Anonymous
12/18/2018 12:54
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
I got my dd a phone sometime before 5th grade, but 5th grade is when everything hit the fan. The 5th graders started a group text (I assume it included anyone who wanted to be on, but I don't know.) It got very sexually explicit and raunchy. Also lots of profanity and some meanness.
Some parents were reading their kids' messages and others were not. I told my dd to tell her friends that even if their parents don't read them, many other parents WERE reading them and would pass the info on to their parents.
Things ultimately settled down some (though the profanity continues now several years later). It's quite possible, though, that the really vulgar stuff just got moved to an app that I'm not familiar with and thus don't know to check.
The reason it was a dilemma was that the kids who had smart phones were part of all of this mess. But the kids without smart phones were very tangibly left out. There were multiple 'parties' that I knew about that were organized simply as group text messages. ("Everybody, let's meet at the pool at 2." Or "I'm having a party after school the first day of classes.")
I now have a 4th grader (now) and ultimately got her a phone. I'll be on the look-out, but again, I was afraid of her being left out by not having one.
Some parents were reading their kids' messages and others were not. I told my dd to tell her friends that even if their parents don't read them, many other parents WERE reading them and would pass the info on to their parents.
Things ultimately settled down some (though the profanity continues now several years later). It's quite possible, though, that the really vulgar stuff just got moved to an app that I'm not familiar with and thus don't know to check.
The reason it was a dilemma was that the kids who had smart phones were part of all of this mess. But the kids without smart phones were very tangibly left out. There were multiple 'parties' that I knew about that were organized simply as group text messages. ("Everybody, let's meet at the pool at 2." Or "I'm having a party after school the first day of classes.")
I now have a 4th grader (now) and ultimately got her a phone. I'll be on the look-out, but again, I was afraid of her being left out by not having one.
Anonymous
12/17/2018 23:41
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
My 4th grader has a cell phone that can make calls and send texts. It doesn't go on wifi or the internet really, so no issues with social media there.
He has it so he can call us, his grandparents, his brother and his aunts. He mostly uses it to text with my mother. If I am driving, I ask him to text dh or his brother for me.
He has it because I have forgotten to pick him up on short days. I am super afraid it will happen again and knowing that I can call him if I am running late to pick him up is a huge relief.
I think we pay $11 a month for this peace of mind. He doesn't have any of his friends' phone numbers.
Cell phones have been great for keeping my kids close to my mother who lives far away. They have a lot of conversations via text with her that they wouldn't have otherwise.
Cell phones are a tool.
He has it so he can call us, his grandparents, his brother and his aunts. He mostly uses it to text with my mother. If I am driving, I ask him to text dh or his brother for me.
He has it because I have forgotten to pick him up on short days. I am super afraid it will happen again and knowing that I can call him if I am running late to pick him up is a huge relief.
I think we pay $11 a month for this peace of mind. He doesn't have any of his friends' phone numbers.
Cell phones have been great for keeping my kids close to my mother who lives far away. They have a lot of conversations via text with her that they wouldn't have otherwise.
Cell phones are a tool.
Anonymous
12/17/2018 22:41
Subject: Re:Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
No. Not until 8th grade.
Anonymous
12/17/2018 22:32
Subject: Re:Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
My kids 4th and 2nd both have phones. We are divorced and they have the phones to call/text myself and my ex husband. If we were not divorced I would not have allowed the phones
Anonymous
12/17/2018 11:49
Subject: Re:Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
Mine didn't in 4th. The only friends who had them were because their parents were divorced and the mom wanted the kid to be able to communicate with her whenever with dad.
Anonymous
12/17/2018 11:33
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
Heck no.
I am hoping my kid will learn to talk to humans and interact with other children, play outside, etc.
Every kid/adult I know with a phone is glued to it.
I am hoping my kid will learn to talk to humans and interact with other children, play outside, etc.
Every kid/adult I know with a phone is glued to it.
Anonymous
12/09/2018 14:30
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Why do you imagine our kids phones aren't locked down? My kid can't even so much as call someone without me adding the number to their phone. My kid cant add an app without me adding it, my kid doesnt even have adult YouTube, only have kids YT.
Technology has come a long way. What I feel is sad that some parents are scared of technology because they don't know how to use it.
That's great that the phones are locked down, this response was to the person who equated the things kids might see on their phones to a magazine we might have seen as kids. Much different. I agree with you that parents need to educate themselves and not be afraid of technology but they also need to educate themselves about how harmful it can be too.
Just one example, there are millions of videos on kids youtube that are NOT for kids.
https://www.wired.co.uk/article/youtube-for-kids-videos-problems-algorithm-recommend
Anonymous
12/09/2018 13:15
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:My DD switched to a private school (with a wealthier student body) in 5th grade, and many of the kids had iPod Touches. It was very similar to a phone minus the cellular option. Coming from a rural public school, we were slightly shocked how many kids had portable devices at that age (that's just us, though). She had no previous interest in any device before that, but she began to text her friends at her new school using my phone. We got her an iPod touch so she could communicate with her friends on her own that Christmas, and a year later she got her first phone at age 12–the iPhone SE. Nothing too extreme, and it's just like the iPod touch with cellular. We thought it over and decided it was the best option since she was traveling off campus on a bus for many late-night sports practices and we didn't know when she would get back.
Bottom line: wait until your child is older unless there is a significant need. I personally think a 4th grader having a phone is ridiculous.
How is a touch or tablet any different than a phone?
I don't get not having a home phone. Magic Jack is $40 a year.
Anonymous
12/09/2018 13:15
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
PP from above. We let her get social media shortly after getting her phone (an adult family member was actually the that convinced her to get it, go figure), but she deleted them and has little interest.
Anonymous
12/09/2018 13:12
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
My DD switched to a private school (with a wealthier student body) in 5th grade, and many of the kids had iPod Touches. It was very similar to a phone minus the cellular option. Coming from a rural public school, we were slightly shocked how many kids had portable devices at that age (that's just us, though). She had no previous interest in any device before that, but she began to text her friends at her new school using my phone. We got her an iPod touch so she could communicate with her friends on her own that Christmas, and a year later she got her first phone at age 12–the iPhone SE. Nothing too extreme, and it's just like the iPod touch with cellular. We thought it over and decided it was the best option since she was traveling off campus on a bus for many late-night sports practices and we didn't know when she would get back.
Bottom line: wait until your child is older unless there is a significant need. I personally think a 4th grader having a phone is ridiculous.
Bottom line: wait until your child is older unless there is a significant need. I personally think a 4th grader having a phone is ridiculous.
Anonymous
12/09/2018 09:44
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
My 4th grader doesn't have a phone, and I don't know anyone his age who does. My older son got an Iphone for his 13th birthday. He texts friends and plays games on it, but doesn't use any social media. I think waiting for a phone helped him avoid the worst types of social media and stupid behavior. He asked for access to Snapchat and Instagram only to delete both apps a few days later - wouldn't explain why but just said he didn't like all the stupid stuff kids were doing.
To the PPs who say, hey all your kids have tablets or computers, so what's the difference? The difference is portability and ubiquity. No kid needs to carry a handheld computer (even with parental restrictions) with them everywhere at 9-10yo.
To the PPs who say, hey all your kids have tablets or computers, so what's the difference? The difference is portability and ubiquity. No kid needs to carry a handheld computer (even with parental restrictions) with them everywhere at 9-10yo.
Anonymous
12/09/2018 09:19
Subject: Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
^Meant.. "she knows some kids who do have phones.."
Anonymous
12/09/2018 09:18
Subject: Re:Does your 4th grader have a phone? Why or why not?
DD - 10 - has my old smartphone, but it's not enabled for texting or calling. She only uses it for games. She doesn't need a phone. Someone is always with her, be it at home or activity, or she is at school.
I will get her a phone when she hits MS though because we don't have a home phone. It will be a cheap phone -- around 100, or she can use some of her money and buy a better phone. She will also have to pay for her own data.
She knows some kids who do have friends, and there have been social bullying issues going on with them online. I have told her (and my older DC) that if we ever catch them in a bullying situation with the phone, then the phone will be going away. We check the phone and know the password.
I will get her a phone when she hits MS though because we don't have a home phone. It will be a cheap phone -- around 100, or she can use some of her money and buy a better phone. She will also have to pay for her own data.
She knows some kids who do have friends, and there have been social bullying issues going on with them online. I have told her (and my older DC) that if we ever catch them in a bullying situation with the phone, then the phone will be going away. We check the phone and know the password.