Anonymous
Post 09/10/2019 08:41     Subject: Re:Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Anonymous wrote:Another in the floored category for people who have never gotten a babysitter. You haven't been on a date since your kids were born? You've never done something just alone with your spouse outside of the house? This is crazy town to me. Just completely insane. Sorry - calling it like I see it.


My husband and I rarely went on dates before we had kids. Things haven't changed much other than we are a lot more tired.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2019 08:08     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Anonymous wrote:We never had a paid babysitter. My in laws live close and I stayed at home until my kids were school. It wasn’t an issue of trust as much as there wasn’t much need - or much disposable income. The grandparents watched the kids for the odd school activity or other such thing and we generally did family rather than couple things until the kids were old enough to stay alone. Now the kids are in high school/college and we get out a lot.


This, I get. If you have free family options, of course, use them.

It's "I don't trust anyone but family" people who I find deranged, and likely to screw up their kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2019 07:48     Subject: Re:Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny for the weekdays, but no desire for a weekend babysitter. Our weekends are centered around the kids and we are not fancy enough to be invited to adults-only parties - all of our invites are for the whole family. Grandparents visit about once a month so we plan date nights around that.

OP, your sister appears to be selfish and ridiculous, but I think the fact that she is willing to pay to switch your mom’s flight indicates how important this party is to her and how much she hates the idea of using a babysitter. Unless the plans you made are important as well, I would let it go for the sake of family peace.


+100 (last paragraph)

OP- to add, you sound jealous and resentful that your sister has free childcare, so easily accessible to boot, and this saga is the icing on the cake. There's probably a sliver of sadness inside of you, too, knowing your mom is much closer with your sister/grandkids since she's sees them a lot more.



Wtf? This pp and in some degree, the first one quoted as well, are ridiculous. OP should NOT have to cancel her plans just because sister only wants grandma to sit. This is absolutely hilarious.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 23:50     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
We never had a paid babysitter. My in laws live close and I stayed at home until my kids were school. It wasn’t an issue of trust as much as there wasn’t much need - or much disposable income. The grandparents watched the kids for the odd school activity or other such thing and we generally did family rather than couple things until the kids were old enough to stay alone. Now the kids are in high school/college and we get out a lot.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 23:26     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
We've never had a non- family member watch the kids. There has never been a need. We work opposite schedules, family is around or kids were too old.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 22:19     Subject: Re:Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Only one time out of necessity I’m a single dad with split custody who doesn’t have family nearby so when my kids are with me, I want to spend the time with them since that time is already cut in half. Also, being a guy I will say I’m more aware of not wanting to be in an uncomfortable situation (for me or her) with a younger female babysitter so that contributes as well.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 20:32     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
We’ve had mothers helpers but never a babysitter. We do have, though, frequent family visitors. Most stay several days and we can take a night out on our own during those visits.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 20:19     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
I guess if someone wants only family for sitters then that's their choice, but then you have to live with the consequences of that and not expect that small group of people (or in OP's sister's case, ONE SINGLE PERSON) to drop everything to prioritize your childcare. You don't get to have it both ways.

OP, I didn't read all of the pages of the thread, but I really hope your mom shuts this down. Your BIL is having emergency surgery, sure - change a flight. Your sister wants to go to a birthday party and thinks that her plans matter more than everyone else's? Ummmm... NO.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 20:05     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
I was happy not to have babysitters for my kids. I do not trust anyone other than my family. People can do what they want for their own kids and I don't care.

Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 19:34     Subject: Re:Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Anonymous wrote:Another in the floored category for people who have never gotten a babysitter. You haven't been on a date since your kids were born? You've never done something just alone with your spouse outside of the house? This is crazy town to me. Just completely insane. Sorry - calling it like I see it.


If you have a lot of family close by who are willing to babysit, it's not surprising to me that you wouldn't hire a sitter (paid sitters are expensive! I'd be happy to have grandma sit instead). That doesn't mean the parents never do something with their spouse without the kids. But I agree if you don't have family and just completely organize your life so you never leave your children with anyone but the parents, that sounds crazy and I'd assume you have some anxiety disorder.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 19:04     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
We never had a sitter until my son was 4 and my daughter was 2. We had no family and had moved two times so we were new when both of the kids were newly born and there was really no one we felt we could trust. Was it hard, sure, but my grandmother raised 4 kids on a farm in a house with no running water for most of the time the kids were young and never got more than an afternoon off because they had to take care of the livestock so comparatively not very hard. Perspective is a gift.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 18:28     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Nobody flies in family from out of state to watch the kids while they get a dental cleaning. People who fly family in from out of state are doing so because they are going somewhere and are planning to stay overnight. They're probably going out of town.

Who would fly in their parents to watch their kids while they attend a party? You either get a sitter or you don't go.

Is this an awards ceremony for work or something?
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 17:13     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Anonymous wrote:If we had family nearby that was willing to watch our kids I am sure we would also never hire a babysitter. So that doesn't sound too crazy. However, expecting family/free child care to change plans to accommodate you is insane. She needs to either hire a sitter or miss the party.


Agree. This is so self-centered it's mind-boggling.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 17:06     Subject: Re:Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
Another in the floored category for people who have never gotten a babysitter. You haven't been on a date since your kids were born? You've never done something just alone with your spouse outside of the house? This is crazy town to me. Just completely insane. Sorry - calling it like I see it.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2019 16:00     Subject: Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
If we had family nearby that was willing to watch our kids I am sure we would also never hire a babysitter. So that doesn't sound too crazy. However, expecting family/free child care to change plans to accommodate you is insane. She needs to either hire a sitter or miss the party.