Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married to ex for 28 years, a 9 year stretch with no sex. I never strayed. Youngest reached 17, marriage ended soon thereafter.

Are you male or female? How on earth did you survive a 9 year stretch like that? ANY affection at all? No hugs/kissses/etc?

I'm curious about this too. We have affection -- hugs, cuddles, holding hands, kisses, but she is done with sex. 50s. It has been more than a year now. Sure, I can jerk off but that's not what I am looking for. I am looking for the connection with my wife, which to me is best made through sex. It is killing me.

Do you even approach her for sex any more?

Actually we have a date night tomorrow night. I told her that when we get home, let’s get out the oil and lock our door (teenagers still at home.) She sounded agreeable but I will bet she will suddenly be too tired. Has happened before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married to ex for 28 years, a 9 year stretch with no sex. I never strayed. Youngest reached 17, marriage ended soon thereafter.

Are you male or female? How on earth did you survive a 9 year stretch like that? ANY affection at all? No hugs/kissses/etc?

I'm curious about this too. We have affection -- hugs, cuddles, holding hands, kisses, but she is done with sex. 50s. It has been more than a year now. Sure, I can jerk off but that's not what I am looking for. I am looking for the connection with my wife, which to me is best made through sex. It is killing me.

Do you even approach her for sex any more?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married to ex for 28 years, a 9 year stretch with no sex. I never strayed. Youngest reached 17, marriage ended soon thereafter.

Are you male or female? How on earth did you survive a 9 year stretch like that? ANY affection at all? No hugs/kissses/etc?

I'm curious about this too. We have affection -- hugs, cuddles, holding hands, kisses, but she is done with sex. 50s. It has been more than a year now. Sure, I can jerk off but that's not what I am looking for. I am looking for the connection with my wife, which to me is best made through sex. It is killing me.

It's a long way from "don't approach women if you're ugly" to "kill yourself because you have sexual desire." The fact that you would set up such a straw man shows an intense focus on the plight of men and an indifference to the suffering of women.

It's not a long way at all. Men kill themselves all the time due to sexual frustration, and women simply don't care.

What "suffering of women"? The intense suffering that occurs when an unattractive man asks them out and they have to refuse? Waah, waah, waah, cry me a river.

Women are totally indifferent to the suffering of men, so I don't know why you think men should care about the suffering of women.

In any case, if we start from the (questionable) premise that women don't want to have sex with ugly men, then ugly men are just going to have to deal with that, right?

The contention was that ugly men should not even be allowed to approach women. My response is, ugly men have a perfect right to approach women, women are just going to have to deal with that. (Women are not obliged to have sex with them, but women do not have the right to avoid dealing with them entirely.)

Ugly men should stick with ugly women and there are millions of them out there

The problem with that is that even ugly women think they are entitled to an attractive man, and will turn their nose up at an ugly man.

80% of women are chasing 20% of men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love getting and receiving oral. I am also, I guess, one of the rare women who can orgasm via penetration. In my 20s I had a boyfriend who was very patient and focused on me and my pleasure. He felt sex wasn't worth it if I wasn't enjoying it, too. That helped tremendously in making me more comfortable sexually. My partner is into being playful so we will meet at home for a midday quickie (eg, one of us will text something on a random day like, "lunch at home today?" with a sexy pic) which gets my engine going. And he's very affectionate, hugs and cuddles and kisses and holds hands and stuff that isn't about just trying to get sex.

What makes you think it's rare for women to orgasm from penetration?
It's not difficult - lots of resources online and in books on how to do this. You just need to try different things with your partner and communicate what feels good for you and what doesn't.

The story that this post is referencing noted that it was rare for women to orgasm via penetration. But, more importantly, why are you advising me on how to make this happen, or do you have reading comprehension problems?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of foreplay, no romance and no oral skills.

I think it was this article that said that men are generally more interested in giving oral sex than are women but women, due to body image issues, are much less likely to be comfortable receiving. So, in part, women need to figure out how to get out of their own heads and just enjoy that their guys want to go down.

If a woman does not enjoy receiving oral sex, it is her right to have that preference. She doesn't need to try to force herself to enjoy it.

I agree with the poster above. Insecurity leads to a lot of women not enjoying oral. That said, women know if the funk is flowing. When she says don't go, I stay away and don't ask twice.

Anonymous wrote:I love getting and receiving oral. I am also, I guess, one of the rare women who can orgasm via penetration. In my 20s I had a boyfriend who was very patient and focused on me and my pleasure. He felt sex wasn't worth it if I wasn't enjoying it, too. That helped tremendously in making me more comfortable sexually. My partner is into being playful so we will meet at home for a midday quickie (eg, one of us will text something on a random day like, "lunch at home today?" with a sexy pic) which gets my engine going. And he's very affectionate, hugs and cuddles and kisses and holds hands and stuff that isn't about just trying to get sex.

What makes you think it's rare for women to orgasm from penetration?
It's not difficult - lots of resources online and in books on how to do this. You just need to try different things with your partner and communicate what feels good for you and what doesn't.