Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm not mad at my DS, he did nothing wrong. I'm mad at these twins and their entitled parents.I haven't cleaned up the mess because we were busy on saturday, visited family on sunday, and I had to work today. I'm also not using the parents, I just want their kids to apologize. I already know they were raised by wolves and won't pay for the damages, I gave up on that. Oh, and one Bird Survived. It's a hummingbird with a nest.

Of course your son did nothing wrong.

That says it all, doesn’t it?

There was almost an identical post awhile ago - I’m thinking troll. How were books “torn?”

Years ago, while some friends were packing the car to leave, their daughter knocked over a Tiffany lamp and broke it. I didn’t ask for money. It was an accident.

Accidents happen. Sad but true. You are nuts to think you can sue them. Why is your son in the clear?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm not mad at my DS, he did nothing wrong. I'm mad at these twins and their entitled parents.I haven't cleaned up the mess because we were busy on saturday, visited family on sunday, and I had to work today. I'm also not using the parents, I just want their kids to apologize. I already know they were raised by wolves and won't pay for the damages, I gave up on that. Oh, and one Bird Survived. It's a hummingbird with a nest.

Of course your son did nothing wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Well, but you're sort of side-stepping the point of the story, aren't you? And that is that the glass shelving full of Tchotckes (whether you are "against" them or not) should not have been falling to begin with because the 11-year-old boys should know better than to run through someone else's home into an off-limits room while recklessly fighting over a video game controller to the point of knocking over the fragile shelf!

Was it an accident that they knocked over the shelf? Sure...to a degree, of course it was! They didn't go into the room with the intent to pull the shelf to the ground and destroy OPs things. But should they be held responsible for their bad judgment (fighting/struggling over possession of an object with their sibling and running through the house, entering a room they weren't supposed to be in and carelessly jostling each other over control of the remote such that they slammed into shelf and created this mess)--YES!!!

Haven't you ever seen old re-runs of the Brady Bunch? "Mom always says, 'Don't play ball in the house!'" You break it, you buy it! They *should* feel a little traumatized that their rough-housing in someone else's home caused damage! And they should be mortified/embarrassed and feel ashamed enough to offer to pay off the damage. And if they don't feel it...then at the very least their PARENT should feel some sense of remorse on their behalf.

If the shelf had been bolted to the wall, it would not have crashed down. The stuff on it, maybe but not the entire shelf. The kids did not go in intending to break it. And, if the shelf was bolted down or OP was watching the kids it probably would never have happened. If they were fighting over a controller, she should have stepped in.

You have absolutely failed as a parent if you feel the need to bolt shelves to the wall in an off-limits adult room when you have 11 year olds.

Do you realize that some 11 year olds are literally being paid to babysit younger kids while the parent is busy or out of the house for short periods? And by 13 they can do evening babysitting in someone else's home?

Maybe instead of criticizing others, you should try to improve your own parenting. Obviously you need to learn some things.

Anonymous wrote:So sad the generation we are raising. I would have expected you to beat my ass with a belt regardless of who I was. My parents would have made me clean it up and of course apologize. But then again I would have never done anything like that.

That’s horrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

+1

Kids these days are screwed. Actual parenting is such a rare thing now. It's sad.

Or, for all we know OP kid knocked it down and blamed the other kids. She wasn't paying attention at all to the kids and had a glass shelf not secured to the wall with glass on it. Anyone with common sense and younger kids should know to secure it to the wall. OP needs to take a good chunk of the blame. She took responsibility for those kids and let them behave like that. You are right actual parenting is such a rare thing and OP is a good example.

You are truly insufferable.
At what point in your world are 11-year-old boys allowed to play video games in the sons room without the mom hovering over them to make sure they don't go into the room that they all knew they were not to go into? Is taking a bathroom break okay for her? Or do you have playdates where your 11-year-olds all hold hands with you and sit at the kitchen table while you make dinner??? You are literally insane.

At some point, you will need to hold your child responsible for his choices (yes...even the "childhood mistakes" that result in unintended, yet very undesirable outcomes--like knocking over glass shelving!) It may surprise you to learn this, but children even as "young" as 11 can be told "don't do this" (such as "don't go in this room" or "don't run in the house" or "don't fight with your brother") and be expected NOT to do it without constant supervision. And if they make a mistake and do those things anyway (and sometimes they will!), then if it causes damage, they also need to be held responsible for results of those actions. That is how you create responsibility and accountability in young humans.

Our house is kid friendly where none of that would ever be an issue. Big furniture is bolted to the wall. Food/drink only in the dining room. We don't have any restrictions on where they can go in the house and the basement has a camera to see what's going on. Its easy enough to check every 30 minutes and listen in on what they are saying. She should have been supervising better. And, if they are just playing video games they would not be running around the house breaking things. There is much more to this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Well, but you're sort of side-stepping the point of the story, aren't you? And that is that the glass shelving full of Tchotckes (whether you are "against" them or not) should not have been falling to begin with because the 11-year-old boys should know better than to run through someone else's home into an off-limits room while recklessly fighting over a video game controller to the point of knocking over the fragile shelf!

Was it an accident that they knocked over the shelf? Sure...to a degree, of course it was! They didn't go into the room with the intent to pull the shelf to the ground and destroy OPs things. But should they be held responsible for their bad judgment (fighting/struggling over possession of an object with their sibling and running through the house, entering a room they weren't supposed to be in and carelessly jostling each other over control of the remote such that they slammed into shelf and created this mess)--YES!!!

Haven't you ever seen old re-runs of the Brady Bunch? "Mom always says, 'Don't play ball in the house!'" You break it, you buy it! They *should* feel a little traumatized that their rough-housing in someone else's home caused damage! And they should be mortified/embarrassed and feel ashamed enough to offer to pay off the damage. And if they don't feel it...then at the very least their PARENT should feel some sense of remorse on their behalf.

If the shelf had been bolted to the wall, it would not have crashed down. The stuff on it, maybe but not the entire shelf. The kids did not go in intending to break it. And, if the shelf was bolted down or OP was watching the kids it probably would never have happened. If they were fighting over a controller, she should have stepped in.

Yes and if the shelf had been bubble-wrapped, none of this would have happened. In fact, we should really just all make our houses out of legos. It would be so much easier for the children than telling them no and following through with consequences.

One would assume this shelf has been there for some years and common sense would be to have it strapped down regardless of age. She may have told them no, but she didn't supervise, monitor of have any consequences so this was a failure on her part. Basic common sense and prevention goes a long way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

+1, mine is 10 now and we still don't do a lot of glass or anything breakable. I want a kid friendly house where they can be comfortable. And, anything big or tall or heavy is secured to the wall. Even good kids or adults can easily accidentally tip things over. Glass is a disaster waiting to happen.

Tell me truly though, PP, if you--as an adult-- were at OPs home at a cocktail party, and you just accidentally bumped into the glass shelving and it fell to the ground and broke the items that were shelved there, would you shrug and say "you really should have bolted that to the wall" or "wow...that was just an accident waiting to happen!" Or would you, like most reasonable adults, apologize profusely for your mishap and offer to pay for the damage. (My guess is the latter...and I would also venture to guess that OP would then decline your offer and try to make you feel at ease about it b/c it really wasn't anything you were doing that wasn't meant to be done inside a house. e.g., you weren't rough-housing or fighting or running...you just happened to brush against it.) Do you see the difference here??

Because if you don't...well, then...

If it was strapped to the wall, then it probably would not have fallen over and your point proves it should have been strapped down as its very easy to knock some shelving units over, clearly this one was very easy. OP wasn't supervising the kids so its her kid version only.

11 year olds are not expected to act like that. Maybe 4 year olds.

Your kid is in big trouble, too- as he allowed this knowing that room was off limits. Let him know that and, frankly, some sort of consequence is in order. He needs to understand what is appropriate. When I was a kid and had allowed a friend to go into my parents' bedroom or office- I would not be here writing this response. And, as 7 year old, I would have known better. My own kids knew better by the time they had kids over to play. My job is to keep them safe, not to assume they would gravitate beyond any boundary and fight to the extent that they destroy a room in my home. It is outrageous!

You can't expect these other parents to pay up. If they haven't offered, it isn't happening. Your child should know that he cannot invite these kids over again- he knows why. He also needs to know that you expect his behavior in other houses to be upstanding. If nothing else, he learned something here. If he cannot control friends in his house, he doesn't have the privilege to have friends over.

I do not think people have to LOCK rooms when kids have their friends over. They aren't toddlers in need of babyproofing. What is to stop them from taking your liquor or meds in the bathroom? Are you going to lock up everything? What about your drawers? Off limits is off limits. Make sure your kids know what the house rules are when they have guests. When they are teens, you will be involved with a different kind of supervising,but right now it was reasonable to expect that they should not be physically fighting in some kid's parent's office and destroying the place.

Now all of us- go back to the teaching threads where the the teachers try to desribe what it is like to teach kids in today's societal environment. These were two kids in someone else's home, not 24 kids - with entitlements given by their parents.
God help us all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

+1, mine is 10 now and we still don't do a lot of glass or anything breakable. I want a kid friendly house where they can be comfortable. And, anything big or tall or heavy is secured to the wall. Even good kids or adults can easily accidentally tip things over. Glass is a disaster waiting to happen.

Tell me truly though, PP, if you--as an adult-- were at OPs home at a cocktail party, and you just accidentally bumped into the glass shelving and it fell to the ground and broke the items that were shelved there, would you shrug and say "you really should have bolted that to the wall" or "wow...that was just an accident waiting to happen!" Or would you, like most reasonable adults, apologize profusely for your mishap and offer to pay for the damage. (My guess is the latter...and I would also venture to guess that OP would then decline your offer and try to make you feel at ease about it b/c it really wasn't anything you were doing that wasn't meant to be done inside a house. e.g., you weren't rough-housing or fighting or running...you just happened to brush against it.) Do you see the difference here??

Because if you don't...well, then...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Well, but you're sort of side-stepping the point of the story, aren't you? And that is that the glass shelving full of Tchotckes (whether you are "against" them or not) should not have been falling to begin with because the 11-year-old boys should know better than to run through someone else's home into an off-limits room while recklessly fighting over a video game controller to the point of knocking over the fragile shelf!

Was it an accident that they knocked over the shelf? Sure...to a degree, of course it was! They didn't go into the room with the intent to pull the shelf to the ground and destroy OPs things. But should they be held responsible for their bad judgment (fighting/struggling over possession of an object with their sibling and running through the house, entering a room they weren't supposed to be in and carelessly jostling each other over control of the remote such that they slammed into shelf and created this mess)--YES!!!

Haven't you ever seen old re-runs of the Brady Bunch? "Mom always says, 'Don't play ball in the house!'" You break it, you buy it! They *should* feel a little traumatized that their rough-housing in someone else's home caused damage! And they should be mortified/embarrassed and feel ashamed enough to offer to pay off the damage. And if they don't feel it...then at the very least their PARENT should feel some sense of remorse on their behalf.

If the shelf had been bolted to the wall, it would not have crashed down. The stuff on it, maybe but not the entire shelf. The kids did not go in intending to break it. And, if the shelf was bolted down or OP was watching the kids it probably would never have happened. If they were fighting over a controller, she should have stepped in.

Yes and if the shelf had been bubble-wrapped, none of this would have happened. In fact, we should really just all make our houses out of legos. It would be so much easier for the children than telling them no and following through with consequences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Plus 1. PP response is ridiculous for a tween incident.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Well, but you're sort of side-stepping the point of the story, aren't you? And that is that the glass shelving full of Tchotckes (whether you are "against" them or not) should not have been falling to begin with because the 11-year-old boys should know better than to run through someone else's home into an off-limits room while recklessly fighting over a video game controller to the point of knocking over the fragile shelf!

Was it an accident that they knocked over the shelf? Sure...to a degree, of course it was! They didn't go into the room with the intent to pull the shelf to the ground and destroy OPs things. But should they be held responsible for their bad judgment (fighting/struggling over possession of an object with their sibling and running through the house, entering a room they weren't supposed to be in and carelessly jostling each other over control of the remote such that they slammed into shelf and created this mess)--YES!!!

Haven't you ever seen old re-runs of the Brady Bunch? "Mom always says, 'Don't play ball in the house!'" You break it, you buy it! They *should* feel a little traumatized that their rough-housing in someone else's home caused damage! And they should be mortified/embarrassed and feel ashamed enough to offer to pay off the damage. And if they don't feel it...then at the very least their PARENT should feel some sense of remorse on their behalf.

If the shelf had been bolted to the wall, it would not have crashed down. The stuff on it, maybe but not the entire shelf. The kids did not go in intending to break it. And, if the shelf was bolted down or OP was watching the kids it probably would never have happened. If they were fighting over a controller, she should have stepped in.

Can't argue with crazy.