Anonymous
Post 03/07/2019 13:26     Subject: Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We let our daughter experience high-end things in a way that does not establish expectations for years of high-expense activity. Horse camp at rock creek in the summer rather than year-around riding lessons. Ballet, choir and Scouts BSA instead of family schedule-deforming travel teams. I feel badly for the OP. Don't feel you have to go bankrupt over her activity. Kids are smart and will already know you are over-spending.


Serious ballet can be just as expensive and life-consuming. And honestly, you can't really "experience" sports or activities at the high end unless you're good enough to be there.


Exactly. People act like it is a choice; like spending lots of money on expensive coaching will automatically get a kid to the top, elite end: If your kid doesn’t have the talent, no amount of money is going to make them great.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2019 12:30     Subject: Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:We let our daughter experience high-end things in a way that does not establish expectations for years of high-expense activity. Horse camp at rock creek in the summer rather than year-around riding lessons. Ballet, choir and Scouts BSA instead of family schedule-deforming travel teams. I feel badly for the OP. Don't feel you have to go bankrupt over her activity. Kids are smart and will already know you are over-spending.


Serious ballet can be just as expensive and life-consuming. And honestly, you can't really "experience" sports or activities at the high end unless you're good enough to be there.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2019 20:03     Subject: Re:Expensive Sport
I’m in my late 30s now, but I played competitive tennis when I was young. Had tons of private lessons and attended very good camps in Florida and California. I had a high national ranking in USTA and went to state all four years of high school. By my senior year of high school, I was burnt out. Instead of accepting college scholarships for tennis, I quit. Were my parents upset I didn’t play in college- a little. But they never pushed the sport on me. In summary, as someone whose parents paid a lot of money on a sport with little in return, I am SO grateful they did. If your child enjoys it and you can afford it, I say continue to support it.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 18:08     Subject: Expensive Sport
We let our daughter experience high-end things in a way that does not establish expectations for years of high-expense activity. Horse camp at rock creek in the summer rather than year-around riding lessons. Ballet, choir and Scouts BSA instead of family schedule-deforming travel teams. I feel badly for the OP. Don't feel you have to go bankrupt over her activity. Kids are smart and will already know you are over-spending.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 16:19     Subject: Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is an equestrian. I'm about to spend $50,000 on a new horse that "might" last her 2 years before she's at the next level. Then there is the $6K saddles, etc. And, of course, the board and maintenance of said horse. It's ludicrous.

I didn't fully appreciate the cost when she started and had no idea she would ever be serious. We are lucky we can do that for her. She struggles in school, so it is her therapy (although pay for therapy, too).

I'll be honest. I kind of resent it, but lately, she has started to understand what it all costs and has been very grateful, so that helps.


Why would the horse last her 2 years? Can't the horse learn too?



Not really. you need a better “quality” horse at upper levels.


Do you keep the horse as a pet and buy a second?


Usually you try to sell it or lease it out. Sometimes you lease yourself instead of buying. Lease fees can be over $30k a year on top of board, horse care, training, etc.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 13:42     Subject: Expensive Sport
I am a PP Equestrian. My parents’ support, to their ability, has been a huge boon to my life. It wasn’t a waste, either. My father actually funds his retirement boarding horses on the farm he built for me, and I in turn fund my current equine enterprises with my own farm.

I am not sure I would spend as much for a hobby that doesn’t continue past childhood, though. That said, I do my best to pay for anything related to my kids’ passions (which tend more toward coding/engineering than sports, but whatever as long as they love and work at it).
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 13:14     Subject: Expensive Sport
Except that we CAN afford it with sacrifices. Isn't that what this thread is about -- whether the sacrifices are worth it? For us, they are. If we truly could not, of course we would say no.

And, yes, I say no to many, many things, including phones and expensive clothes that other families buy for their kids, so this is not about permissive parenting. This is my family deciding what OUR priorities are. They don't have to be yours.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 12:50     Subject: Re:Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:
This. There are certain sports that get a hard no. Like figure skating.


Except -- what if that sport is your kid's greatest love? Not to be dramatic, but I was a figure skater and was determined my daughters would not skate. I put them in every rec league team sport I could, determined that they would have a more "normal" childhood. One of my girls begged for a year to take skating lessons, and I finally said yes. She loves it. She is talented. She calls skating her reason for being. Two of her coaches have commented that they have never seen a kid who loves skating so much. How can I deny that?

Then her sister fell in love with another, similarly expensive sport and has started competing nationally.

So, yes, we live in an older house and drive older cars because we are not rich. We use points for sports-related travel. I budget carefully, eat leftovers for lunch, and track all of our spending. All so my kids can do their expensive sports. There are times when I question if it is worth it, but I see how devoted they are and decide that it is. Because it is not even remotely about making the Olympics or getting a college scholarship.


Kids don’t get everything they love. Exercise your god given ability to say no. It’s actually fine to use the words “we can’t afford that.” They can do open skate or less pricey lessons. Your argument is not strong.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 09:53     Subject: Re:Expensive Sport
This. There are certain sports that get a hard no. Like figure skating.


Except -- what if that sport is your kid's greatest love? Not to be dramatic, but I was a figure skater and was determined my daughters would not skate. I put them in every rec league team sport I could, determined that they would have a more "normal" childhood. One of my girls begged for a year to take skating lessons, and I finally said yes. She loves it. She is talented. She calls skating her reason for being. Two of her coaches have commented that they have never seen a kid who loves skating so much. How can I deny that?

Then her sister fell in love with another, similarly expensive sport and has started competing nationally.

So, yes, we live in an older house and drive older cars because we are not rich. We use points for sports-related travel. I budget carefully, eat leftovers for lunch, and track all of our spending. All so my kids can do their expensive sports. There are times when I question if it is worth it, but I see how devoted they are and decide that it is. Because it is not even remotely about making the Olympics or getting a college scholarship.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 08:37     Subject: Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is an equestrian. I'm about to spend $50,000 on a new horse that "might" last her 2 years before she's at the next level. Then there is the $6K saddles, etc. And, of course, the board and maintenance of said horse. It's ludicrous.

I didn't fully appreciate the cost when she started and had no idea she would ever be serious. We are lucky we can do that for her. She struggles in school, so it is her therapy (although pay for therapy, too).

I'll be honest. I kind of resent it, but lately, she has started to understand what it all costs and has been very grateful, so that helps.


Why would the horse last her 2 years? Can't the horse learn too?



Not really. you need a better “quality” horse at upper levels.


Do you keep the horse as a pet and buy a second?


If the horse is still sound at the end of those 2 years, you usually sell it to another kid moving up and use that money plus another $50k to buy a nicer horse with more scope for the bigger divisions. If it breaks/goes lame/gets sour/starts stopping at jumps, you send it to a retirement facility and continue paying $500 a month for the rest of its life, which could be a decade or more. I currently have 4 former show horses boarded at my farm. Bless their owners for taking care of them, but it isn't cheap.

I would not recommend anyone to buy a fresh off-track Thoroughbred for a child to learn on. I have 2 myself and enjoy bringing them along, but I have the experience to do it safely and successfully. 50k is about right for a 1.1 m Children's Jumper. When the poster's child is ready to move up to the juniors she'll be looking at low six figures for something capable of helping a kid move up. Plus it will inevitably need a different saddle and wear a different size in all the rest of its tack and wardrobe, to the tune of $$$$$$$$
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 08:03     Subject: Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is an equestrian. I'm about to spend $50,000 on a new horse that "might" last her 2 years before she's at the next level. Then there is the $6K saddles, etc. And, of course, the board and maintenance of said horse. It's ludicrous.

I didn't fully appreciate the cost when she started and had no idea she would ever be serious. We are lucky we can do that for her. She struggles in school, so it is her therapy (although pay for therapy, too).

I'll be honest. I kind of resent it, but lately, she has started to understand what it all costs and has been very grateful, so that helps.


Why would the horse last her 2 years? Can't the horse learn too?



Not really. you need a better “quality” horse at upper levels.


Do you keep the horse as a pet and buy a second?
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 06:37     Subject: Re:Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:I am one of those "crazy" parents. My daughter plays competitive tennis since she was 4 years old. She is now 17 years old and we spend about 30k/yr on private lessons, clinics, travel to OOS tournaments, lodging, food, fees. I have to quit my job for two years to travel with her. I am so glad I have the resources to do this for my child. If you have the financial resource to do this, it is a great thing. She has more than enough money in the 529 for the most expensive college in the US.

I can't take money with me when I die so I might as well put it in good use. At least I have an opportunity to do so. Others wish they can do the same for their children but unfortunately, they can't have children for whatever reason. I am so blessed to have this opportunity. People might say that I am wasting my money. They might be right but it is "my money".


Glad you like the sports life. I recommend you talk to your financial advisor about the amount you have in the 529. Typically you dont want to stack it to the brim like that for a number of reasons. Just a tip.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 01:50     Subject: Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In what decade did you compete as a D1 athlete?


2000-2004

Maybe your kids just aren’t that good and need all the expensive extra help?


Times have changed from more than a decade ago.


I’ve been a college coach since then, and no, not really. Like others mentioned, maybe for things like ice skating, but most scholarship sports? You either have it or you don’t, for the most part. Certainly you should have enough natural talent to not require $70K lessons. Travel ball was still a thing in the time I played. I didn’t play on an expensive team. You just have to play for a team that goes to tournaments with scouts, and put together a realistic skills tape that shows what we want to see. I could care less if it was produced by some big name skills tape guy.

Furthermore, the kids who seem to thrive the most are the ones who don’t feel guilted into sticking with a sport because mom and dad blew so much money on it.


My DS used to fence and the top rated fencers at his club all took multiple private lessons each week for years to get to where they are. Two of them just got scholarships but I bet their parents paid more in private lessons than the scholarships are worth. One private lesson per week ran me $120/month so God only knows what the parents are paying for 3-4 of these week along with group lessons, conditioning, travel expenses to national and international tournaments, coaching fees, equipment, etc. Probably not $70K but it certainly isn’t cheap. Some of the top fencers do school online so they can travel to all of these events.


Same. My kid is nationally ranked and everyone at an elite level in his sport gets private coaching: it is expected and normal. It is impossible to do it on talent alone.... it isn’t a team sport. Many/most kids are home schooled due to the travel schedule including international competitions. Not interested in colleges that offer scholarships, can afford any private college so his extracurricular is strictly for fun and enrichment and to give him a leg up in applying to the Ivies and equivalent.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2019 00:33     Subject: Re:Expensive Sport
Anonymous wrote:Here's some perspective for all of you. I understand the extreme expense that sports involve but maybe just be happy you have children to spend time with and money on at all. Some us would be ecstatic to be in your shoes. I would give anything to be able to have a child to spend that kind of money on.


PP what you're doing is actually unhelpful and obnoxious. You are trying to guilt everyone posting here because of your personal issue. You don't get to shut people up just because you are sad that you can't join in meaningfully in this discussion. You don't get to shut down a conversation because you want to play a competitive game of "who has it worse?"

Anonymous
Post 03/03/2019 22:37     Subject: Re:Expensive Sport
We spend more than we should for tennis but do it for the life lessons, exercise, and character building. About $9,000 a year. This is a lot to us but nothing for serious juniors. We can’t afford to do more or we would. I’d spend that on summer programs alone if I could.