OP -- the years with kids at home are the hardest. I'm 63 and having tons of fun still -- travel a lot, go to movies, read books, work, see friends, and go out to eat. No worries whatsoever...still loving life! Try to adjust your attitude to find fun in the "everyday".

Right now, at this precise moment, you are the youngest you will ever be again. I don’t think it makes much sense to spend any of that time regretting the inevitable.

Anonymous wrote:I don't come from money at all. But my 20s were still carefree and I saved up and traveled. I traveled on a shoestring budget. At one point, I traveled the world for a year on $12000. Backpacks, hostels, local ground transportation - one of the best years of my life.

I get that youth isn't a great time for everyone but for those of us from whom it was, it is easy to miss and hard to realize you will have never have that again.

Doesn't mean the rest of life is awful, just that you look back and realize that you have already had the best season of your life. Lots of other good even great seasons of life but definitely my 20s was the best.

I saved you a year of expenses and quit my job to travel the world for a year in my 40’s. I also did that in my 20’s. It was just as fun. You need to change your mindset.

Late teens/early 20's was not magical for me. So I don't miss it. Each age has its pros and cons. Focus on the positive things at your current age. You can't live in the past.

So comforting to hear that others feel the same way. I'm definitely happy where I am but it's hard not to look back on the carefree days when your time was really YOUR time.

Anonymous wrote:I don't come from money at all. But my 20s were still carefree and I saved up and traveled. I traveled on a shoestring budget. At one point, I traveled the world for a year on $12000. Backpacks, hostels, local ground transportation - one of the best years of my life.

I get that youth isn't a great time for everyone but for those of us from whom it was, it is easy to miss and hard to realize you will have never have that again.

Doesn't mean the rest of life is awful, just that you look back and realize that you have already had the best season of your life. Lots of other good even great seasons of life but definitely my 20s was the best.

Excellent post. This nails it.

Anonymous wrote:I don't come from money at all. But my 20s were still carefree and I saved up and traveled. I traveled on a shoestring budget. At one point, I traveled the world for a year on $12000. Backpacks, hostels, local ground transportation - one of the best years of my life.

That's the only thing I really miss about my 20s - I traveled the world basically for free. I studied abroad for a whole year and then got fellowships for two years after college and then did yet another internship abroad in graduate school. I had stipends the whole time which converted VERY well into local currency. It was great. Now, I still travel, but only once a year and that's stretching my budget/PTO.

But I'm in my early 30s and still as carefree and youthful as my 20s - even moreso, since I'm not so much an emotional basketcase & care less about what others think of me. And I'm neither rich nor do I love my job - I just don't let shit get to me. I'm healthy (and still skinny) and I love my friends and family and manage good work/life balance and live within my means. I check work stress at the door when I clock out. I still love to do the same goofy, silly things I did ten years ago. Except the college-style drinking and partying has been replaced with a casual glass of wine with good friends and neighbors and real conversation. My partner and I don't have kids, so there's that...

I don't come from money at all. But my 20s were still carefree and I saved up and traveled. I traveled on a shoestring budget. At one point, I traveled the world for a year on $12000. Backpacks, hostels, local ground transportation - one of the best years of my life.

I get that youth isn't a great time for everyone but for those of us from whom it was, it is easy to miss and hard to realize you will have never have that again.

Doesn't mean the rest of life is awful, just that you look back and realize that you have already had the best season of your life. Lots of other good even great seasons of life but definitely my 20s was the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a child in my mid-twenties so I’d have some time to do what I wanted after she left home. The care-free life of travel and fun is just around the bend for me.

Yeah, but being care free and traveling isn't anywhere near as fun at 40 as it is at 20. It's a mind-set that just can't come back.

This. It's very different when the whole world is built for single people in their 20's - early 30's to have fun. Everywhere you turn there are people your age having the same collective carefree experience. I hope I still have some wonderful times ahead of me, but I know it will never be like it was when we were all young.

A lot of young people aren't "carefree." I'm not sure why you would assume that. You must come from money.

Anyone who was broke in their early twenties were not gallivanting around the world "carefree."

I am much more carefree now at 38 than I was a decade ago. Know why? Cuz I have the security of several million dollars in the bank now. And the income to enjoy it.

I do not come from money. I did not gallivant around the world. But, there is nothing like being young and having your entire future ahead of you. The possibilities are endless. Having money now is nice. But being young and with no responsibilities beyond yourself is great.

+1. I'm the poster who said the whole world is built for single people in their 20's - early 30's to have fun. This is exactly what I meant. I was on a shoestring budget in my early-mid 20's but we also had so few responsibilities other than going to work. It was a blast and very carefree. Then I started to earn more and had a GREAT time being single and having a decent salary, but no kids yet. Even if I won lotto today and never had to work again, it wouldn't be the same. I love having kids and expect to one day enjoy the empty nester lifestyle, but it's not the same as being young and single.

At 38, you're too old to join that young single lifestyle, and OP and I are older than you are. That's all some of us are reminiscing about.

I think this thread has shown there are two kinds of people, people who appreciated the care free life in their 20s, and those that didn't.

I certainly did not appreciate anything about being in my 20s or even early thirties, constantly striving, no thought of any possibilities other than the next rung - law school, firm, etc.

Now in my 50s and divorced, I wrote earlier about how great things are now with perspective, money, trips, etc.

I can't even imagine how I could have enjoyed my 20s, they were filled with anxiety and being driven (internally).

Anonymous wrote:I’m more financially secure at 39 than in my early 20s, and I was never a big partier, so this is so hard for me to relate to! For me my 20s was busting my butt to get a master’s degree while working full time, all the while with undergrad debt looming. I have a great partner but he was doing the same thing. We certainly couldn’t afford travel. Our parents couldn’t afford to help. Carefree was never a thing.

I had the same sort of young adulthood (no family money, little travel, law school), but it was still awesome. I had every belief that things would work our fine on the career/$ path due to my educational choices, so I was carefree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a child in my mid-twenties so I’d have some time to do what I wanted after she left home. The care-free life of travel and fun is just around the bend for me.

Yeah, but being care free and traveling isn't anywhere near as fun at 40 as it is at 20. It's a mind-set that just can't come back.

This. It's very different when the whole world is built for single people in their 20's - early 30's to have fun. Everywhere you turn there are people your age having the same collective carefree experience. I hope I still have some wonderful times ahead of me, but I know it will never be like it was when we were all young.

A lot of young people aren't "carefree." I'm not sure why you would assume that. You must come from money.

Anyone who was broke in their early twenties were not gallivanting around the world "carefree."

I am much more carefree now at 38 than I was a decade ago. Know why? Cuz I have the security of several million dollars in the bank now. And the income to enjoy it.

I do not come from money. I did not gallivant around the world. But, there is nothing like being young and having your entire future ahead of you. The possibilities are endless. Having money now is nice. But being young and with no responsibilities beyond yourself is great.

I’m more financially secure at 39 than in my early 20s, and I was never a big partier, so this is so hard for me to relate to! For me my 20s was busting my butt to get a master’s degree while working full time, all the while with undergrad debt looming. I have a great partner but he was doing the same thing. We certainly couldn’t afford travel. Our parents couldn’t afford to help. Carefree was never a thing.

I am just a couple of years younger than you OP and feel the same way. It is I my very recently that I really miss my youth. My 20s were amazing years. Sure they has their issues too but overall it was a great time.

I was watching a reality tv show of mostly 20 something's the other day and it really made me feel old to reliaze that was me twenty years ago. I just really felt my age. I am still working to figure out how best to enjoy the next stage if life. It just feels heavy now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a child in my mid-twenties so I’d have some time to do what I wanted after she left home. The care-free life of travel and fun is just around the bend for me.

Yeah, but being care free and traveling isn't anywhere near as fun at 40 as it is at 20. It's a mind-set that just can't come back.

This. It's very different when the whole world is built for single people in their 20's - early 30's to have fun. Everywhere you turn there are people your age having the same collective carefree experience. I hope I still have some wonderful times ahead of me, but I know it will never be like it was when we were all young.

A lot of young people aren't "carefree." I'm not sure why you would assume that. You must come from money.

Anyone who was broke in their early twenties were not gallivanting around the world "carefree."

I am much more carefree now at 38 than I was a decade ago. Know why? Cuz I have the security of several million dollars in the bank now. And the income to enjoy it.