There is an au pair in my neighborhood who is young and absolutely stunning (like turn-your-head pretty). She is very sweet too. It blows. my. mind. that the mom signed up for this. Even in the most committed marriages, it is a recipe for disaster to have this beautiful young woman caring for your children and not expect jealousy and attraction to kill it for you and your spouse.

^^
PP from above.
I discussed everything in interviews. Everything. Even that.

I don't care if they meet a guy here -- heck i met lots of great guys when i lived abroad! Just do the AP job, and whatever else you do is your biz.

4 AP success stories here. Mine all went home, and got the career path they were looking for. We still have our 4th, but we have visited the other 3 in their countries.

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher, single mom, and i needed an au pair. I needed the 45 hours per week. I found a wonderful first au pair from South America who was also a (young) teacher and wanted to better her English in order to work in an international school for better pay.

The next 3 au pairs were in similar situations. Numbers 2 and 4 were good friends with number 1 back home. Number 3 was from Europe and a pediatric nurse who wanted to work in an international hospital and needed fluent English. All my au pairs were 21+.

Look for young professionals, not teenagers. If you have a good au pair, ask if their friends/colleagues back home would be a good fit for your family. Have them visit while your au pair is still with you so they can see the situation and you can assess your chemistry.

None of my au pairs were from wealthy families, so no princesses. I even said that during the interviews.

Is that the only way to avoid it though? SO many au pairs are doing the job to meet a guy and stay here, from my friends' experiences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it either. I'd much rather have a live out nanny who comes over every day.

If you have a basement apartment or an apartment over the garage or something, then I could see having an au pair. But otherwise, no way would I want a stranger living in my house with me. No way.

As a single mom with a daughter (I am the PP just above) I love having another adult in the house. I feel safer. Sometimes her au pair friends come over/ stay over and i feel even safer!

Live-in domestic help (other than AP) is typical with families who travel or work overnight. If you don’t need that, great!

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it either. I'd much rather have a live out nanny who comes over every day.

If you have a basement apartment or an apartment over the garage or something, then I could see having an au pair. But otherwise, no way would I want a stranger living in my house with me. No way.

As a single mom with a daughter (I am the PP just above) I love having another adult in the house. I feel safer. Sometimes her au pair friends come over/ stay over and i feel even safer!

I am a teacher, single mom, and i needed an au pair. I needed the 45 hours per week. I found a wonderful first au pair from South America who was also a (young) teacher and wanted to better her English in order to work in an international school for better pay.

The next 3 au pairs were in similar situations. Numbers 2 and 4 were good friends with number 1 back home. Number 3 was from Europe and a pediatric nurse who wanted to work in an international hospital and needed fluent English. All my au pairs were 21+.

Look for young professionals, not teenagers. If you have a good au pair, ask if their friends/colleagues back home would be a good fit for your family. Have them visit while your au pair is still with you so they can see the situation and you can assess your chemistry.

None of my au pairs were from wealthy families, so no princesses. I even said that during the interviews.

I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if I repeat what someone else has said.

My niece was an au pair. She traveled to Spain for 18 months and had a great experience. She got up and took care of the kids (one was about 7, the other about 11) and got them off to school. She then had several hours during the day for some personal time to explore the town. She picked the kids up, got them home, got them started on homework and did her housework, light cleaning, laundry and got dinner started. After dinner, she had free time to meet with other au pairs. On weekends, she took day trips, sometimes 2 day trips. She got to explore Spain and southern France on weekends. She had a few times that she got 3 days weekends for various reasons and was able to much more traveling on those weekends. She had a great time and loved the experience. Plus her mediocre Spanish got much better. She is now in grad school and around her studies and writing, she works for a local private school in southern Cal and her improved Spanish comes in very helpful when dealing with some of the kids who have poor English.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get au pairs. Most of my friends have them. I get that cost wise it's much better. I totally get the advantage of cultural exchange. These are people who could easily afford to hire an experienced, professional adult to care for their kids.

But selecting a person whom you've never met in person, who is by definition young, by definition doesn't have a ton of experience with children (I know some have more than others) and by definition going through a major life change/transition being in a new country to care for your kids?!

And most people seem to have some sort of rematch...

+1

Not to mention the husband stories.

What are the husband stories? I mean come on you really think most au pairs want anything to do with some middle aged dudes

Well, the husbands seem to have all the criteria- job? Check. House? Check? Decent amount of money? Check. Yeah, I’ve seen nannies and au pairs move in on that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get au pairs. Most of my friends have them. I get that cost wise it's much better. I totally get the advantage of cultural exchange. These are people who could easily afford to hire an experienced, professional adult to care for their kids.

But selecting a person whom you've never met in person, who is by definition young, by definition doesn't have a ton of experience with children (I know some have more than others) and by definition going through a major life change/transition being in a new country to care for your kids?!

And most people seem to have some sort of rematch...

+1

Not to mention the husband stories.

What are the husband stories? I mean come on you really think most au pairs want anything to do with some middle aged dudes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies are over priced for our needs to drive kids from school to activities and make dinner (20 hours a week) and we get an extra 25 for date night or other things as they come up. Too many labor rights and taxes for part time nannies and they are too expensive.

Here's hoping that au pairs will soon be covered by US labor laws and the Simon Legrees of this country, like you, will no longer be able to treat au pairs like servants.

I don’t understand this mentality. As my au pair put it, they’re all actually super pissed about this because it’s throwinf a bunch of people into rematch as people quit the program and Au pairs are here because they want to travel- it’s not remotely about the money for them this isn’t a career it’s a one year gig.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get au pairs. Most of my friends have them. I get that cost wise it's much better. I totally get the advantage of cultural exchange. These are people who could easily afford to hire an experienced, professional adult to care for their kids.

But selecting a person whom you've never met in person, who is by definition young, by definition doesn't have a ton of experience with children (I know some have more than others) and by definition going through a major life change/transition being in a new country to care for your kids?!

And most people seem to have some sort of rematch...

+1

Not to mention the husband stories.

Anonymous wrote:Nannies are over priced for our needs to drive kids from school to activities and make dinner (20 hours a week) and we get an extra 25 for date night or other things as they come up. Too many labor rights and taxes for part time nannies and they are too expensive.

Here's hoping that au pairs will soon be covered by US labor laws and the Simon Legrees of this country, like you, will no longer be able to treat au pairs like servants.

It works when the young lady is mature and the parents are reasonable. The problem is... when does that ever happen?

Nannies are over priced for our needs to drive kids from school to activities and make dinner (20 hours a week) and we get an extra 25 for date night or other things as they come up. Too many labor rights and taxes for part time nannies and they are too expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's super cheap childcare.

I pay 25k a year for an AP when all
Is said and done.

She works less than 20 hours per week.

Are you trying to prove that it isn’t cheap? Is she seeing that money or is that including the agency fees and housing her?