Anonymous wrote:These are a few things I believe, regardless of the genders of the parents:

-- No parent should have all the downtime while the other has none.
-- But, being home with a baby is more draining than working (at least in the vast majority of cases) which means the parent home with the baby should get more than a 50-50 share of the downtime, and it's especially important that they get some of it soon after the other parent gets home. This does NOT, however, mean that the parent caring for the baby during the day gets the whole evening off.
-- Doing more of the nighttime wakeups also adds to the downtime that the waking-up parent "deserves."
-- So do any kind of medical issues either parent is dealing with, especially PPD.
-- Downtime during naps mostly counts as downtime, but it's not as restorative as when there's another parent around on kid duty. It takes a little time just to decompress from baby-care, and then unless your kid is a really predictable and long napper, there's always the anxiety that the baby could wake up at any minute. So it's kind of like partial-credit downtime.
-- Both parents should value the other person's downtime and wellbeing as much as their own, and look for family decisions that can maximize the total amount of downtime available (i.e. a housekeeper or lowering standards on housekeeping, buying a new dishwasher or more sets of bottles and pump parts so they have to be washed less often, etc.)

In your case I think that means your husband should definitely do a lot amount more (especially given the PPD, the night wakeups, and the fact that it sounds like he didn't follow these rules when you were home and he was working.) If it wasn't for the PPD and the night wakeups, I'd probably say he should do a little more but you should still take on the majority. And regardless, you both should take ownership of thinking of every single way you can minimize the amount of time the chores take, period.