Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is, a few years older than me actually, yet, I’m at the point of intolerance of his immaturity. He refuses life coaches or couples therapy or the like. Now, his immature ways are interfering with raising our son. E.g. I asked my son this evening: what did you do at school today? Dh responds right away: nothing!
in a cheerful manner as if it’s a fun joke. I don't get it. Resentment increasing...

Woman here.. ease up. That was lighthearted. I say the same for my kids as a joke because that's what kids usually say until you poke and prod. Geez.

And I generally agree that men mature much later in life, but that doesn't mean women should be stuck in the muds. C'mon. Have a sense of humor. You can be funny AND mature at the same time.

This wouldn't bother me the first time around, but the seventh or eighth time in a row, it gets old.

IME, men catch up in maturity level in their twenties, then the ones who have midlife crises in their forties revert back to the their college level maturity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No just different priorities.

Yes, and the men's priorities tend to be selfish and immature until they hit a certain age.

Some men, like FIL, remain intolerably selfish at 79. Nothing will change it. DH is a light version.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

LOL that's pretty funny. I find women much more self-centered than men - and they're pretty cold and ruthless about it, too. Anything you did in the past is worth exactly nothing to a woman - it's all about "what can you do for me right now?"

I think in many cases, when there are children involved, the moms tend to be less about their needs and more about the children/family needs (hence they end up as the default parent), but too many men, especially the younger ones, still prioritize their own needs over those of the children/family. Not all, but many do this.

Nah. That's what women like to believe is true, but is not actually true.

To believe this requires the usual female mental accounting: "everything I do counts double, everything he does counts zero, and also I made up a whole bunch of nonsense that didn't even need doing or is totally imaginary ("emotional labor") and give myself credit for that, too. See how selfless I am!"

Ladies and gentlemen... example of a man who doesn't get it - "emotional support" is considered "imaginary" to this bozo, and thinks his little contribution to the family should amount to 10x what it actually is worth.

You PP are a perfect example of an immature male.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seemed to me that where there is a young family, in a lot of cases (including my own to a certain extent), the mom prioritizes the kids' needs, the dad prioritizes the mom's needs, and nobody prioritizes the dad's needs.

Bolded usually is not what is happening. What do you think the mom's needs are, btw? It's easy to guess what the dad's needs are (sex).

LOL!
And I propose a new thread for men only: What DO men want?
[will tell us volumes about immaturity matter]
Cheers

You besides sex? LOL

someone who just gets him without him having to explain what's in his mind even though he has not communicated. Also helps that someone will listen, provides empathy, helps out with the little but important things...oh wait, you're serious?????

sex, sex, food, sex, sex. rinse and repeat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seemed to me that where there is a young family, in a lot of cases (including my own to a certain extent), the mom prioritizes the kids' needs, the dad prioritizes the mom's needs, and nobody prioritizes the dad's needs.

Bolded usually is not what is happening. What do you think the mom's needs are, btw? It's easy to guess what the dad's needs are (sex).

LOL!
And I propose a new thread for men only: What DO men want?
[will tell us volumes about immaturity matter]
Cheers

You besides sex? LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seemed to me that where there is a young family, in a lot of cases (including my own to a certain extent), the mom prioritizes the kids' needs, the dad prioritizes the mom's needs, and nobody prioritizes the dad's needs.

Bolded usually is not what is happening. What do you think the mom's needs are, btw? It's easy to guess what the dad's needs are (sex).

LOL!
And I propose a new thread for men only: What DO men want?
[will tell us volumes about immaturity matter]
Cheers

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

LOL that's pretty funny. I find women much more self-centered than men - and they're pretty cold and ruthless about it, too. Anything you did in the past is worth exactly nothing to a woman - it's all about "what can you do for me right now?"

I think in many cases, when there are children involved, the moms tend to be less about their needs and more about the children/family needs (hence they end up as the default parent), but too many men, especially the younger ones, still prioritize their own needs over those of the children/family. Not all, but many do this.

Nah. That's what women like to believe is true, but is not actually true.

To believe this requires the usual female mental accounting: "everything I do counts double, everything he does counts zero, and also I made up a whole bunch of nonsense that didn't even need doing or is totally imaginary ("emotional labor") and give myself credit for that, too. See how selfless I am!"

I actually try to multiply what good he does by ten and imagine all kinds of scenarios where it could have been worse. E.g. there is no physical abuse so thanks heavens for that! Still b.s. piles up, and that’s due to immaturity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do find men much more individualistic and self centered than women.

LOL that's pretty funny. I find women much more self-centered than men - and they're pretty cold and ruthless about it, too. Anything you did in the past is worth exactly nothing to a woman - it's all about "what can you do for me right now?"

I think in many cases, when there are children involved, the moms tend to be less about their needs and more about the children/family needs (hence they end up as the default parent), but too many men, especially the younger ones, still prioritize their own needs over those of the children/family. Not all, but many do this.

Nah. That's what women like to believe is true, but is not actually true.

To believe this requires the usual female mental accounting: "everything I do counts double, everything he does counts zero, and also I made up a whole bunch of nonsense that didn't even need doing or is totally imaginary ("emotional labor") and give myself credit for that, too. See how selfless I am!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seemed to me that where there is a young family, in a lot of cases (including my own to a certain extent), the mom prioritizes the kids' needs, the dad prioritizes the mom's needs, and nobody prioritizes the dad's needs.

Bolded usually is not what is happening. What do you think the mom's needs are, btw? It's easy to guess what the dad's needs are (sex).

+1

+1
Most moms are selfless. Most dads are me, me, me, I, I, I.

Anonymous wrote:Do you think men are more immature than women of the same age more often than not?

They either have common sense or don’t. Stick with the former.

They either put in effort in all they do or are lazy. Stick with the former.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seemed to me that where there is a young family, in a lot of cases (including my own to a certain extent), the mom prioritizes the kids' needs, the dad prioritizes the mom's needs, and nobody prioritizes the dad's needs.

Bolded usually is not what is happening. What do you think the mom's needs are, btw? It's easy to guess what the dad's needs are (sex).

+1

Anonymous wrote:For many guys who were in fraternities it takes many years to outgrow the frat boy MO. Otherwise most decent guys seem to get their act together by their mid to late 20's.

I feel like this is kind of BS. Ok maybe if we are talking about Greek life at those massive schools like Michigan, Bama, Penn state, basically the big SEC or acc type school yes. But I think this bro is a charicature of the Greek men , and probably a minority. Tons of nerdy/small schools have Greek. Plenty of dorky engineers you know we're Greek.

If you go out on a sat night to a bar, late 20 somethings are all out living that extended adolescence, pretty much all of them. Women too.

Anonymous wrote:Seemed to me that where there is a young family, in a lot of cases (including my own to a certain extent), the mom prioritizes the kids' needs, the dad prioritizes the mom's needs, and nobody prioritizes the dad's needs.

Bolded usually is not what is happening. What do you think the mom's needs are, btw? It's easy to guess what the dad's needs are (sex).