I have a much higher income than my parents had, but also pay significantly more for things like housing, childcare, and future college. I believe my quality of life is slightly worse than theirs, for lots of reasons that are connected with living in a bigger city with high COL away from any family help. My sister who lives in the midwestern city where I grew up just paid off her house at 40, and has really benefitted from having grandparents nearby to help with childcare.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I may sound spoiled and immature but it doesn't change the reality that my parents didn't stop me from pursuing a non-lucrative career.
I wish they had been more authoritarian when it came to this. Now at 41 and making only $80k, i'm a laughing stock in our friends circle.
I'm lucky that my parents help pay for childcare and put a 50% down payment on our home so we could afford to live in NW DC.

If you're not a troll, congratulations for being one of the larger assholes I've seen on DCUM - and that is quite a distinction.

Did it ever occur to you that the reason you're a "laughingstock" at 41 is not because your parents weren't authoritarian enough but rather than you reached adulthood without seeming to be able to take personal responsibility for anything? You sound like life has simply drifted you on a course over which you have no control, and you're looking back in judgment rather than looking forward for opportunity. Don't your rich parents have some sort of network you could leverage into a higher-paying field or friends that could pay you a fortune to design their company logo?

And you should tell your parents thank you for continuing to financially support you as an adult rather than blaming them for your poor career choices. At this stage in your life, it sounds like you're not going to amount to much, and you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you.

My parents were poor (both college drop outs with blue/pink collar jobs).

We are rich (HHI of $700k).

I don’t resent them but I do get annoyed with people who don’t recognize that they’re lucky if their parents never need to call and ask for money for emergencies.

I am better off than my parents or inlaws were at my age. Not having kids definitely helped. I am not as well off as they are now. But they are planning to leave us a lot of money so eventually I'll be richer than they are.

But they picked their professions and I picked mine. If I never get as rich as them, and they choose to leave all their money to charity, that's fine too. I don't feel they owe me anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are better off because we have a lot less kids and two incomes. Up until the 80's women didn't have many good job opportunities and also they had a lot of kids to care for.

We had much more of a chance to do better and we did.

you can't double your income by two people working to say you are better off.

Lets say

Couple A the husband makes 180K and wife is a stay at home mom

Couple B the husband makes 100K and wife makes 100K both work full time.

Who is better off?

BTW my Mom had four kids and 10 grandkids. Her pride and joy. When she died whatever little money she had died with her. My next door neighbor growing up was rich, had a better house, executive husband and no kids. She always told my Mom she wished she had kids. My Mom who was dead broke always wished she had her money. Who was better?

who knows who was better off in this situation. and better off psychically or better off financially? sounds like the neighbor was better off financially - and we have no idea who was better off psychically. the neighbor might have said that to your mom just to make conversation, for all we know.

i hope your mom's kids helped her out financially, if she was struggling like you say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are better off because we have a lot less kids and two incomes. Up until the 80's women didn't have many good job opportunities and also they had a lot of kids to care for.

We had much more of a chance to do better and we did.

you can't double your income by two people working to say you are better off.

Lets say

Couple A the husband makes 180K and wife is a stay at home mom

Couple B the husband makes 100K and wife makes 100K both work full time.

Who is better off?

BTW my Mom had four kids and 10 grandkids. Her pride and joy. When she died whatever little money she had died with her. My next door neighbor growing up was rich, had a better house, executive husband and no kids. She always told my Mom she wished she had kids. My Mom who was dead broke always wished she had her money. Who was better?

Yea, you are assume someone is middle class. We are two upper class incomes that stand alone as UMC without marriage. Very doubtful my DH than we make today, regardless of having someone SAH. We are both in technology sales. I have many male colleagues who are single household earners and we do indeed make double.

In your scenario, I don't quite understand why all of a sudden couple Bs male income drops from 180k to 100k. Makes no sense. Men don't exactly daddy track themselves...as least not in the world I live in. However on in technology and everyone is in a race to the top or chasing options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father was raised in an orphanage, got on heroin at 17, then became a plumber.

So yes, I am because I made different life choices

That is so not fair. Your father had an extremely tough life and yet you call your success better choices?! You are not a very nice person.

DP here but the PP said different, not better. And she answered the question posed by the OP, which is that she is richer than her parents.

Yeah but she said LIFE CHOICES. What was her choice? Being born to better parents than her father was? I'm pretty sure he didn't choose to grow up in an orphanage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father was raised in an orphanage, got on heroin at 17, then became a plumber.

So yes, I am because I made different life choices

That is so not fair. Your father had an extremely tough life and yet you call your success better choices?! You are not a very nice person.

DP here but the PP said different, not better. And she answered the question posed by the OP, which is that she is richer than her parents.

OP, thanks for verbalizing your unhappiness. You have actually touched on an issue I think is a lot more prevalent than the PPs are giving you credit for.

My siblings and I all went to Ivy's for undergrad (and grad) with lots of wealthy kids (we were the financial aid students) who majored in art history, political science, graphic design, history, literature, etc. Many went on to professional school and are now doing quite well. I look back, and it is clear to me now that they knew that they were going on to law school/medical school so their undergraduate major did not matter that much. For my/our classmates who picked a non-professional undergraduate major and then didn't have a clear plan for their career afterwards (consulting, etc), many sort of wandered pursuing their passion. Those who have not been able to "make it" professionally (in terms of income) and grew up in wealthy households have privately expressed unhappiness to me/my siblings about how they chose their early career. A couple of my classmates actually went back to medical school in their 30s when they realized they had (what they considered) dead end careers.

My DH's parents (who are wealthy) pushed all their kids to become doctors and lawyers because they felt that money was an important part of choosing a profession. My parents (who are not wealthy, but are educated) pushed us to have "practical" majors so we could support ourselves, but didn't emphasize money. I always thought I would be killing it if I made $100K in my lifetime (which my parents never made - a great year was $80K). I have managed to land on my feet in terms of income (at 40 I make $190K) and marrying someone with a significant income ($500K at 45), and appreciate more than ever how important money can be to ease life choices.

While I am glad I didn't pursue my career for the money, I wish I had thought more about what income might mean when I was thinking about professions because, in hindsight, I can see all the opportunities that having a higher salary provides for our children and how much it eases my stress and lifestyle. Yes, my DH and I work extremely hard, but so do lots of folks who make a lot less money than we do. I will be honest with our children about the trade-offs of different careers when they are older, although I will support their choices.

This has to be a troll original post. No one is that immature and unwilling to take responsibility for their own life choices. Nice flip of the trope that UMC parents push their kids into careers they don't enjoy and don't support their dreams, though!

You blame your parents for this because you didn't listen? Better not cut them off....

Anonymous wrote:We are better off because we have a lot less kids and two incomes. Up until the 80's women didn't have many good job opportunities and also they had a lot of kids to care for.

We had much more of a chance to do better and we did.

you can't double your income by two people working to say you are better off.

Lets say

Couple A the husband makes 180K and wife is a stay at home mom

Couple B the husband makes 100K and wife makes 100K both work full time.

Who is better off?

BTW my Mom had four kids and 10 grandkids. Her pride and joy. When she died whatever little money she had died with her. My next door neighbor growing up was rich, had a better house, executive husband and no kids. She always told my Mom she wished she had kids. My Mom who was dead broke always wished she had her money. Who was better?

Yes, both DH and I are wealthier than our parents were at a comparable age.

We are better off because we have a lot less kids and two incomes. Up until the 80's women didn't have many good job opportunities and also they had a lot of kids to care for.

We had much more of a chance to do better and we did.

Instead of whining about your low income, go get yourself a better job. Making money is easy if you try. Grow up.