Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 17:50     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.


Wait what!? My kids’ school has the same hours for children with working parents as it does for children with a stay at home parent. Your assumptions are astounding(ly foolish).


Except that is not true. A child of working parents generally has before and after care. Also the whole summer.......duh
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 17:49     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.


This 100%
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 17:32     Subject: Re:Why vacation without the kids?
I love our family vacations but once a year a brief couples only vacation is a must for us. We mix it up a lot but it's always something romantic. But we do love getting back to our children.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 17:22     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.


Wait what!? My kids’ school has the same hours for children with working parents as it does for children with a stay at home parent. Your assumptions are astounding(ly foolish).
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 15:51     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.


Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?


Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.


Np here. Wouldn’t your kids be considered grown already?

My youngest is only 2 so we don’t travel without the kids much but we will again.

We go on like 10 trips per year. 7-8 are family vacations. We are on one now. I go on 1-2 girlfriend no kid trips per year and DH does 1-2 friend getaways too like super bowl or golf.

DH has taken older kids on vacation alone while I stayed home with the baby. I’m taking older kids overseas this summer while MIL comes and helps DH with the toddler.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:36     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.


Are you under the impression that the *only* vacation the parents take is without the lids?

(That's ignoring all the other nonsense inherent in your post - I didn't want to get bogged down in that, but also didn't want it to go unrecognized.)


Yikes, this is obviously a sensitive subject for some people.
Enjoy your trip, no need to be so reactive about it.


Don't be a twit - you know full well that "makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place" is designed to get a strong response. You don't get to now act all surprised that you got that response.



Oh, I wasn’t that PP. just responding to the general reactiveness about this subject. Didn’t know it would elicit so many accusations (on both sides).
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:31     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.


Are you under the impression that the *only* vacation the parents take is without the lids?

(That's ignoring all the other nonsense inherent in your post - I didn't want to get bogged down in that, but also didn't want it to go unrecognized.)


Yikes, this is obviously a sensitive subject for some people.
Enjoy your trip, no need to be so reactive about it.


Don't be a twit - you know full well that "makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place" is designed to get a strong response. You don't get to now act all surprised that you got that response.

Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:29     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.


Are you under the impression that the *only* vacation the parents take is without the lids?

(That's ignoring all the other nonsense inherent in your post - I didn't want to get bogged down in that, but also didn't want it to go unrecognized.)


Yikes, this is obviously a sensitive subject for some people.
Enjoy your trip, no need to be so reactive about it.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:25     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.


Are you under the impression that the *only* vacation the parents take is without the lids?

(That's ignoring all the other nonsense inherent in your post - I didn't want to get bogged down in that, but also didn't want it to go unrecognized.)
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:16     Subject: Re:Why vacation without the kids?
My DH and I started doing weekends away after DS turned 1. We found great adult sitters for the weekend. Typically it was only for our anniversary weekend. Later we moved closer to Grandma and New Year's eve sleep over became their thing.

Once my son started going to overnight weekend summer camp that gave us more opportunities.

Like others, sometimes DH takes DS away for the weekend and sometimes I do. Sometimes he goes off with friends or to reunions and sometimes I do.

Being glued to your kid's side constantly is unhealthy.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:14     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:07     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.


Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?


Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.


I see, so parents should only do things apart from their kids with it is necessary? Never just because they want to? Anything that is just a "want" should be delayed?

Also, please explain the selfish to me. DO you think kids need to be with their all the time? Do you think a child is harmed by staying with someone else - a grandparent, friends, another relative - for a week? Seriously, what is the basis for the thought that this is selfish.

It seems like the entire basis for this is that the children are somehow harmed by the parents taking a vacation by themselves. But, no one can describe what that harm is. Can you?


A want that includes leaving kids behind for a week is cruel. I hated when my mom used to leave me to go back to visit her family overseas. And I still had my dad and siblings at home.

Kids need to feel prioritized.


So, you think it is "cruel" to go on vacation without a child because a kid needs to feel "prioritized" at all time.

Frankly, I think that's bananas, and I suspect there are many other issues going on with your family that led you to not feel prioritized. This seems like a lot of projection.

But, regardless, you feel the way you do, and you're free to only go on vacation with your kids. We'll enjoy the periodic adults only vacations.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:04     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.


Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?


Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.


I see, so parents should only do things apart from their kids with it is necessary? Never just because they want to? Anything that is just a "want" should be delayed?

Also, please explain the selfish to me. DO you think kids need to be with their all the time? Do you think a child is harmed by staying with someone else - a grandparent, friends, another relative - for a week? Seriously, what is the basis for the thought that this is selfish.

It seems like the entire basis for this is that the children are somehow harmed by the parents taking a vacation by themselves. But, no one can describe what that harm is. Can you?


A want that includes leaving kids behind for a week is cruel. I hated when my mom used to leave me to go back to visit her family overseas. And I still had my dad and siblings at home.

Kids need to feel prioritized.


That's ridiculous. My parents vacationed without my sister and me and we told them to have fun! They brought us home stuffed animals and we looked over their pictures and we told them about the fun we had while they were gone with the extended family. I absolutely didn't need to be prioritized, and in fact it felt good to know my parents were still in love and wanted alone time.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:02     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.


Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?


Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.


Wow.
You are ugly inside and out.

Anonymous
Post 05/26/2019 14:00     Subject: Why vacation without the kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.


Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?


Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.


I see, so parents should only do things apart from their kids with it is necessary? Never just because they want to? Anything that is just a "want" should be delayed?

Also, please explain the selfish to me. DO you think kids need to be with their all the time? Do you think a child is harmed by staying with someone else - a grandparent, friends, another relative - for a week? Seriously, what is the basis for the thought that this is selfish.

It seems like the entire basis for this is that the children are somehow harmed by the parents taking a vacation by themselves. But, no one can describe what that harm is. Can you?


A want that includes leaving kids behind for a week is cruel. I hated when my mom used to leave me to go back to visit her family overseas. And I still had my dad and siblings at home.

Kids need to feel prioritized.