Anonymous
11/27/2018 19:16
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP back again.
OP - I disagree that your mom means well.
I can understand why your husband said that in a sharp tone if it was about a sentimental item and she's had boundary issues in the past. Also, he doesn't have the support of his wife when it's on her side of the family.
Please try to think of someone constantly undermining you in this way - and your husband not supporting you.
I'm on Team DH.
I was just about to type this. And the fact that you repeatedly stated she "means well" tell me you are also talking to yourself.
What I read about is a person who isn't respecting that she is not in her own home. Yeah, tidying can be helpful, but you have to earn the right to do something as intimate as anything more than the dishes. You don't mess with people's stuff when in a house not your own. It does not sound to me like she has earned the privilege of acting like an intimate. It does not sound to me like your husband is being respected by you or your mom.
She knew damned well this mug was a favorite, because she sees the kids use it all the time.
Years back, I noticed my mom treating my SIL better than she treated me. So I started acting more like SIL until my mom started walking on eggshells in my house, too. She is much more respectful of me and my choices. She's not happy, but I am (and so is my husband)
Wow , some of you have truly effed up relationships with your mom . When some biddy says your PARENT is not an "intimate"
Geezus Christmas!
Yes, some of us do, so don't be such a snot.
Why does mom automatically qualify as an "intimate" with her son-in-law? No reason, really.
And I truly hope you speak English better than you type.
And I hope I have better relationships then you do .
The fact that you would assume that most people make their parents earn an "intimate" relationship says a lot about you and the quality of your relationships.
Yes there are a lot of dysfunctional families and dysfunctional relationship but to assume that that is the default for anyone especially when talking about their relationship with their mother is really sad and that speaks to your mindset .
And I am really sorry that you feel like a son in law mother-in-law or father-in-law any in law can't be close because a lot of them are .
No one had to assume. OP described her dysfunctional relationship with her mom. It is what it is.
Let me guess you hate on anybody who has a seemingly normal relationship with their mom so you take any opportunity to siw seeds of distraction.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 19:15
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP back again.
OP - I disagree that your mom means well.
I can understand why your husband said that in a sharp tone if it was about a sentimental item and she's had boundary issues in the past. Also, he doesn't have the support of his wife when it's on her side of the family.
Please try to think of someone constantly undermining you in this way - and your husband not supporting you.
I'm on Team DH.
I was just about to type this. And the fact that you repeatedly stated she "means well" tell me you are also talking to yourself.
What I read about is a person who isn't respecting that she is not in her own home. Yeah, tidying can be helpful, but you have to earn the right to do something as intimate as anything more than the dishes. You don't mess with people's stuff when in a house not your own. It does not sound to me like she has earned the privilege of acting like an intimate. It does not sound to me like your husband is being respected by you or your mom.
She knew damned well this mug was a favorite, because she sees the kids use it all the time.
Years back, I noticed my mom treating my SIL better than she treated me. So I started acting more like SIL until my mom started walking on eggshells in my house, too. She is much more respectful of me and my choices. She's not happy, but I am (and so is my husband)
Wow , some of you have truly effed up relationships with your mom . When some biddy says your PARENT is not an "intimate"
Geezus Christmas!
Yes, some of us do, so don't be such a snot.
Why does mom automatically qualify as an "intimate" with her son-in-law? No reason, really.
And I truly hope you speak English better than you type.
And I hope I have better relationships then you do .
The fact that you would assume that most people make their parents earn an "intimate" relationship says a lot about you and the quality of your relationships.
Yes there are a lot of dysfunctional families and dysfunctional relationship but to assume that that is the default for anyone especially when talking about their relationship with their mother is really sad and that speaks to your mindset .
And I am really sorry that you feel like a son in law mother-in-law or father-in-law any in law can't be close because a lot of them are .
No one had to assume. OP described her dysfunctional relationship with her mom. It is what it is.
Dysfunctional because she's move some furniture taken a few liberties you won't blow up the entire universe over some bullshit . Something tells me all your relationships are difficult
Anonymous
11/27/2018 18:46
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP back again.
OP - I disagree that your mom means well.
I can understand why your husband said that in a sharp tone if it was about a sentimental item and she's had boundary issues in the past. Also, he doesn't have the support of his wife when it's on her side of the family.
Please try to think of someone constantly undermining you in this way - and your husband not supporting you.
I'm on Team DH.
I was just about to type this. And the fact that you repeatedly stated she "means well" tell me you are also talking to yourself.
What I read about is a person who isn't respecting that she is not in her own home. Yeah, tidying can be helpful, but you have to earn the right to do something as intimate as anything more than the dishes. You don't mess with people's stuff when in a house not your own. It does not sound to me like she has earned the privilege of acting like an intimate. It does not sound to me like your husband is being respected by you or your mom.
She knew damned well this mug was a favorite, because she sees the kids use it all the time.
Years back, I noticed my mom treating my SIL better than she treated me. So I started acting more like SIL until my mom started walking on eggshells in my house, too. She is much more respectful of me and my choices. She's not happy, but I am (and so is my husband)
Wow , some of you have truly effed up relationships with your mom . When some biddy says your PARENT is not an "intimate"
Geezus Christmas!
Yes, some of us do, so don't be such a snot.
Why does mom automatically qualify as an "intimate" with her son-in-law? No reason, really.
And I truly hope you speak English better than you type.
And I hope I have better relationships then you do .
The fact that you would assume that most people make their parents earn an "intimate" relationship says a lot about you and the quality of your relationships.
Yes there are a lot of dysfunctional families and dysfunctional relationship but to assume that that is the default for anyone especially when talking about their relationship with their mother is really sad and that speaks to your mindset .
And I am really sorry that you feel like a son in law mother-in-law or father-in-law any in law can't be close because a lot of them are .
No one had to assume. OP described her dysfunctional relationship with her mom. It is what it is.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 18:21
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:and you sayAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I picture "moving furniture" equals moving a small table or stool while cleaning. I feel OP is seriously exaggerating. And OP, if you don't use a specific cleaner why do you have it in the house? Or does your mom come armed with bleach spray?
Did she know the mug was sentimental?
Are you and your husband always so high strung?
My mother has rearranged entire rooms while I was at the grocery store "Doesn't it look so much better?"
Put it back and move on.
But some of these posters act like somebody took their kids organs
Even if you do say that, and they do put it back, they still crossed a boundary. The intent is there, and you know they will do something similar if given an opportunity.
Are you serious?
You must not have real problems.
No, I have actual problems. Everyone does. My mom used to be one of them, but she crossed a line and no longer is one of those problems. People have limits.
see just as I suspected so you are projecting your dysfunctional relationship with your mother to other people who his problems are broken ass mug .
Anonymous
11/27/2018 18:20
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP back again.
OP - I disagree that your mom means well.
I can understand why your husband said that in a sharp tone if it was about a sentimental item and she's had boundary issues in the past. Also, he doesn't have the support of his wife when it's on her side of the family.
Please try to think of someone constantly undermining you in this way - and your husband not supporting you.
I'm on Team DH.
I was just about to type this. And the fact that you repeatedly stated she "means well" tell me you are also talking to yourself.
What I read about is a person who isn't respecting that she is not in her own home. Yeah, tidying can be helpful, but you have to earn the right to do something as intimate as anything more than the dishes. You don't mess with people's stuff when in a house not your own. It does not sound to me like she has earned the privilege of acting like an intimate. It does not sound to me like your husband is being respected by you or your mom.
She knew damned well this mug was a favorite, because she sees the kids use it all the time.
Years back, I noticed my mom treating my SIL better than she treated me. So I started acting more like SIL until my mom started walking on eggshells in my house, too. She is much more respectful of me and my choices. She's not happy, but I am (and so is my husband)
Wow , some of you have truly effed up relationships with your mom . When some biddy says your PARENT is not an "intimate"
Geezus Christmas!
Yes, some of us do, so don't be such a snot.
Why does mom automatically qualify as an "intimate" with her son-in-law? No reason, really.
And I truly hope you speak English better than you type.
And I hope I have better relationships then you do .
The fact that you would assume that most people make their parents earn an "intimate" relationship says a lot about you and the quality of your relationships.
Yes there are a lot of dysfunctional families and dysfunctional relationship but to assume that that is the default for anyone especially when talking about their relationship with their mother is really sad and that speaks to your mindset .
And I am really sorry that you feel like a son in law mother-in-law or father-in-law any in law can't be close because a lot of them are .
Anonymous
11/27/2018 18:12
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:OP, you make a lot of excuses for your mom. If this were your MIL “just trying to help” would you react the same way?
You need to support your DH who is obviously frustrated by your mom’s lack of boundaries.
Or if it was an item of significance to you?
Anonymous
11/27/2018 18:08
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
What is your role in this play, you ask? A good question to ask yourself.
Which role do you want to play?
Which role do you want to play?
Anonymous
11/27/2018 18:04
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
OP, you make a lot of excuses for your mom. If this were your MIL “just trying to help” would you react the same way?
You need to support your DH who is obviously frustrated by your mom’s lack of boundaries.
You need to support your DH who is obviously frustrated by your mom’s lack of boundaries.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 17:48
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:I wish people would put more of my sentimental crap in the trash. Would spare me the aggravation of having to do that.
LOL!
Anonymous
11/27/2018 17:38
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:and you sayAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I picture "moving furniture" equals moving a small table or stool while cleaning. I feel OP is seriously exaggerating. And OP, if you don't use a specific cleaner why do you have it in the house? Or does your mom come armed with bleach spray?
Did she know the mug was sentimental?
Are you and your husband always so high strung?
My mother has rearranged entire rooms while I was at the grocery store "Doesn't it look so much better?"
Put it back and move on.
But some of these posters act like somebody took their kids organs
Even if you do say that, and they do put it back, they still crossed a boundary. The intent is there, and you know they will do something similar if given an opportunity.
Are you serious?
You must not have real problems.
No, I have actual problems. Everyone does. My mom used to be one of them, but she crossed a line and no longer is one of those problems. People have limits.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 17:29
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP back again.
OP - I disagree that your mom means well.
I can understand why your husband said that in a sharp tone if it was about a sentimental item and she's had boundary issues in the past. Also, he doesn't have the support of his wife when it's on her side of the family.
Please try to think of someone constantly undermining you in this way - and your husband not supporting you.
I'm on Team DH.
I was just about to type this. And the fact that you repeatedly stated she "means well" tell me you are also talking to yourself.
What I read about is a person who isn't respecting that she is not in her own home. Yeah, tidying can be helpful, but you have to earn the right to do something as intimate as anything more than the dishes. You don't mess with people's stuff when in a house not your own. It does not sound to me like she has earned the privilege of acting like an intimate. It does not sound to me like your husband is being respected by you or your mom.
She knew damned well this mug was a favorite, because she sees the kids use it all the time.
Years back, I noticed my mom treating my SIL better than she treated me. So I started acting more like SIL until my mom started walking on eggshells in my house, too. She is much more respectful of me and my choices. She's not happy, but I am (and so is my husband)
Wow , some of you have truly effed up relationships with your mom . When some biddy says your PARENT is not an "intimate"
Geezus Christmas!
Yes, some of us do, so don't be such a snot.
Why does mom automatically qualify as an "intimate" with her son-in-law? No reason, really.
And I truly hope you speak English better than you type.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 16:45
Subject: Re:My mom threw out DH sentimental item
My mil was always a very needy dependent woman. She never learned to drive and expected her kids to cart her all over. Drop everything to fix something at her house no matter how far away you lived. When she became older it was a big problem since everyone was married, had kids and their own lives. She thought little of disrupting her kids families. Once my husband received a call that "The Family" was having a meeting. Very controlling woman. Every Mother's day she expected to be taken out to the same restaurant by all her kids. It didn't dawn on her there were other mothers in the family that perhaps wanted to spend that day with their own family. On that last Mothers day at the restaurant I decided to tell a few people sitting next to me I was pregnant. A very gossipy family it made it around the table rather quickly. She completely ignored it, lol but it definitely stole her thunder that day.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 16:44
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:and you sayAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I picture "moving furniture" equals moving a small table or stool while cleaning. I feel OP is seriously exaggerating. And OP, if you don't use a specific cleaner why do you have it in the house? Or does your mom come armed with bleach spray?
Did she know the mug was sentimental?
Are you and your husband always so high strung?
My mother has rearranged entire rooms while I was at the grocery store "Doesn't it look so much better?"
Put it back and move on.
But some of these posters act like somebody took their kids organs
Even if you do say that, and they do put it back, they still crossed a boundary. The intent is there, and you know they will do something similar if given an opportunity.
Are you serious?
You must not have real problems.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 16:33
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:and you sayAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I picture "moving furniture" equals moving a small table or stool while cleaning. I feel OP is seriously exaggerating. And OP, if you don't use a specific cleaner why do you have it in the house? Or does your mom come armed with bleach spray?
Did she know the mug was sentimental?
Are you and your husband always so high strung?
My mother has rearranged entire rooms while I was at the grocery store "Doesn't it look so much better?"
Put it back and move on.
But some of these posters act like somebody took their kids organs
Listen one poster determined to gaslight everyone. Someone who doesn't live in your house coming in and rearranging things and going into your personal spaces is inappropriate and a violation. Hands down.
And rearranging furniture can also be quite difficult to put back together.
+1 and it's not just one thing in a vacuum. These types of parents are constantly assessing, undermining, criticizing with little things and then throwing up their hands getting upset "I was just trying to help!"
Anonymous
11/27/2018 16:31
Subject: My mom threw out DH sentimental item
Anonymous wrote:and you sayAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I picture "moving furniture" equals moving a small table or stool while cleaning. I feel OP is seriously exaggerating. And OP, if you don't use a specific cleaner why do you have it in the house? Or does your mom come armed with bleach spray?
Did she know the mug was sentimental?
Are you and your husband always so high strung?
My mother has rearranged entire rooms while I was at the grocery store "Doesn't it look so much better?"
Put it back and move on.
But some of these posters act like somebody took their kids organs
Even if you do say that, and they do put it back, they still crossed a boundary. The intent is there, and you know they will do something similar if given an opportunity.