Anonymous
Post 11/13/2018 09:01     Subject: Re:I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
You certainly have received a lot of responses to your post, so I will keep this short; I firmly believe your husband owes it to your marriage to bring you in as half of the decision making process. He is not single anymore and the security of your marriage needs to be in front of his quest for more money. Pray and ask God to help you, as he is the one who created marriage and desired to see you both fulfilled.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 22:39     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
OP, I feel you. My stbx changed jobs 4 years ago despite my protests and he didn’t care it meant my career was essentially put on hold (I won’t go into details but the similarity is that he made a unilateral decision that affected the whole family and is only resolving now).
I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t want to be dependent on his crazy whims anymore and we are separating.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 22:34     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think there's honestly something crazy about requiring you to move to FLA, (or your potentially sacrificing to get there), then you presumably have to deal with a lot of set up and wind up getting yourself situated career-wise, and then the assumption that now you move for your husband's career. YOurs has already take a hit and it'scrazy to think it should take another. Yes, he may make more but yours is in a more serious condition of needing resusitation. I presume.


Op here. No not really. I have worked as an insurance agent for 8 years before I became a SAHM. I had no problem finding a job after staying home for 2 years. There are tons of insurance companies in Florida and I am very happy with my job and salary.



OP, the most important thing that a person needs from his job is satisfaction. And you must be really glad that you have it, because almost half of the world doesn't! Don't submit yourself as a prospect of other people's thoughts, no matter how logical it might seem to them. What's right and works for you, may not work for other's. I made 55k per year in the Midwest and I had a nice townhouse. People on dcum are out of touch with how the rest of America lives.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 22:24     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
Anonymous wrote:I think there's honestly something crazy about requiring you to move to FLA, (or your potentially sacrificing to get there), then you presumably have to deal with a lot of set up and wind up getting yourself situated career-wise, and then the assumption that now you move for your husband's career. YOurs has already take a hit and it'scrazy to think it should take another. Yes, he may make more but yours is in a more serious condition of needing resusitation. I presume.


Op here. No not really. I have worked as an insurance agent for 8 years before I became a SAHM. I had no problem finding a job after staying home for 2 years. There are tons of insurance companies in Florida and I am very happy with my job and salary.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 22:06     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
I think there's honestly something crazy about requiring you to move to FLA, (or your potentially sacrificing to get there), then you presumably have to deal with a lot of set up and wind up getting yourself situated career-wise, and then the assumption that now you move for your husband's career. YOurs has already take a hit and it'scrazy to think it should take another. Yes, he may make more but yours is in a more serious condition of needing resusitation. I presume.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 21:56     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Again, my point is one is always better off working on one's own salary.

Investing time and effort in analyzing your husband's career in an effort to improve that is a waste of energy. Invest in what you control and own -- yourself.


Are you always this dramatic pp? She asked for advice online and it somehow turned into investing tons of time into her husband's career. Researching relocation and the hiring process for his field is a basic thing to know about your spouse. My husband worked as a consultant in IT for 3 years before he found a permanent position.


PP missed the point. I don't think they're worried about a salary increase. 145k is an awesome salary for north Florida. Her husband wants a permanent job with benefits. Consultants do not get PTO, health insurance or vacation. It's a very stressful way to live.


DP. A critical point raised that I think is overlooked here is how much OP can contribute to this stress with her own professional contribution. She works for an insurance company, WFH for $55K. She should have medical, dental, etc to supplement during times like this that they are getting their marriage off the ground. She complains about not wanting to move and be a SAHM, but isn’t clearly saying whether she has a career contribution short/long term worth factoring in. The PP saying she should focus on that to increase her earning potential too gave good advice.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 21:55     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are saying his current salary at a 3 yr contract job is 90K, but he could get a (non-contract) job somewhere else for $140-165k? That seems like a no-brainer to me. 50k is a lot of money in any city and would cover daycare anywhere.


No. Right now the only job leads he has are contract jobs. We would be moving from one contract job to the next. Right now my husband is a medical device data scientist but he wants to switch over to pharmaceutical data position. He says most pharmaceutical companies hire as contractors and convert over to FT. Most of his teammates have left his current employer after 6 months because they got offered a FT permanent job somewhere else. He says there are not any openings for a permanent position at his employer now. My husband hasn't had luck finding a permanent position elsewhere. He has been looking for a while now. He also recently got vacation benefits. It's PTO for the holidays and 1 week vacation. His family lives abroad and we were planning on visiting them soon. If he accepts another job without benefits if will be 1 year or more before he can visit his family or take vacation. He hasn't seen his family in years. I told my husband to stop talking about the jobs. Maybe it was mean but I can only handle so much. He will have an interview and then we think we may be moving soon but nothing comes out of it. Contracting jobs tend to happen very fast. Usually it means you need to move in 2 weeks.


What is the difference between the contract and permanent jobs? Aren't all jobs these days contract (or you just don't get health care)?
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 21:35     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Again, my point is one is always better off working on one's own salary.

Investing time and effort in analyzing your husband's career in an effort to improve that is a waste of energy. Invest in what you control and own -- yourself.


Are you always this dramatic pp? She asked for advice online and it somehow turned into investing tons of time into her husband's career. Researching relocation and the hiring process for his field is a basic thing to know about your spouse. My husband worked as a consultant in IT for 3 years before he found a permanent position.


PP missed the point. I don't think they're worried about a salary increase. 145k is an awesome salary for north Florida. Her husband wants a permanent job with benefits. Consultants do not get PTO, health insurance or vacation. It's a very stressful way to live.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 21:00     Subject: I feel like I am going to explode but I can't say anything
Anonymous wrote:Again, my point is one is always better off working on one's own salary.

Investing time and effort in analyzing your husband's career in an effort to improve that is a waste of energy. Invest in what you control and own -- yourself.


Are you always this dramatic pp? She asked for advice online and it somehow turned into investing tons of time into her husband's career. Researching relocation and the hiring process for his field is a basic thing to know about your spouse. My husband worked as a consultant in IT for 3 years before he found a permanent position.