OP still hasn't given her kid's major, has s/he?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know what your son is interested in or plans to do, but some fields it just makes no sense to get a graduate degree. I got my undergrad in journalism and worked in journalism for almost 20 years. Every time I meet someone who has a journalism master’s I wonder why they wasted their money (usually they just didn’t want to start working yet after college). The only good reasons to get another degree are either you got an undergrad degree in something else and have no relevant experience and really really want to go into journalism, or you want to teach at a college level. Even then it’s stupid to me, because you really need a PhD to do that successfully, and tenured professorships are incredibly difficult to come by.

Anyway, I left journalism at $90k and changed sectors and started making low six figures. By contrast, when I started out in journalism, I made $30k. In a low-COL it’s a different story. All that to say, I do OK without an advanced degree. My DH got his master’s in a STEM field, where he works and also has a BS, when he was 35. And yes, his salary has almost doubled, but not necessarily because of the master’s — he’s extremely ambitious. I think he’d be close to his current salary even without the second degree.

Your son will be fine.

I really appreciate your response. Hearing from so many who have succeeded in careers (in non-STEM fields) even after taking a job after undergrad is very reassuring. I am going to push my apprehension to the back of my brain and support him to find a job as soon as he graduates.

I don’t know what your son is interested in or plans to do, but some fields it just makes no sense to get a graduate degree. I got my undergrad in journalism and worked in journalism for almost 20 years. Every time I meet someone who has a journalism master’s I wonder why they wasted their money (usually they just didn’t want to start working yet after college). The only good reasons to get another degree are either you got an undergrad degree in something else and have no relevant experience and really really want to go into journalism, or you want to teach at a college level. Even then it’s stupid to me, because you really need a PhD to do that successfully, and tenured professorships are incredibly difficult to come by.

Anyway, I left journalism at $90k and changed sectors and started making low six figures. By contrast, when I started out in journalism, I made $30k. In a low-COL it’s a different story. All that to say, I do OK without an advanced degree. My DH got his master’s in a STEM field, where he works and also has a BS, when he was 35. And yes, his salary has almost doubled, but not necessarily because of the master’s — he’s extremely ambitious. I think he’d be close to his current salary even without the second degree.

Your son will be fine.

OP Here. I want to thank all people who have responded with thoughtful anecdotes, experiences or suggestions. I kept quiet since yesterday because I was not sure how to respond to some hurtful or snide remarks. But I will respond to a few today to dispel the lie that I am a troll.

I am not a troll. I am a parent with concerns about my son's decision to start working right away, especially because he is not very driven in his career aspirations like his close friends. I respect his decisions for his life and that is why I did not object to his choice of undergraduate major (irrespective of my apprehension). I will not do anything to force him to chose his path. In fact, I am helping him with his resume, cover letter and job search at this time. That does not mean I can ignore my fear. My fear brought me here to post so that I can hear other people's perspective and adjust my thinking.

Many responses here has helped me to see the situation differently. I realize that it is probably best to let him figure out his career in stead of going through a Masters degree too, aimlessly. He is a very conscientious, strong willed and smart young man. So, he would eventually figure his path out. When he does, I will be there to help, if he needs. I also liked the idea to not help (or bail) him financially while he is establishing himself.

I did not disclose my $300K+ salary to brag. I mentioned that to contrast it with what my son wants to earn and settle for. Our salary is not extraordinary, I know. But with the salary + perks + savings we are doing more than fine. We did not chose management path (someone asked here) because of the extra hours it would have required from both of us while our kids were growing. We earn enough to live a good life, can pay for children's full education, can help our own siblings and parents financially, and retire comfortably.

We are not meddling in our children's life. In our culture we take care of our children even when they are way past 18, we take care of our adult (and sometime married) siblings if they need help and we take care of our parents in our home when they are old. While we do all these, we debate with one another about life's choices. We do not prevent our children from making their own decision, but we also do not stay detached as if they are strangers. That's not called meddling, it shows that we care; at least that is what I think.

I am going to guess all these parents of adults are bored out of their minds, have a lot of money and just can't stop helicoptering their adult children. You are that obnoxious evil mom or mil or dad, fil, who people complain non stop about. How can these young adults ever grow the eff up?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my brother was a high school dropout with 4 kids when he finally went to college and then law School. The kids are grown and he's a partner in a law firm and doing well. The only formula to life is to follow what feels right to each person. There's no prescribed guarantee for success and no one perfect timeline. You had the chance to live your life the way you felt was best and now it's his turn to do the same.

Seriously though - men are the only ones I hear about going to grad school with 4 kids.

My friend went to law school with 5 kids and then got pregnant during law school. She does have a very supportive and involved husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my brother was a high school dropout with 4 kids when he finally went to college and then law School. The kids are grown and he's a partner in a law firm and doing well. The only formula to life is to follow what feels right to each person. There's no prescribed guarantee for success and no one perfect timeline. You had the chance to live your life the way you felt was best and now it's his turn to do the same.

Seriously though - men are the only ones I hear about going to grad school with 4 kids.

True that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did he study? What kind of job does he want?

Liberal arts undergraduate degree - not sure what he wants - he would take any job which pays him $30-45K. Since we, the parents, are STEM educated, we have no clue what he can do.

Not trying to be an ass, but you have STEM degrees, with grown children, so you are in full career swing and only make an income of 300k between the 2 of you?

Maybe worry about yourself first. Just sayin'.

I disagree with the OP, but you were trying to be an ass and you succeeded.

300K household income is perfectly respectable. It's more than most of the country makes.

While you're trying to snark at the op, you're insulting a whole bunch of hard-working people who choose not to go for only money in their careers.

and for what it's worth because I know that a " touched a nerve" is coming-- our household income is higher than the op's by a significant amount. I'm just not an a****** about it

Nobody said it is not respectable, it isn't really impressive for a 2 income household, and people at peak career with a STEM degree. I would not exactly take career advice from them.

Sorry, maybe had the OP followed her passion and what she is good at the real money would gave followed. Shrug.

That is what a STEM degree gets you. A decent stable salary but nothing special. Unless you go into management. Why aren’t you two in management OP?

Anonymous wrote:my brother was a high school dropout with 4 kids when he finally went to college and then law School. The kids are grown and he's a partner in a law firm and doing well. The only formula to life is to follow what feels right to each person. There's no prescribed guarantee for success and no one perfect timeline. You had the chance to live your life the way you felt was best and now it's his turn to do the same.

Seriously though - men are the only ones I hear about going to grad school with 4 kids.

My dad was an executive at an investment bank in another big city. He thought all of us kids would go into finance and make it clear that we could have jobs at the bank when we finished school. He was so absent in my early childhood and so stressed out sometimes that his path wasn’t attractive in any way to me and two of my brothers.

I had a liberal arts degree and went to grad school for education. 15 years into my career, I make $70k. My work is meaningful. I know I make a different every day. It sucks that we don’t pay people in education well, but it also sucks that people assume we lead sad lives on our modest salaries or that do this work because we are lazy and couldn’t hack it in another field. Ironically, that often comes from people who are sedentary for most of the day.

Anyway, just don’t assume that your path is the path to success. Success is different for different people. For my dad, it was having heaps of money. For me, it was helping people and having a happy, simple life.

He sounds like a really smart kid. You should be proud to have an independent thinker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did morons like you raise such a smart kid?

OP is a troll. He wants to stir up controversy with such an innocuous question that is also phrased to raise people's hackles.

Read through his responses. Those are troll baits.

Anonymous wrote:How did morons like you raise such a smart kid?

OP is a troll. He wants to stir up controversy with such an innocuous question that is also phrased to raise people's hackles.

How did morons like you raise such a smart kid?

I generally agree with PPs, but I would encourage your son to talk to people in his chosen field (or several fields) and see if they wish they had gone to grad school right after college. It can be hard to go back to school once you start working and especially once you start a family, so he may encounter some people who wished they had gone straight through to a grad degree. They may like their jobs, but feel they would have had more options if they'd done it differently.

But as others have said, a grad degree may not be necessary or right for him. Remember that when you go to school, you not only pay to attend but you also forgo income and work experience during those years.