Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These stories are cute, but you didn’t lose a baby.

What do you gain by saying something rude like this? Some people believe that a miscarriage is losing a baby. What in the universe do you gain by belittling their feelings of grief?

I think that the mean post (the "these stories are cute" one) is directed at the posters posting cute stories who didn't lose babies.

Ohhhh that makes way more sense. I thought some troll was trying to start the good old "a miscarriage is not losing a BABY" argument which seemed a little unneccessary. But what you said makes way more sense

Yeah, it was an unclear post. And kinda mean

I get the message. Don’t think it was mean

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These stories are cute, but you didn’t lose a baby.

What do you gain by saying something rude like this? Some people believe that a miscarriage is losing a baby. What in the universe do you gain by belittling their feelings of grief?

I think that the mean post (the "these stories are cute" one) is directed at the posters posting cute stories who didn't lose babies.

Ohhhh that makes way more sense. I thought some troll was trying to start the good old "a miscarriage is not losing a BABY" argument which seemed a little unneccessary. But what you said makes way more sense

Yeah, it was an unclear post. And kinda mean

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These stories are cute, but you didn’t lose a baby.

What do you gain by saying something rude like this? Some people believe that a miscarriage is losing a baby. What in the universe do you gain by belittling their feelings of grief?

I think that the mean post (the "these stories are cute" one) is directed at the posters posting cute stories who didn't lose babies.

Ohhhh that makes way more sense. I thought some troll was trying to start the good old "a miscarriage is not losing a BABY" argument which seemed a little unneccessary. But what you said makes way more sense

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These stories are cute, but you didn’t lose a baby.

What do you gain by saying something rude like this? Some people believe that a miscarriage is losing a baby. What in the universe do you gain by belittling their feelings of grief?

I think that the mean post (the "these stories are cute" one) is directed at the posters posting cute stories who didn't lose babies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was (obviously) pregnant with my first, a small, middle-aged woman approached me outside of a grocery store entrance and, smiling kindly and without asking permission, gently placed her hands on my stomach and softly recited what I assume (hope?) was a prayer in a language that I didn’t understand.

It was a bit strange (and of course, inappropriate for her to have taken that liberty), but I tried not to let it upset me.

And my first-born is a delightful, healthy, sweet child, so maybe it was a nice little prayer.

I mean, cool, but that has absolutely nothing to do with this thread, so shut up ?

'

What is wrong with you, pp??

Anonymous wrote:These stories are cute, but you didn’t lose a baby.

What do you gain by saying something rude like this? Some people believe that a miscarriage is losing a baby. What in the universe do you gain by belittling their feelings of grief?

Anonymous wrote:When I was (obviously) pregnant with my first, a small, middle-aged woman approached me outside of a grocery store entrance and, smiling kindly and without asking permission, gently placed her hands on my stomach and softly recited what I assume (hope?) was a prayer in a language that I didn’t understand.

It was a bit strange (and of course, inappropriate for her to have taken that liberty), but I tried not to let it upset me.

And my first-born is a delightful, healthy, sweet child, so maybe it was a nice little prayer.

That actually sounds kind of sweet (spoken by someone who would have, in reality, been completely in "WTF?" mode if it had happened to me in real life)

Anonymous wrote:It is extremely rude. Even if a woman is clearly in her third trimester, I wait until she brings it up or will say “how are you feeling?” To let her get into it. Never assume.

This. I know someone who had a fetal demise at 37 weeks (umbilical cord accident). She, of course, delivered (via c section under general anesthesia- her choice) the stillborn baby later that day after hearing the awful news at her OB appointment. But then guess what? She looked super post partum for a few weeks after that, because she WAS post partum. And i have no idea if anyone ever said "oh, expecting a baby??" to her when she was walking around with the post partum belly (which as we know makes you look about 5 months pregnant for a few weeks ) but if they did I can only imagine the absolute sadness she'd have felt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:P.S. other cultures aren’t as touchy as us about these things and have different standards. So if the woman was not an American, that’s something else to consider.

I’ve worked as a midwife all over the world. Women do grieve baby losses. They are just silenced. And they tell me

I’m the poster you quoted. That’s not what I meant. What I meant was, there are different norms in other cultures with respect to the idea of approaching a stranger and commenting on what you assume is her pregnancy. I could see what happened to the OP happening to me in my husband’s home country. There are just different ideas about what is acceptable.

Which America are you referring to? Because in Latin America where I work as a midwife this would not be ok. In the United States, also. Otvok

I'm the poster of the original quote. I did not/am not referring to any particular America. I am just saying that perhaps in other cultures, what the woman did would not be considered so outrageous. In my husband's country (which I don't feel like comfortable naming, and it isn't germane anyway), I could totally see someone doing this, and people (in general) would not be aghast. Other countries aren't as hyperaware about and sensitive to things like this as we are here in the U.S.

I remember when my firstborn was a baby, in my husband's country, a stranger approached us on the street smiling broadly and cooing at my baby and actually took her from my arms and lifted her up in the air in delight. He gave her right back, but I was horrified (and I froze in disbelief, it just happened so fast, I didn't react, I was unsure about what to do) but my DH and in-laws were all looking on and smiling, as if it were not a big deal that this strange man was so admiring of my baby and had actually just come up to us and taken her out of my arms (without asking!) for a moment. That would (almost) never happen in the U.S.

I'm just saying, the lady in the OP's example had good and innocent intentions, even if what she said was dumb. And I think that we should cut people slack in those situations, moreso if they're from a different culture and/or a different generation. I would sure want someone to do the same for me. Lord knows I've unknowingly offended people tons of times, despite my best intentions. We all have, as a previous poster said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:P.S. other cultures aren’t as touchy as us about these things and have different standards. So if the woman was not an American, that’s something else to consider.

I’ve worked as a midwife all over the world. Women do grieve baby losses. They are just silenced. And they tell me

I’m the poster you quoted. That’s not what I meant. What I meant was, there are different norms in other cultures with respect to the idea of approaching a stranger and commenting on what you assume is her pregnancy. I could see what happened to the OP happening to me in my husband’s home country. There are just different ideas about what is acceptable.

Which America are you referring to? Because in Latin America where I work as a midwife this would not be ok. In the United States, also. Otvok

^^^We live in a place o many many cultures. All you Dems are supposed to understand that. She was doing what was normal in her culture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was (obviously) pregnant with my first, a small, middle-aged woman approached me outside of a grocery store entrance and, smiling kindly and without asking permission, gently placed her hands on my stomach and softly recited what I assume (hope?) was a prayer in a language that I didn’t understand.

It was a bit strange (and of course, inappropriate for her to have taken that liberty), but I tried not to let it upset me.

And my first-born is a delightful, healthy, sweet child, so maybe it was a nice little prayer.

I mean, cool, but that has absolutely nothing to do with this thread, so shut up ?

That’s really mean.

Anonymous wrote:When I was (obviously) pregnant with my first, a small, middle-aged woman approached me outside of a grocery store entrance and, smiling kindly and without asking permission, gently placed her hands on my stomach and softly recited what I assume (hope?) was a prayer in a language that I didn’t understand.

It was a bit strange (and of course, inappropriate for her to have taken that liberty), but I tried not to let it upset me.

And my first-born is a delightful, healthy, sweet child, so maybe it was a nice little prayer.

I mean, cool, but that has absolutely nothing to do with this thread, so shut up ?