Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter’s roommate has mental issues. If the RA is useless, she needs to go to the RA’s supervisor or other campus official. She should take the opportunity to leave.

But the girl has to advocate for herself. This is the growing up part.

+1. You are too involved.

Huh? Giving your child advice is “too involved”? Uh ok.

Seriously.

Helping out your kid is "too involved?" GTFOH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hmm... pretty lucky there happened to be a single available. For next semester I guess.

Yeah, it’s soooo suspicious that someone is leaving campus for the spring to go abroad and that her room is now open! That seriously NEVER ever happens. OP, your daughter is totally lying. /s

Why wouldn't it happen?

Kids drop out.

I’m glad you are supporting your daughter moving to a single room. I know it will be more expensive, but her safety & security are worth it. From personal experience I would advise your daughter (and you) what steps are worth taking vs. moving on and hoping the roommate does too. Document what has happened and when, so you have it for records. Talk to an authority figure (school admin or authorities) so someone is aware of the situation, and try have both parties move on, without engagement. You do not want the roommate to fixate on her past this situation.

OP here. Thanks to those who have offered helpful comments. Hoping this goes well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hmm... pretty lucky there happened to be a single available. For next semester I guess.

No, it sounds like the housing office believed her and helped her find a solution. Maybe the RA did report the incidents, maybe the roommate is already on the radar, or maybe, as happened at my school, if more expensive dorm rooms opened up in the Spring, they were happy to have people move into them and pay for them.

My daughter is an RA. If there’s space open, kids don’t really even need a reason to switch rooms.

Anonymous wrote:hmm... pretty lucky there happened to be a single available. For next semester I guess.

No, it sounds like the housing office believed her and helped her find a solution. Maybe the RA did report the incidents, maybe the roommate is already on the radar, or maybe, as happened at my school, if more expensive dorm rooms opened up in the Spring, they were happy to have people move into them and pay for them.

Glad your daughter found a new room. Maybe her roommate had a psychiatric disorder. Good idea on making security aware of the situation. If your daughter is worried about retaliation, have her carry a whistle. Maybe get her one of those motion detected indoor security cameras for her room so that she has proof of her nutty roommate breaks in or damages something. Cameras aren’t that expensive. Like less than $200.

Anonymous wrote:hmm... pretty lucky there happened to be a single available. For next semester I guess.

Yeah, it’s soooo suspicious that someone is leaving campus for the spring to go abroad and that her room is now open! That seriously NEVER ever happens. OP, your daughter is totally lying. /s

Anonymous wrote:hmm... pretty lucky there happened to be a single available. For next semester I guess.

You sound really jealous.

The problem is, the women who are saying "let the kid handle it" are just as unstable as this room mate.

OP - so sorry to hear what your daughter was going through. Wishing her all the best for next semester. I would make sure it's reported because they're likely to put another student in the room given it's a vacant bed. I was a mid-year transfer way back when and it was a hard transition to begin with - wouldn't want a wish a nightmare roommate on someone to boot!

hmm... pretty lucky there happened to be a single available. For next semester I guess.

Anonymous wrote:"My roommate broke my phone" sounds better than "Sorry mom, I was blackout drunk and cracked my screen like every obnoxious sorority girl ever"

I don't know, my kids have broken phones and are always honest about the circumstances. Why? because they know that I know that accidents happen.

OP, I'm so sorry your daughter has been dealing with this. I would encourage her to let the resident advisor, or whoever is above the R.A., and also campus security know about the roommate's behavior. I agree with others that it sounds like the roommate has some mental health issues. Your daughter sounds like a mature and thoughtful young woman and you are absolutely right to offer her support in getting through an especially stressful situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure DD didn’t break her own phone and is blaming it on her roommate because she is afraid of repercussions? Have you considered this as a possibility?

No.

I know for a fact this is not the case because she took it upon herself - with her own money - to Uber to a branch of the cell service provider and get the phone fixed. We saw it on the debit card statement that gets mailed to our house.

I have a really hard time understanding people who assume the worst in their children. Sorry.

Oh silly OP. These people don’t believe the worst in THEIR children! Theirs are perfect. It’s just yours and everyone else’s that are obviously lying troublemakers.