Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 09:39     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
JFC some you people are f'ing crazy. Mind your own g-damn business and focus on your own life and family. Unbelievable.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 07:48     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can't we get Congress to pass a law that says the good friends of a decedent choose how the estate should be distributed?





It's not the friend deciding. The woman decided how she wanted HER money that SHE earned to be distributed. She told several people, including the friend and the husband (who may or may not be aware that other people were also told), that she wanted it to pass to her son. She was clear in her decision. In most parts of the country, verbal wishes still mean something. Not everything needs to be written down. The wife had no reason at the time to think that her husband would betray her.

I would tell the son and tell him that I will be his witness if he wants to take the father to court. He should be able to sue the father to set up a trust for himself. The father can remarry but the money should all go to the son in that case.


The bolded is the opposite of what the law says when it comes to wills. Verbal wishes mean nothing, it has to be in a proper writing or it’s irrelevant.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 07:20     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can't we get Congress to pass a law that says the good friends of a decedent choose how the estate should be distributed?





It's not the friend deciding. The woman decided how she wanted HER money that SHE earned to be distributed. She told several people, including the friend and the husband (who may or may not be aware that other people were also told), that she wanted it to pass to her son. She was clear in her decision. In most parts of the country, verbal wishes still mean something. Not everything needs to be written down. The wife had no reason at the time to think that her husband would betray her.

I would tell the son and tell him that I will be his witness if he wants to take the father to court. He should be able to sue the father to set up a trust for himself. The father can remarry but the money should all go to the son in that case.


That's not how it works.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 06:50     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:My friend was sick for many years and passed away three years ago. Her husband is nearing 50, her son just started his Freshman year at a prestigious school, we’re all so proud of the two of them for making it through these last couple years together.

the reason why I’m turning to DCUM and not friends is because I get that a lot of my concerns are none of my business, and possibly fueled by grief. He is engaged and planning to remarry, that’s fine, but my issue is she has two kids and now they’re expecting a baby. When my friend died, him starting another family was off the table, and that’s all I really know about the depth of their conversations. It was set-in-stone kind of decision, he was done with having children. I know she left this world thinking her son was heir to 100% of their family’s wealth, and now that number is split to 25%. Legally he plans to divide everything between the 4 children equally, he’s said this part out loud (he thought it was a funny remark).

I feel so much anger towards him, and I guess on her behalf? I’m not angry about a new baby, but I am angry that he doesn’t have the intelligence to protect HIS as children. My friends gone and her husband is giving away the farm, I just feel bad all around.


Are the shades of Pemberly to be thus polluted?
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 06:50     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
He sounds insensitive at the least, but this is strictly a MYOB situation.

You can distance yourself from him, but butt out.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 06:30     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
I think it’s odd and selfish that the deceased wife would make her husband swear to live a life forever single. The vow they made at marriage was ‘til death do they part’’. She parted so he is now free to live out his remaining days as he pleases.

If ensuring financial security for the son was the goal then that’s what should have been done. Not discussions for ways to control the husband’s love life from the grave.

I really am surprised at some of the irrational responses on this thread.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 05:17     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
This man is 50. Inheritance likely won’t be a factor in the next 35 years. Why are you stirring up trouble for the father-son relationship? I think you should leave this family alone. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2019 01:44     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can't we get Congress to pass a law that says the good friends of a decedent choose how the estate should be distributed?





It's not the friend deciding. The woman decided how she wanted HER money that SHE earned to be distributed. She told several people, including the friend and the husband (who may or may not be aware that other people were also told), that she wanted it to pass to her son. She was clear in her decision. In most parts of the country, verbal wishes still mean something. Not everything needs to be written down. The wife had no reason at the time to think that her husband would betray her.

I would tell the son and tell him that I will be his witness if he wants to take the father to court. He should be able to sue the father to set up a trust for himself. The father can remarry but the money should all go to the son in that case.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2019 23:09     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. I think it’s wrong too. Maybe tell the son to hire an attorney to represent his interests? I would tell the husband that he isn’t following the wishes of his first wife. It’s wrong and he should know someone knows it.


+1

You should say something
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2019 23:06     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:What the F is the sun not getting? Maybe the man lives to 102 and he spends every damn dime he has seriously if he loves his son if he cares for him if he’s supportive and is a guiding hand you’re worried about if he’s divvying up some gotdern China? The man is now able to find love again and add onto his family, not replace ! WTF, are you smoking crack?
How dare you?
This man lost his wife the sun lost his mother who are you to tell them how they should move on?

sun sun sun
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2019 22:54     Subject: Re:Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:What kind of person demands that their soon-to-be-widowed spouse spent the next 30+ years alone? I don’t know how you can even take that conversation seriously. What was he supposed to do, start a fight with his dying wife about what he would do when she’s dead? Why upset her with the truth when he could let her die in peace?


I think he could get permission from DCUM to remarry but we will need the details.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2019 22:53     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am curious why biological children are so deserving? He is raising three other children as their father but only the biological offspring deserve support?

You wonder why adopted children need to find their "real" parents. They know they are second class.


Do you wAnt your money going to your former H's stepchildren?


I'm dead.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2019 22:43     Subject: Re:Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
What kind of person demands that their soon-to-be-widowed spouse spent the next 30+ years alone? I don’t know how you can even take that conversation seriously. What was he supposed to do, start a fight with his dying wife about what he would do when she’s dead? Why upset her with the truth when he could let her die in peace?
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2019 22:16     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
I agree with you OP. She should have had this listed in her will but she trusted him. I wonder how much life insurance payout he received?

I’m sorry op
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2019 22:14     Subject: Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband
Looks like the merry widower and pregnant girlfriend found this thread.