Anonymous wrote:What are the kids who major in English like?

Lazy, entitled.

Anonymous wrote:I find English majors to be smarter than “x,y, or z Studies” majors and especially Communications majors. That being said, there’s no denying that English majors make less then many other majors statistically. A lot of these successful English majors may be outliers.

We are in DC, after all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, don't major in anything that has you read a bunch of "books" and learn to "write" and get "smarter". What a waste of time! That's why very few colleges offer English degrees.

Better to learn some pre-professional trade because that's exactly what you will do the rest of your life. Studies show nearly 100% of people work in the field they get their degree in.

Almost every US college offers a degree in English. It's a cheap major for schools to offer. They need the English faculty to offer freshman composition and freshman literature, so it's not much to tack on a major course to their offerings. If they add a grad program in English, they can offer many sections of freshman comp/freshman lit at a low cost.

You have missed the class that covered sarcasm.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, don't major in anything that has you read a bunch of "books" and learn to "write" and get "smarter". What a waste of time! That's why very few colleges offer English degrees.

Better to learn some pre-professional trade because that's exactly what you will do the rest of your life. Studies show nearly 100% of people work in the field they get their degree in.

Almost every US college offers a degree in English. It's a cheap major for schools to offer. They need the English faculty to offer freshman composition and freshman literature, so it's not much to tack on a major course to their offerings. If they add a grad program in English, they can offer many sections of freshman comp/freshman lit at a low cost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good god, that’s enough you English majors. We are happy for you that you CAN write. No need to be so defensive. You guys sound obx!

-dp

(English major enters stage left, picks up her iPad and squints)

Do us a favor and translate. In simple, clear English. What are you trying to convey? Sarcasm? What is obx? An abbreviation for obnoxious?

I do hope you are not one of my employees as you are a bumbling, incoherent fool. Pack up your Xerox box. Today's your last day.

And sadly you are not funny. Gives us something that “bites.” Don’t be lame. After all you were an English major right? Give it your best shot idiot!

We are, collectively, dumb as a box of rocks! The secret has been revealed! So we aced the VSAT. We tested out of freshman English 101. We tutored our college athletes in reading. We are entranced by words, language, meaning, voice, symbolism, nuance...

But yes, we are all considered stupid.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/820119.page#15473888

This one isn't.

I find English majors to be smarter than “x,y, or z Studies” majors and especially Communications majors. That being said, there’s no denying that English majors make less then many other majors statistically. A lot of these successful English majors may be outliers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good god, that’s enough you English majors. We are happy for you that you CAN write. No need to be so defensive. You guys sound obx!

-dp

(English major enters stage left, picks up her iPad and squints)

Do us a favor and translate. In simple, clear English. What are you trying to convey? Sarcasm? What is obx? An abbreviation for obnoxious?

I do hope you are not one of my employees as you are a bumbling, incoherent fool. Pack up your Xerox box. Today's your last day.

What a dumba$$. Go check on the fries. Nobody likes overcooked fries.

Anonymous wrote:Good god, that’s enough you English majors. We are happy for you that you CAN write. No need to be so defensive. You guys sound obx!

-dp

(English major enters stage left, picks up her iPad and squints)

Do us a favor and translate. In simple, clear English. What are you trying to convey? Sarcasm? What is obx? An abbreviation for obnoxious?

I do hope you are not one of my employees as you are a bumbling, incoherent fool. Pack up your Xerox box. Today's your last day.

Anonymous wrote:Smart maybe, but not employable.

Oh, aren't you precious.

- CEO, Association - BA, English

Good god, that’s enough you English majors. We are happy for you that you CAN write. No need to be so defensive. You guys sound obx!

-dp

English majors, unite! Let's take a stand in our workplaces!

Refuse to review your colleague's resume! Insist that you can't possibly edit the engineering study for readability. That contract that is about to be submitted? Yes, it's rife with errors, but you are not to get involved.

The new associate being interviewed right now? Make yourself scarce! Let your boss cringe at her incorrect verb tenses, her inability to form a coherent thought and inappropriate slang peppering her speech.

Also, all research will cease immediately. My fellow English majors, I'm sending you a semi-coded message here. You know what I mean. No delving into new topics just because you are interested and/or want to learn more for yourself. No. Stop it. You will stab blindly through meeting after meeting, endure involved project discussions and even hear your supervisor mention the same set of phrases that are oddly familiar yet just out of reach to you but you must resist. This is critical; no light reading on the subject, no finding related sources, no connections or nuances are allowed to be found.

Put your reading glasses aside. There will be no "cleaning up" or "editing for content" (just this once, he says) anymore. Turn off the lights and unplug, English majors!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^This English major is married to a cyber nerd, so unfortunately your vague allusion doesn't go over my head as much as you thought it might. I would still rather be able to make a reasoned argument than to rely on false dichotomies and incurious thinking if those are the results of programming all day.

Humanities major here.

I can confirm that people who can write for loops are indeed very valuable. That's why I have many of them working for me.

Did I say they were not valuable? Honest to goodness. People here do not seem able to respond to what is actually written. Instead, you make up things.

NP (and English major) here - you did not see the lovely burn in the prior sentence. Usually graduating with a degree in English does help with the reading comprehension. That certainly helps in life and may make one seem smarter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^This English major is married to a cyber nerd, so unfortunately your vague allusion doesn't go over my head as much as you thought it might. I would still rather be able to make a reasoned argument than to rely on false dichotomies and incurious thinking if those are the results of programming all day.

Humanities major here.

I can confirm that people who can write for loops are indeed very valuable. That's why I have many of them working for me.

Did I say they were not valuable? Honest to goodness. People here do not seem able to respond to what is actually written. Instead, you make up things.

I think you missed the class that covered irony.