Anonymous
02/25/2019 15:56
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
He could be nicer to me.
If he's abusive why would you have sex? I'd be saving for the big "move out day". Yes there are options - he can change or use his 2 hands.
The REAL question here, and one that you ladies keep stepping right over, is why are you married to an abusive jerk? DIVORCE HIM!
(... but, I have to say it, because this is an important thing to keep in mind... if you choose to stay married and sexless, your marriage is open).
Maybe because the kids come before his sexual needs....ya think. Why she's staying with the idiot until the kids are older.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 15:50
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
yay, the MRA is here to remind us that no matter how abusive a man is, if you don’t put out, the marriage IS OPEN.
I also have an emotionally abusive husband. Whatever. If someone else wants to put up with his crap and save me the hassle of getting him off, that’s fine with me. Makes my life easier. Problem is he’s suck a jerk no other woman is interested.
Totally wrong. I am absolutely NOT telling you to put out. If you have an emotionally abusive jerk husband, I definitely would not expect you to have sex with him. Rather, you should divorce him. Why would you stay married to an abusive jerk?
But... but... if you DON'T divorce him, well then I am sorry but you are not entitled to his exclusivity.
I don’t WANT his exclusivity. I’ve told my DH to go ahead and get it elsewhere because cheating wouldn’t be anywhere near the top of the list of terrible things he’s done to me.
I don’t understand you men who put your monogamy up on a pedestal and treat it like it’s some great prize. I don’t want your penis and don’t care where you stick it. Go ahead and open the marriage, god knows I’d also love to get some strange.
It sounds like we are in perfect agreement so why did you respond with an eyeroll instead of just a +1?
Because when someone says their husband is abusive, the first thing to pop into your mind shouldn’t be “well he’s just gonna go get action elsewhere!”
No. Read it again. The first thing in my mind is “why isn’t he your EX husband”.
So he’s so horible that you don’t want sex, but not so horrible that you would divorce?
That’s your decision. But you don’t also get to control his sexual fidelity.
I'm not PP but most women that stay in a situation like this are protecting their child from being alone with an abuser every other weekend. They will take the abuse themselves to protect the child.
the laws don't protect the child from abuse unless it is physical or sexual.
This is exactly it. I have a acquaintance that is divorcing her husband. Her kids are 1.5 and 3, and I've tried to tell her to stay. He is very irresponsible to the point I can see a accident happening. He has issues and is on a disability from the navy. If you saw this couple they look like models, he seriously looks like that guy that plays Thor, but it's a big mess. He's not physically abusive but has tantrums from time to time. I would stay married at least till the kids are much older. Oh and his wife is a family therapist.
What are you talking about? How can you possibly advise her to stay married to an irresponsible abusive jerk? No wonder she doesn't want sex. Divorce him!
The original statement stands: if you choose to remain married without having sex, it means the marriage is open.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 15:46
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
He could be nicer to me.
If he's abusive why would you have sex? I'd be saving for the big "move out day". Yes there are options - he can change or use his 2 hands.
The REAL question here, and one that you ladies keep stepping right over, is why are you married to an abusive jerk? DIVORCE HIM!
(... but, I have to say it, because this is an important thing to keep in mind... if you choose to stay married and sexless, your marriage is open).
DP So - serious question, if I put out and receive no emotional intimacy, is my marriage open to an emotional affair?
Anonymous
02/25/2019 15:40
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
He could be nicer to me.
If he's abusive why would you have sex? I'd be saving for the big "move out day". Yes there are options - he can change or use his 2 hands.
The REAL question here, and one that you ladies keep stepping right over, is why are you married to an abusive jerk? DIVORCE HIM!
(... but, I have to say it, because this is an important thing to keep in mind... if you choose to stay married and sexless, your marriage is open).
Anonymous
02/25/2019 15:17
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Late 40s, teen kids, married 20
once a week minimum. More as work travel allows.
This was my DW. Work travel allowed her to cheat.
Did you divorce her?
Anonymous
02/25/2019 15:16
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
I also have an emotionally abusive husband. Whatever. If someone else wants to put up with his crap and save me the hassle of getting him off, that’s fine with me. Makes my life easier. Problem is he’s suck a jerk no other woman is interested.
Totally wrong. I am absolutely NOT telling you to put out. If you have an emotionally abusive jerk husband, I definitely would not expect you to have sex with him. Rather, you should divorce him. Why would you stay married to an abusive jerk?
But... but... if you DON'T divorce him, well then I am sorry but you are not entitled to his exclusivity.
I don’t WANT his exclusivity. I’ve told my DH to go ahead and get it elsewhere because cheating wouldn’t be anywhere near the top of the list of terrible things he’s done to me.
I don’t understand you men who put your monogamy up on a pedestal and treat it like it’s some great prize. I don’t want your penis and don’t care where you stick it. Go ahead and open the marriage, god knows I’d also love to get some strange.
It sounds like we are in perfect agreement so why did you respond with an eyeroll instead of just a +1?
Because when someone says their husband is abusive, the first thing to pop into your mind shouldn’t be “well he’s just gonna go get action elsewhere!”
No. Read it again. The first thing in my mind is “why isn’t he your EX husband”.
So he’s so horible that you don’t want sex, but not so horrible that you would divorce?
That’s your decision. But you don’t also get to control his sexual fidelity.
I'm not PP but most women that stay in a situation like this are protecting their child from being alone with an abuser every other weekend. They will take the abuse themselves to protect the child.
the laws don't protect the child from abuse unless it is physical or sexual.
This is exactly it. I have a acquaintance that is divorcing her husband. Her kids are 1.5 and 3, and I've tried to tell her to stay. He is very irresponsible to the point I can see a accident happening. He has issues and is on a disability from the navy. If you saw this couple they look like models, he seriously looks like that guy that plays Thor, but it's a big mess. He's not physically abusive but has tantrums from time to time. I would stay married at least till the kids are much older. Oh and his wife is a family therapist.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 14:42
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:I like it in increasing frequency as ovulation approaches. Zero desire after ovulation, or when I'm on any form of hormonal birth control.
That part is me exactly. I can go multiple times per day in the days leading up to it and then have zero desire right after. I start desiring sex again during the last few days of my period. Nothing is as a great as the first orgasm post period.
That said, we usually have sex a few times per week. Even if I'm not 100% in the mood, like post ovulation, I'll at least give a 75% performance for my wife.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 14:36
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Late 40s, teen kids, married 20
once a week minimum. More as work travel allows.
This was my DW. Work travel allowed her to cheat.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 14:32
Subject: Re:Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'd be happy with once per month.
However, I love my spouse very, very much and he would really like it 2-3 times per week. So I make sure we have sex once a week with a few blow jobs thrown in there in between. He's so absolutely dedicated to me in every way and always puts my needs above his. I try hard to reciprocate by putting his needs in this area above my own because I know it matters so much to him.
That's great that you have that approach but hopefully, in time and as you grow together, you can learn to let yourself enjoy it as much as he does. You be surprised that most men want to know what you like and what excites you. The biggest arousal for me sexually is being able to get DW to a point where she loses control and inhibition. She wasn't comfortable with it initially but now she looks forward to it and often initiates.
I think it is funny how this man came in here and assumed the quoted poster (who is not me) just doesn’t “let herself” enjoy sex!??! Literally nothing in her post says that. She sounds like her husband’s drive is jot mayched to her own hit that she cares about her marriage so she tries to compromise. That’s just how it is for some women.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 14:18
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:With DH, once a week when he’s not being annoying. If I had a harem of hot men, however, I’d do a new one every hour on the hour. My libido is strong, but not for sex with the same guy over and over for years. I’m monogamous, but it’s lame.
Time to spice it up. Try role playing so you can pretend it's another guy.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 14:16
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
I also have an emotionally abusive husband. Whatever. If someone else wants to put up with his crap and save me the hassle of getting him off, that’s fine with me. Makes my life easier. Problem is he’s suck a jerk no other woman is interested.
Totally wrong. I am absolutely NOT telling you to put out. If you have an emotionally abusive jerk husband, I definitely would not expect you to have sex with him. Rather, you should divorce him. Why would you stay married to an abusive jerk?
But... but... if you DON'T divorce him, well then I am sorry but you are not entitled to his exclusivity.
I don’t WANT his exclusivity. I’ve told my DH to go ahead and get it elsewhere because cheating wouldn’t be anywhere near the top of the list of terrible things he’s done to me.
I don’t understand you men who put your monogamy up on a pedestal and treat it like it’s some great prize. I don’t want your penis and don’t care where you stick it. Go ahead and open the marriage, god knows I’d also love to get some strange.
It sounds like we are in perfect agreement so why did you respond with an eyeroll instead of just a +1?
Because when someone says their husband is abusive, the first thing to pop into your mind shouldn’t be “well he’s just gonna go get action elsewhere!”
No. Read it again. The first thing in my mind is “why isn’t he your EX husband”.
So he’s so horible that you don’t want sex, but not so horrible that you would divorce?
That’s your decision. But you don’t also get to control his sexual fidelity.
I'm not PP but most women that stay in a situation like this are protecting their child from being alone with an abuser every other weekend. They will take the abuse themselves to protect the child.
the laws don't protect the child from abuse unless it is physical or sexual.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 14:12
Subject: Re:Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:I'd be happy with once per month.
However, I love my spouse very, very much and he would really like it 2-3 times per week. So I make sure we have sex once a week with a few blow jobs thrown in there in between. He's so absolutely dedicated to me in every way and always puts my needs above his. I try hard to reciprocate by putting his needs in this area above my own because I know it matters so much to him.
That's great that you have that approach but hopefully, in time and as you grow together, you can learn to let yourself enjoy it as much as he does. You be surprised that most men want to know what you like and what excites you. The biggest arousal for me sexually is being able to get DW to a point where she loses control and inhibition. She wasn't comfortable with it initially but now she looks forward to it and often initiates.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 14:07
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
I also have an emotionally abusive husband. Whatever. If someone else wants to put up with his crap and save me the hassle of getting him off, that’s fine with me. Makes my life easier. Problem is he’s suck a jerk no other woman is interested.
Totally wrong. I am absolutely NOT telling you to put out. If you have an emotionally abusive jerk husband, I definitely would not expect you to have sex with him. Rather, you should divorce him. Why would you stay married to an abusive jerk?
But... but... if you DON'T divorce him, well then I am sorry but you are not entitled to his exclusivity.
I don’t WANT his exclusivity. I’ve told my DH to go ahead and get it elsewhere because cheating wouldn’t be anywhere near the top of the list of terrible things he’s done to me.
I don’t understand you men who put your monogamy up on a pedestal and treat it like it’s some great prize. I don’t want your penis and don’t care where you stick it. Go ahead and open the marriage, god knows I’d also love to get some strange.
It sounds like we are in perfect agreement so why did you respond with an eyeroll instead of just a +1?
Because when someone says their husband is abusive, the first thing to pop into your mind shouldn’t be “well he’s just gonna go get action elsewhere!”
No. Read it again. The first thing in my mind is “why isn’t he your EX husband”.
So he’s so horible that you don’t want sex, but not so horrible that you would divorce?
That’s your decision. But you don’t also get to control his sexual fidelity.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 13:20
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
I also have an emotionally abusive husband. Whatever. If someone else wants to put up with his crap and save me the hassle of getting him off, that’s fine with me. Makes my life easier. Problem is he’s suck a jerk no other woman is interested.
Usually those creeps act super nice and fake in public. Only the women that live with them know, yours must be pretty bad. Have you tried leaving the room immediately when he starts. Abusers hate that, plus it works.
Anonymous
02/25/2019 13:17
Subject: Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him.
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.
He could be nicer to me.
If he's abusive why would you have sex? I'd be saving for the big "move out day". Yes there are options - he can change or use his 2 hands.