Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

Well I was in a “top” sorority at a super nerdy engineering school in the Midwest and all of this rings true to my experience. I made it through knowing nothing and not having any sisters, aunts or a mom who were Greek. I would have loved to have this solid advice.

Clearly, some don't like my post. Okay. My only point is some houses have their lists are created before rush by the alumni. If they need filler girls, they'll take a look and if, as a previous poster noted, you cross all your ts and dot your Is your daughter will be considered as space allows. One thing parents of alumni told me over and over was a high GPA and connections were essential. And, yes, our DC in this area are lucky to have highly honed social skills by the time they go to rush: they aren't going to discuss controversial topics. Our family, relatives, and friends provided us with enough information so, by the time we spoke to a stranger, the advice seemed obvious and we knew the "truth" of filler girls from OOS with poor outcomes.

We purchased all the proper clothes for each round, makeup, jewelry, etc ahead of time so, she was fine and landed in the house she wanted. She was blessed with the assistance of relatives and advice of any out of state parents who warned me of SEC pitfalls since I was in a house in the North without ties to the school my DC attends.

To the PP who got in a top house at their school,without connections: good for you! The houses I am referring to would never, ever accept an unknown. They don't have to when thousands are rushing.

Goodness, you and I would never run in the same social circles. Anyone who refers to any young women as "fillers" reeks of striver/undereducated/quasi-pageant mom. I'm glad your ability follow the insane "rules" that promote complete abandonment of ones individuality got your dd into a "top house" but again, this is for a class of people with whom my life will never intersect, thankfully.

1) Ha! What a disconnect. I didn't make up the term "filler" (It is gross) and I encouraged my DC to AVOID those houses that don't even pretend to empower their fellow sisters. My advice meant next to nothing during formal rush as those who have been through it may understand.
2) Striver? Cold. Undereducated? Colder. And pageant mom? Coldest.
3) My DC rushed. My role ended with shopping and paying fees.
4) How did you perceive she gave up her individuality from my statement? Was it because she rushed at a huge school where she wanted to be involved, have leadership opportunities, be philantrophic, have fun, and be involved on campus? Actually, don't bother.
5) I said she got the house she wanted. I never said top tier. Ever. I have no idea what her house is ranked. It suits her just fine.

And to address the part emboldened: Ruth Ginsberg was in a sorority.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

Well I was in a “top” sorority at a super nerdy engineering school in the Midwest and all of this rings true to my experience. I made it through knowing nothing and not having any sisters, aunts or a mom who were Greek. I would have loved to have this solid advice.

Clearly, some don't like my post. Okay. My only point is some houses have their lists are created before rush by the alumni. If they need filler girls, they'll take a look and if, as a previous poster noted, you cross all your ts and dot your Is your daughter will be considered as space allows. One thing parents of alumni told me over and over was a high GPA and connections were essential. And, yes, our DC in this area are lucky to have highly honed social skills by the time they go to rush: they aren't going to discuss controversial topics. Our family, relatives, and friends provided us with enough information so, by the time we spoke to a stranger, the advice seemed obvious and we knew the "truth" of filler girls from OOS with poor outcomes.

We purchased all the proper clothes for each round, makeup, jewelry, etc ahead of time so, she was fine and landed in the house she wanted. She was blessed with the assistance of relatives and advice of any out of state parents who warned me of SEC pitfalls since I was in a house in the North without ties to the school my DC attends.

To the PP who got in a top house at their school,without connections: good for you! The houses I am referring to would never, ever accept an unknown. They don't have to when thousands are rushing.

Goodness, you and I would never run in the same social circles. Anyone who refers to any young women as "fillers" reeks of striver/undereducated/quasi-pageant mom. I'm glad your ability follow the insane "rules" that promote complete abandonment of ones individuality got your dd into a "top house" but again, this is for a class of people with whom my life will never intersect, thankfully.

Anonymous wrote:The “connections” bit is a myth created by moms who want to believe they still have pull. The truth is that the houses change over the years and current girls don’t care about legacy- they do what they want to do. I know some very socially and politically powerful parents whose daughters attended the same SEC schools they did and who still live nearby. Their girls were cut by their their double legacy in the first round. And they had high GPAs. Moms can groom them all they want but they have zero power to influence the bids beyond preparing them with social skills and a wardrobe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

Well I was in a “top” sorority at a super nerdy engineering school in the Midwest and all of this rings true to my experience. I made it through knowing nothing and not having any sisters, aunts or a mom who were Greek. I would have loved to have this solid advice.

Clearly, some don't like my post. Okay. My only point is some houses have their lists are created before rush by the alumni. If they need filler girls, they'll take a look and if, as a previous poster noted, you cross all your ts and dot your Is your daughter will be considered as space allows. One thing parents of alumni told me over and over was a high GPA and connections were essential. And, yes, our DC in this area are lucky to have highly honed social skills by the time they go to rush: they aren't going to discuss controversial topics. Our family, relatives, and friends provided us with enough information so, by the time we spoke to a stranger, the advice seemed obvious and we knew the "truth" of filler girls from OOS with poor outcomes.

We purchased all the proper clothes for each round, makeup, jewelry, etc ahead of time so, she was fine and landed in the house she wanted. She was blessed with the assistance of relatives and advice of any out of state parents who warned me of SEC pitfalls since I was in a house in the North without ties to the school my DC attends.

To the PP who got in a top house at their school,without connections: good for you! The houses I am referring to would never, ever accept an unknown. They don't have to when thousands are rushing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

Well I was in a “top” sorority at a super nerdy engineering school in the Midwest and all of this rings true to my experience. I made it through knowing nothing and not having any sisters, aunts or a mom who were Greek. I would have loved to have this solid advice.

Clearly, somle don't like my post. Okay. My only point is some houses have their lists are created before rush by the alumni. If they need filler girls, they'll take a look and if, as a previous poster noted, you cross all your ts and dot your Is your daughter will be considered as space allows. One thing parents of alumni told me over and over was a high GPA and connections were essential. And, yes, our DC in this area are lucky to have highly honed social skills by the time they go to rush: they aren't going to discuss controversial topics. Our family, relatives, and friends provided us with enough information so, by the time we spoke to a stranger, the advice seemed obvious and we knew the "truth" of filler girls from OOS with poor outcomes.

We purchased all the proper clothes for each round, makeup, jewelry, etc ahead of time so, she was fine and landed in the house she wanted. She was blessed with the assistance of relatives and advice of any out of state parents who warned me of SEC pitfalls since I was in a house in the North without ties to the school my DC attends.

To the PP who got in a top house at their school,without connections: good for you! The houses I am referring to would never, ever accept an unknown. They don't have to when thousands are rushing.

Anonymous wrote:My wife was in a sorority at Maryland. Is our daughter a shoo-in at the same sororoty wherever she goes, or are her chances better at Maryland?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

Well I was in a “top” sorority at a super nerdy engineering school in the Midwest and all of this rings true to my experience. I made it through knowing nothing and not having any sisters, aunts or a mom who were Greek. I would have loved to have this solid advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

Anonymous wrote:My wife was in a sorority at Maryland. Is our daughter a shoo-in at the same sororoty wherever she goes, or are her chances better at Maryland?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

With as much respect as I can muster, this post might be helpful at some schools but, not others. This advice makes my skin crawl with nightmares of reading mean Greek Rank posts geared towards the pageant mom crowd. My DC went through rush with their dignity intact and found their home not using information from the pearls and prunes crowd.

And I am sure we are all better for it, bless your heart.