are able to disassociate at that moment and go back to the time when they were single.

^ To add, what marriage means to me has nothing to do with what marriage means to other people. To me an affair is just one of 1000 bad things that you can do to your partner, but it’s definitely not the worst and it wouldn’t automatically be a deal breaker the way it is for some.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for betrayed spouses but they overestimate how much people care about cheating. No one does. Out president cheated on every wife and even the evangelicals shrug.

They also overestimate how much people appreciate them airing their dirty laundry. Really. I have one of those in my circle, she wants everyone to know so the cheater will deal with the consequences. For now the only consequence is that people are actively seeking to avoid her and her rants. She is also doing it in front of her kids.

Is it that people don’t care about cheating or is it the way she is talking about it? No one cares that the guy cheated? No consequences?

This is so counter intuitive to me to hear because if cheating means nothing in your friend circle, what does marriage mean to you? Are you guys in open relationships?

PP. People don’t care to interject themselves into other people’s relationships and become their therapists, pastors, etc. Even if she were my best friend, the only thing I would be asking is “What can I do for you now and how can I help you to get back on your feet?”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t cheat and we ultimately divorced over lack of sex.

I think that has been harder on my kids/family than if I had cheated and we’d stayed together.

You really don't know.

Intact families are better for the kids especially when there is no resentments over lack of sex. So I would say yes, PP does indeed know it would have been better not to have divorced over something insignificant like fidelity in a sexless marriage.

If infidelity is insignificant, let your wife know about your infidelity.

YES!!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you tell your children that your spouse had sex outside of the marriage? My children don’t need to know what happens in the bedroom.

Are you just really dumb? Your kids will find out, and usually from someone else other than your spouse.

Cheater here, so do I get to tell people my wife and I don't have sex which is why I cheated? Or do we spare our kids the public airing of grievance

If it was that important to you, then you should have gotten a divorce. Betraying your wife and family is wrong, no matter how much you whine about how your wife deserved it.