Op, what is “x”? What did you threaten to do to him in return?

Anonymous wrote:It's OP. Thanks guys. I can't sleep and now that the shock has worn off, I'm feeling awful. Maybe I should have held back for my friend's sake. I'm worried that they've been arguing about it. Certainly don't want my DS and her DD, both 15 to find out. Ugh. But, it was a visceral response. Caught off guard.

Nope. Yous shouldn't have done anything differently. He put his hands around your neck. NOT COOL.

Anonymous wrote:A little over dramatic on your part.

x a million.

Op sounds like a drama queen.

Anonymous wrote:Who paid the check?

I paid the check - OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually when abusers choke/strangle, it’s a sign that they might actually kill their victim. The fact that he’s threatening it and demonstrating it is definitely very concerning.

OP here. Yes, it was such a bizzare thing to do to a woman. And, he meant it by the pressure he inflicted. The other extreme is he's very physically affectionate to both men and women when saying hello or goodbye, including kissing. Hard to explain, it's like he's a Corleone from the Godfather.

That's a dominance move. Two narcissistic straight patriarchs in my family used to kiss other guys goodbye because they enjoyed freaking them out.

Anonymous wrote:It's OP. Thanks guys. I can't sleep and now that the shock has worn off, I'm feeling awful. Maybe I should have held back for my friend's sake. I'm worried that they've been arguing about it. Certainly don't want my DS and her DD, both 15 to find out. Ugh. But, it was a visceral response. Caught off guard.

You did the right thing, OP. If your DS finds out about it, it will be a great learning opportunity for him, and her if you have the opportunity! What better way to teach than through example. No man of any age is EVER allowed to put his hands on a woman without explicit comment, no matter the reason. I wish more children were taught this and more women felt comfortable reacting the way you did. I can say that I am fairly certain that I would have reacted very similarly.

Good.