Can the 8 year old go to camp, or something? I think you're wonder woman.

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are the perfectly wrong ages for making this work - one who can’t swim at all, one who needs to be watched closely in the big pool, and one who is in big-kid zone. You’re not doing anything wrong - it’s just the stage you are in.

If you want this to work this summer, get a young mother’s helper to hold the baby or take the 4 year old into the big pool. Next summer might be better if you can get the four year old to be an excellent swimmer by then but most likely you have a couple years before the pool thing is easy. Once you get there, it’s great, but your kids aren’t that age yet.

I would actually hire one if the lifeguards to teach my older two how to swim while I held the baby

I have three kids (now ages 11, 8, and 2), and our time at the pool is still pretty stressful! The older two are very strong swimmers, but I still have to keep an eye on them to make sure they’re not being dangerous (jumping/dunking/running). And then I have a wild toddler who is not afraid of anything. I’m some ways, it was almost easier when he was a baby!

If your 4 YO still isn’t a strong swimmer, put her in the Puddle Jumper when you are alone at the pool with the kids. You still need to keep a close eye on her, but it is an added level of safety. You should also sign her/him up for a weeklong boot camp swim class this summer. These classes teach the child how to return to the wall/flip on his/her back.

When you are alone with the three kids, stick to the shallow end (2 feet). Tell your 8 YO that on these days, he/she needs to stay in this area. No deep end/diving boards. If the child doesn’t listen, you go home.

Bring snacks/water for breaks. And each child brings one toy so that you’re not looking for stuff at the end of the day when you’re tired and the baby is crying! Bring your older child to the pool in the evening or during the weekend so he/she has time to do the big kid things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything is crappy and hard with kids with your age span. I mean I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Your 8 yo can do fun stuff for longer periods of time and your 4 yo is getting there but you’ve got a 5 month old dragging everyone down and your schedule is largely dictated by the fact you have an infant.

This.
Your vision of pool afternoons every day isn’t going to happen.

This is why most people don’t want three kids. It’s YEARS of work.

Anonymous wrote:Everything is crappy and hard with kids with your age span. I mean I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Your 8 yo can do fun stuff for longer periods of time and your 4 yo is getting there but you’ve got a 5 month old dragging everyone down and your schedule is largely dictated by the fact you have an infant.

This.
Your vision of pool afternoons every day isn’t going to happen.

Too young, stay for short time. Why on earth would you torture yourself and the kids staying in the sun that long?

We did not join a pool until both of my kids were swimming somewhat independently. Before that we only went to the public pool ( pay as you go) on the weekends. Your kids are at really hard ages to go without a second parent/adult. One to focus on the baby and one to focus on the older two.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that the people who make this work at my pool...with kids your ages...are simply not watching their children closely. You are a good mom and your exhaustion proves this.

This.

This actually kind of made me tear up haha. I'm not even OP.

Am I the only who finds this horrifying? I understand there is some specific context here but isn't this everything that's wrong with modern expectations of motherhood? Exhaustion proves that you're a good mother?

Np. I don’t think you can divorce the statement from the context. Op has a 5 mo and a 4 yo in addition to her older child. Even if the older one can swim independently, she has two kids who can’t, one of whom pretty much needs to be held the entire time unless he’s napping in the stroller. At these ages, adequate supervision while swimming does mean constant active supervision, which is tiring. It if you do it right at these ages, once the younger kids have reached the age where they can swim independently, your reward for all of that work earlier is that you get to be a book by the side of the pool mom, which is not tiring.

+1. I get the frustration with the concept that exhaustion = motherhood in general, but when three young kids are around water, it's simply a fact. An attentive parent will be tired after a situation like this, full stop.

Anonymous wrote:Huh? There is nothing wrong with going to the pool for only an hour or two! Why are you putting yourself under pressure to stay for longer?

Plus 1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that the people who make this work at my pool...with kids your ages...are simply not watching their children closely. You are a good mom and your exhaustion proves this.

This.

This actually kind of made me tear up haha. I'm not even OP.

Am I the only who finds this horrifying? I understand there is some specific context here but isn't this everything that's wrong with modern expectations of motherhood? Exhaustion proves that you're a good mother?

Np. I don’t think you can divorce the statement from the context. Op has a 5 mo and a 4 yo in addition to her older child. Even if the older one can swim independently, she has two kids who can’t, one of whom pretty much needs to be held the entire time unless he’s napping in the stroller. At these ages, adequate supervision while swimming does mean constant active supervision, which is tiring. It if you do it right at these ages, once the younger kids have reached the age where they can swim independently, your reward for all of that work earlier is that you get to be a book by the side of the pool mom, which is not tiring.

Your kids are the perfectly wrong ages for making this work - one who can’t swim at all, one who needs to be watched closely in the big pool, and one who is in big-kid zone. You’re not doing anything wrong - it’s just the stage you are in.

If you want this to work this summer, get a young mother’s helper to hold the baby or take the 4 year old into the big pool. Next summer might be better if you can get the four year old to be an excellent swimmer by then but most likely you have a couple years before the pool thing is easy. Once you get there, it’s great, but your kids aren’t that age yet.

OP, I have a 4YO and 8YO and it can be tough so adding an infant is super tricky, yeah. But remember how fast they grow... next summer will be different
Put the two older in swim lessons, definitely. I kinda keep an eye on my 8YO but she is a very good swimmer and cautious by nature. If she has a friend with her, we keep a much closer eye and frankly we do not invite friends for swimming playdates unless we KNOW they are good swimmers also.
Sit in the baby pool with the 4YO and baby as long as possible.
TBH, the summer that I had a 4YO and infant I got a backyard kiddie pool and we spent more time there vs at the neighborhood pool. Get the baby down for a nap and take the monitor out with you - gives you some good time with the older kids. Get them some buckets and squirt guns and bubbles!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that the people who make this work at my pool...with kids your ages...are simply not watching their children closely. You are a good mom and your exhaustion proves this.

This.

This actually kind of made me tear up haha. I'm not even OP.

Am I the only who finds this horrifying? I understand there is some specific context here but isn't this everything that's wrong with modern expectations of motherhood? Exhaustion proves that you're a good mother?

Yeah god forbid you put your kids in swim lessons so by the time they’re 8 you can actually sit in a chair and read a book while they swim. Bad crappy mom.

Everything is crappy and hard with kids with your age span. I mean I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Your 8 yo can do fun stuff for longer periods of time and your 4 yo is getting there but you’ve got a 5 month old dragging everyone down and your schedule is largely dictated by the fact you have an infant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that the people who make this work at my pool...with kids your ages...are simply not watching their children closely. You are a good mom and your exhaustion proves this.

This.

This actually kind of made me tear up haha. I'm not even OP.

THIS! And the sun tan lotion.