Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to sound cruel, but the simple truth is he’s not into you. Men don’t make it a secret when they adore a woman and don’t want to lose her. In fact, they make it glaringly obvious. Time for you to forget him and move on.

Ok. So what about the opposite? Someone who says he doesn’t want a relationship but calls me every day? Texts when his plane lands. Offers to send money when I joked about being broke... (He lives out of state, but we spent a week together recently)

He's not that into you either, but he'll smash. A lot of people want relationship benefits without the benefit of the relationship.

We already smashed. Why is he allying me every day? He won’t be back for a couple of months.

He wants all the perks of being in a relationship (companionship, etc.) without the commitment. What a cushy situation for him and ultimately heartbreak for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least you managed five dates. I have been alone for eighteen months now, and despite being a good looking (if not quite beautiful) woman in my late 40s, I have yet to be asked out on a single date by any man. It is a profoundly lonely experience.

I will offer that I have not made any effort to date since my divorce, as my family's and my well being are my priority. Also, I am not online and am referring only to those men that I either already know, meet, or come across in person in real life. And since I do not often socialize in bars, parties, or restaurants, that is admittedly a limited group. But still, you would have thought one of them might ask me out since they either know of my circumstances or can clearly see that I do not wear a wedding band. Of course, some posters will suggest that I do the asking, but if a man is not even attracted enough to ask me out on a date, what is the point?

You have no one but yourself to blame for the situation you've found yourself in.

What am I supposed to do? Openly flirt with, or insinuate myself upon, men who will be up for some 'action' (which, yes, great sex would be nice with the right man) but who otherwise are not particularly or really interested in me. It is clear and obvious that I am single (no wedding band, I openly discuss my situation), I am friendly, approachable, and social, always talking to everyone I come across and going out with friends when asked to join them, and I make a real effort to look good. But what more should I be doing? I would appreciate your advice.

You should be going online. I'll go ahead and believe you are attractive as you claim, in which case you will have almost unlimited options and be in control.

+1. Go online unless you are happy being single. Attractive women online have lots of options.

Anonymous wrote:At least you managed five dates. I have been alone for eighteen months now, and despite being a good looking (if not quite beautiful) woman in my late 40s, I have yet to be asked out on a single date by any man. It is a profoundly lonely experience.

I will offer that I have not made any effort to date since my divorce, as my family's and my well being are my priority. Also, I am not online and am referring only to those men that I either already know, meet, or come across in person in real life. And since I do not often socialize in bars, parties, or restaurants, that is admittedly a limited group. But still, you would have thought one of them might ask me out since they either know of my circumstances or can clearly see that I do not wear a wedding band. Of course, some posters will suggest that I do the asking, but if a man is not even attracted enough to ask me out on a date, what is the point?

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least you managed five dates. I have been alone for eighteen months now, and despite being a good looking (if not quite beautiful) woman in my late 40s, I have yet to be asked out on a single date by any man. It is a profoundly lonely experience.

I will offer that I have not made any effort to date since my divorce, as my family's and my well being are my priority. Also, I am not online and am referring only to those men that I either already know, meet, or come across in person in real life. And since I do not often socialize in bars, parties, or restaurants, that is admittedly a limited group. But still, you would have thought one of them might ask me out since they either know of my circumstances or can clearly see that I do not wear a wedding band. Of course, some posters will suggest that I do the asking, but if a man is not even attracted enough to ask me out on a date, what is the point?

You have no one but yourself to blame for the situation you've found yourself in.

What am I supposed to do? Openly flirt with, or insinuate myself upon, men who will be up for some 'action' (which, yes, great sex would be nice with the right man) but who otherwise are not particularly or really interested in me. It is clear and obvious that I am single (no wedding band, I openly discuss my situation), I am friendly, approachable, and social, always talking to everyone I come across and going out with friends when asked to join them, and I make a real effort to look good. But what more should I be doing? I would appreciate your advice.

You should be going online. I'll go ahead and believe you are attractive as you claim, in which case you will have almost unlimited options and be in control.

Anonymous wrote:Previous poster. I am good looking, though not head-turning beautiful. Fit, BMI 118, good hair, a sweet smile, big eyes, nice clothes, friendly, and approachably nice. I am a bit insecure though, and an introvert. Perhaps that comes across. I am not on any dating sites, however it is clear that I am single as I do not wear a wedding band and I am open about my status. I must just be at that age, late 40s, where you are officially too old to be approached. Also, I do not frequent meetup places like bars because I have no one to go with (most of my friends are married or attached).

Anonymous wrote:Previous poster. I am good looking, though not head-turning beautiful. Fit, BMI 118, good hair, a sweet smile, big eyes, nice clothes, friendly, and approachably nice. I am a bit insecure though, and an introvert. Perhaps that comes across. I am not on any dating sites, however it is clear that I am single as I do not wear a wedding band and I am open about my status. I must just be at that age, late 40s, where you are officially too old to be approached. Also, I do not frequent meetup places like bars because I have no one to go with (most of my friends are married or attached).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least you managed five dates. I have been alone for eighteen months now, and despite being a good looking (if not quite beautiful) woman in my late 40s, I have yet to be asked out on a single date by any man. It is a profoundly lonely experience.

I will offer that I have not made any effort to date since my divorce, as my family's and my well being are my priority. Also, I am not online and am referring only to those men that I either already know, meet, or come across in person in real life. And since I do not often socialize in bars, parties, or restaurants, that is admittedly a limited group. But still, you would have thought one of them might ask me out since they either know of my circumstances or can clearly see that I do not wear a wedding band. Of course, some posters will suggest that I do the asking, but if a man is not even attracted enough to ask me out on a date, what is the point?

You have no one but yourself to blame for the situation you've found yourself in.

What am I supposed to do? Openly flirt with, or insinuate myself upon, men who will be up for some 'action' (which, yes, great sex would be nice with the right man) but who otherwise are not particularly or really interested in me. It is clear and obvious that I am single (no wedding band, I openly discuss my situation), I am friendly, approachable, and social, always talking to everyone I come across and going out with friends when asked to join them, and I make a real effort to look good. But what more should I be doing? I would appreciate your advice.

Anonymous wrote:At least you managed five dates. I have been alone for eighteen months now, and despite being a good looking (if not quite beautiful) woman in my late 40s, I have yet to be asked out on a single date by any man. It is a profoundly lonely experience.

I will offer that I have not made any effort to date since my divorce, as my family's and my well being are my priority. Also, I am not online and am referring only to those men that I either already know, meet, or come across in person in real life. And since I do not often socialize in bars, parties, or restaurants, that is admittedly a limited group. But still, you would have thought one of them might ask me out since they either know of my circumstances or can clearly see that I do not wear a wedding band. Of course, some posters will suggest that I do the asking, but if a man is not even attracted enough to ask me out on a date, what is the point?

But how do the men I know or meet in real life even know if I am online?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least you managed five dates. I have been alone for eighteen months now, and despite being a good looking (if not quite beautiful) woman in my late 40s, I have yet to be asked out on a single date by any man. It is a profoundly lonely experience.

I will offer that I have not made any effort to date since my divorce, as my family's and my well being are my priority. Also, I am not online and am referring only to those men that I either already know, meet, or come across in person in real life. And since I do not often socialize in bars, parties, or restaurants, that is admittedly a limited group. But still, you would have thought one of them might ask me out since they either know of my circumstances or can clearly see that I do not wear a wedding band. Of course, some posters will suggest that I do the asking, but if a man is not even attracted enough to ask me out on a date, what is the point?

On line makes it easy for men to date. Men are intimidated to ask real live women out for a date.
Women throw themselves at men on line and in person. Why should a man risk rejection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

You are casually dating. Five dates is not a relationship. He does not owe a reason after 5 dates. Nor do you. He's just not that into you.

Honestly even up to 8 - 10 - 12 dates is casual dating.

Have low expectations. Enjoy the dates. Dating should be light, enjoyable, low pressure. etc.

Five dates is still casually dating, meeting other people, non exclusive etc. He does not owe you any explanation nor would you in the reverse situation

signed, a woman

If you have a minimum of respect for others, you should at least say a few words. I can't stand people who think ghosting is normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

You are casually dating. Five dates is not a relationship. He does not owe a reason after 5 dates. Nor do you. He's just not that into you.

Honestly even up to 8 - 10 - 12 dates is casual dating.

Have low expectations. Enjoy the dates. Dating should be light, enjoyable, low pressure. etc.

Five dates is still casually dating, meeting other people, non exclusive etc. He does not owe you any explanation nor would you in the reverse situation

signed, a woman

If you have a minimum of respect for others, you should at least say a few words. I can't stand people who think ghosting is normal.

Anonymous wrote:At least you managed five dates. I have been alone for eighteen months now, and despite being a good looking (if not quite beautiful) woman in my late 40s, I have yet to be asked out on a single date by any man. It is a profoundly lonely experience.

I will offer that I have not made any effort to date since my divorce, as my family's and my well being are my priority. Also, I am not online and am referring only to those men that I either already know, meet, or come across in person in real life. And since I do not often socialize in bars, parties, or restaurants, that is admittedly a limited group. But still, you would have thought one of them might ask me out since they either know of my circumstances or can clearly see that I do not wear a wedding band. Of course, some posters will suggest that I do the asking, but if a man is not even attracted enough to ask me out on a date, what is the point?