Anonymous
07/20/2019 21:53
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
OP, I'm with you. People are freaking out because they have an inkling their kid isn't with the best caregiver.
I work PT and have a lot of time with my kids during the day. I would say 75% of the nannies I see are amazing, but a solid %25 are checked out, sometimes even dangerously so. So many of them are on the phone all day with their headphones. They are chatting to friends and family while going through the motions with their charge at the playground.
I watched a nanny take her charge (~16 month old) to the park and proceed to talk with her friends for 30 minutes while the very much awake child stayed strapped in the stroller totally ignored. He didn't protest... like this was his normal. I also learned that this child was the son of an acquaintance. My acquaintance mentioned to me how his son was a late walker and it concerned them. I was very torn about what to do, but ultimately I did nothing because it's not like she was hitting him or screaming at him, and I just didn't know the dad well enough.
I also watched a nanny last week giver her 18 month old charge big, full sized, uncut grapes in her stroller while barely supervising her. Maybe that's a parental thing but holy f*** if I were a nanny I'd take it upon myself to cut the damn things.
There are a lot of nannies who don't talk to their charges. Like at all. There are a lot who clearly have some disdain for them and hate their jobs. But most are really loving, wonderful caregivers. People know in their gut which kind of nanny theirs is. If she's "good enough" or if they're "so lucky to have her". If people aren't coming up to you, saying how wonderful your nanny is, she's probably not taking very good care of your kid.
I work PT and have a lot of time with my kids during the day. I would say 75% of the nannies I see are amazing, but a solid %25 are checked out, sometimes even dangerously so. So many of them are on the phone all day with their headphones. They are chatting to friends and family while going through the motions with their charge at the playground.
I watched a nanny take her charge (~16 month old) to the park and proceed to talk with her friends for 30 minutes while the very much awake child stayed strapped in the stroller totally ignored. He didn't protest... like this was his normal. I also learned that this child was the son of an acquaintance. My acquaintance mentioned to me how his son was a late walker and it concerned them. I was very torn about what to do, but ultimately I did nothing because it's not like she was hitting him or screaming at him, and I just didn't know the dad well enough.
I also watched a nanny last week giver her 18 month old charge big, full sized, uncut grapes in her stroller while barely supervising her. Maybe that's a parental thing but holy f*** if I were a nanny I'd take it upon myself to cut the damn things.
There are a lot of nannies who don't talk to their charges. Like at all. There are a lot who clearly have some disdain for them and hate their jobs. But most are really loving, wonderful caregivers. People know in their gut which kind of nanny theirs is. If she's "good enough" or if they're "so lucky to have her". If people aren't coming up to you, saying how wonderful your nanny is, she's probably not taking very good care of your kid.
Anonymous
07/20/2019 21:41
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you're paying crappy wages to some immigrant who barely speaks English to watch your kid, and you expect her to care as much about your kid as you do?
Good luck with that.
I don’t have a nanny but some of the best nannies o know are immigrants who barely speak English.
You don’t have a nanny. How would you know this?!
Anonymous
07/20/2019 21:29
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you're paying crappy wages to some immigrant who barely speaks English to watch your kid, and you expect her to care as much about your kid as you do?
Good luck with that.
I don’t have a nanny but some of the best nannies o know are immigrants who barely speak English.
x1000 We did have a legal immigrant nanny and omg the times the "US english" nannies were constantly on the phone was ridiculous. My kids are in elementary now reading/writing/speaking english very well thank you. The challenge is to get them to speak a second language which I don't think most parents appreciate at all the when kids are young.
Anonymous
07/20/2019 10:21
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
It is not good for a non-infant to have 100% of any adult's attention 100% of the time. When the kids are in a safe place designed for kids to interact with each other, the adults should back off and watch from a reasonable distance.
Anonymous
07/20/2019 10:17
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:
Most of you have never seen a professional nanny.
Exactly. As this nannies cost money and wouldn’t be in their circle of friends.
Anonymous
07/20/2019 08:45
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Most of you have never seen a professional nanny.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 21:34
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I am guilty of using my phone when my charges play. Because I work 13-hour days and my only break is when the kids are happily absorbed in a safe and confined area. That’s why we go to those places. I am supervising, but I’ve been doing this for over a decade. I don’t need to stare at them every second they are awake in order to keep them safe. If we are doing other activities (going on a hike, touring a museum, creating art, swimming, etc. etc.) then I am on and engaged the whole time. That is fun too but I can’t sustain it for 65 hours a week. And believe it or not I AM often doing kid-relatwd things. I volunteer at their school and need to email and text committee members, I order all their clothes, I order groceries every week and make all of their meals so I need to meal plan and use the instacart app and so on. Many nannies take on everything a SAH parent does but our standards are often higher since we are professionals. My charges eat home-cooked meals and only use screens when they are ill.
This is super false. I SAH. I use my time at home to pay bills, budget and invest, make arrangements when something in the house needs to be fixed (or fix it myself), do yard work, make kids doctors appointments (and go to them), refill prescriptions, pick up dry cleaning, shop for all the kids clothes and shoes and sports equipment, make plans for the family on the weekend, plan vacations, etc, as well as of course doing all the laundry, meal planning, cooking, and grocery shopping.
Most nannies do not do all of these things. And frankly being a SAHM is far more interesting and engaging than being a nanny (which seems like drudgery) because I am 100% in control of how we spend our time, and I have many projects I can work on as well, often with the kids (organizing parts of the garage, arranging to have our patio redone and picking new furniture for it, gardening, etc).
Please. This is so silly. WOHM does all of those things for two kids. So does my husband. Ordering sports equipment is hard? OK! daycare is superior to both nanny care and Sahm care due to the socialization, activities, caregivers who have to meet standards. But yeah, most nannies are not doing a great job.
Keep your child in daycare, since you have no idea what a good nanny does.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 21:08
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. Enjoyed reading all the responses.
The nannies I see at these play areas usually have kids 3 and under. Kids this age usually need a little more supervision since they tend to parallel play more than play with each other. It's really sad because I see the kids coming up to their nannies to play and the nanny just brushes them off and tells them to play by themselves.
I'm not a career nanny or a mom but I do nanny during my breaks from school for other families. I'm also getting my doctorate in child psychology so I'm not an expert but I know a thing or two about kids.
OP, I hope you save this post so you can come back and laugh at it when you have kids of your own.
OP here. I don't see why I would come back and laugh at this post when I have my own kids. I know kids are hard but a job is a job. You shouldn't be on your phone 2-3 hours a day and ignoring the kids. Like a previous poster said, most of the nannies I've seen are chatting away on their phones for hours in their native language. I'm not even talking about SAH moms. I feel like it's even harder for them since they manage the household plus watch the kids so I get it if they're on their phones for a bit. The SAH moms I've seen don't ignore their kids though if their child wants them to play. [/quote
MB here. I honestly think your post seems a bit tinged with anti immigrant sentiment. My family has had two nannies whose native language was English and family is here. They may have been on the phone for hours each day but it would have been in their native language of English. Also as a mom I have been on my phone a lot. But I am sure there are some mommy martyrs out there doing it all right. But op before my kids were born I had it all figured out, but I am .. so .. tired now. But so much smarter as a parent too. Hold your judgement. You can be sure you will not be my babysitter.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 21:05
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I am guilty of using my phone when my charges play. Because I work 13-hour days and my only break is when the kids are happily absorbed in a safe and confined area. That’s why we go to those places. I am supervising, but I’ve been doing this for over a decade. I don’t need to stare at them every second they are awake in order to keep them safe. If we are doing other activities (going on a hike, touring a museum, creating art, swimming, etc. etc.) then I am on and engaged the whole time. That is fun too but I can’t sustain it for 65 hours a week. And believe it or not I AM often doing kid-relatwd things. I volunteer at their school and need to email and text committee members, I order all their clothes, I order groceries every week and make all of their meals so I need to meal plan and use the instacart app and so on. Many nannies take on everything a SAH parent does but our standards are often higher since we are professionals. My charges eat home-cooked meals and only use screens when they are ill.
This is super false. I SAH. I use my time at home to pay bills, budget and invest, make arrangements when something in the house needs to be fixed (or fix it myself), do yard work, make kids doctors appointments (and go to them), refill prescriptions, pick up dry cleaning, shop for all the kids clothes and shoes and sports equipment, make plans for the family on the weekend, plan vacations, etc, as well as of course doing all the laundry, meal planning, cooking, and grocery shopping.
Most nannies do not do all of these things. And frankly being a SAHM is far more interesting and engaging than being a nanny (which seems like drudgery) because I am 100% in control of how we spend our time, and I have many projects I can work on as well, often with the kids (organizing parts of the garage, arranging to have our patio redone and picking new furniture for it, gardening, etc).
Please. This is so silly. WOHM does all of those things for two kids. So does my husband. Ordering sports equipment is hard? OK! daycare is superior to both nanny care and Sahm care due to the socialization, activities, caregivers who have to meet standards. But yeah, most nannies are not doing a great job.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 20:45
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you're paying crappy wages to some immigrant who barely speaks English to watch your kid, and you expect her to care as much about your kid as you do?
Good luck with that.
I don’t have a nanny but some of the best nannies o know are immigrants who barely speak English.
How are these children learning English? At night/weekends? No.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 20:41
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:So you're paying crappy wages to some immigrant who barely speaks English to watch your kid, and you expect her to care as much about your kid as you do?
Good luck with that.
I don’t have a nanny but some of the best nannies o know are immigrants who barely speak English.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 20:33
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Babies and toddlers 0-3 must have:
1. stability
2. competence
3. love
Most children (even with wealthy parents) are not getting this. These are the most important foundational years.
Do you really think that Most umc children aren’t getting this?
Anonymous
07/19/2019 20:21
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Raise your own damn kids.
Who are you talking to?
Anonymous
07/19/2019 17:59
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Babies and toddlers 0-3 must have:
1. stability
2. competence
3. love
Most children (even with wealthy parents) are not getting this. These are the most important foundational years.
1. stability
2. competence
3. love
Most children (even with wealthy parents) are not getting this. These are the most important foundational years.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 17:55
Subject: A lot of nannies suck
Anonymous wrote:Raise your own damn kids.
Too hard, not fun and no glory.