Anonymous wrote:In many of these mommy wars threads, the arrows come from both sides. I think this particular thread has one or two very, very angry and very, very jealous WOHMs. It's actually a little amusing.

I think the colder months and Holidays makes it harder on some women. Its not fun to pick up your kids from daycare when it is dark and chilly. + everywhere people are buying things, decorating, planning parties for the holiday season and some of these women feel overwhelmed. You have to admit that it is some sort of psychological breakdown when people start getting upset about the personal choices of other women. For these particular WOHMs, if there own situation was great they would be gleeful about how much better their own situation was. Instead they start frothing over the work status of anonymous DCUM posters. It is entertaining at first and then after some time it becomes a bit pathetic.

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Anonymous wrote:How many couples do you know who don't have kids and the wife doesn't work? They're obviously out there, but this seems like a real outlier situation. I know tons of DINKS. No stay at home wives.

You must not live in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, McLean, Great Falls, or the very ritzy sections of DC.

I live in Bethesda, on a street with homes over 7 figures and have never seen a housewife. SAHMs, yes. Housewives, nope.

Or maybe I do and have subconsciously never engaged with them because I cant imagine an intelligent phrase could come out of their mouth. Maybe they are just invisible to me?

haha more likely they recognize you as a mean b*tch who has no friends.

I don't? I just got back from brunch with 3 friends.

I didn’t know adults could still have imaginary friends.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at people who are not working when DH earns 250k or less.

DH earns 1-2m. I stopped working when he hit 800k. We had two kids then. Now we have 3 kids.

If DH earned less, I would have continued to work.

Lol! I agree. My DH makes 400k and that's definitely not enough for me to quit. However, I make 275k, so I'm not exactly going to easily go from netting after retirement 36k per month on down to 21k/mo. An extra 15k/mo is a massive lifestyle adjustment. It is the difference between Telluride vs Liberty or Serengeti vs Animal Kingdom.

What do you do to earn $275k?

You are curious about my 275k and not my DHs 400k? Lol!

Product manager. Technology company.

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Anonymous wrote:How many couples do you know who don't have kids and the wife doesn't work? They're obviously out there, but this seems like a real outlier situation. I know tons of DINKS. No stay at home wives.

You must not live in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, McLean, Great Falls, or the very ritzy sections of DC.

I live in Bethesda, on a street with homes over 7 figures and have never seen a housewife. SAHMs, yes. Housewives, nope.

Or maybe I do and have subconsciously never engaged with them because I cant imagine an intelligent phrase could come out of their mouth. Maybe they are just invisible to me?

Who would want to engage with you? You don't seem to be like a person who is civil or open-minded and neither can you spell.What are you? A poorly educated live-in domestic staff in Bethesda?

This made me laugh

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Anonymous wrote:How many couples do you know who don't have kids and the wife doesn't work? They're obviously out there, but this seems like a real outlier situation. I know tons of DINKS. No stay at home wives.

You must not live in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, McLean, Great Falls, or the very ritzy sections of DC.

I live in Bethesda, on a street with homes over 7 figures and have never seen a housewife. SAHMs, yes. Housewives, nope.

Or maybe I do and have subconsciously never engaged with them because I cant imagine an intelligent phrase could come out of their mouth. Maybe they are just invisible to me?

Who would want to engage with you? You don't seem to be like a person who is civil or open-minded and neither can you spell.What are you? A poorly educated live-in domestic staff in Bethesda?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many couples do you know who don't have kids and the wife doesn't work? They're obviously out there, but this seems like a real outlier situation. I know tons of DINKS. No stay at home wives.

You must not live in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, McLean, Great Falls, or the very ritzy sections of DC.

I live in Bethesda, on a street with homes over 7 figures and have never seen a housewife. SAHMs, yes. Housewives, nope.

Or maybe I do and have subconsciously never engaged with them because I cant imagine an intelligent phrase could come out of their mouth. Maybe they are just invisible to me?

haha more likely they recognize you as a mean b*tch who has no friends.

I don't? I just got back from brunch with 3 friends.

Anonymous wrote:You can't make everyone happy if you're a woman. The on acceptable situation to everyone would be a mom with a flexible, good income, socially beneficial, intellectually stimulating job that is high level yet allows her great work life balance and time to volunteer and be in the door by 5. And of course, she would have a short commute.

+1
And yet I worked under the opposite of these conditions when I did not have children and basically sucked it up. Once I had a kid and my household did not need my paycheck (note that these were two seperate things), I wanted to give my child a lifestyle that we thought was best for my child, so I became a SAHM.

If my family needed my paycheck, I would have worked. Paycheck is about survival in the hierarchy of needs, being home with the child is an emotional benefit and is the next level up from the need for survival. Many of my friends continue to work because they need the income. Also, anyone's situation can change in an instance, being educated enough to get back to work is a good strategy.

Anonymous wrote: I never hear SAHMs tell WOHMs to quit work and be home, but I always hear WOHMs tell SAHMs that they should work outside the home for pay. I find that misery loves company and WOHMs are just so jealous of the luxe lifestyle of DCUM SAHMs.

+1 I am a SAHM whose husband makes over 1 M annually. One of my best friends is a WOHM trying to make partner. I always listen to her regarding her career and give her encouragement. But every time I tell her something that could be bothering me she insinuates it’s because I don’t have a job. The last time I mentioned the ideal for my daughters would be high paying jobs with flexibility she said I had offended her, but I never say anything when she basically tells me that a job would solve all my problems.

You can't make everyone happy if you're a woman. The on acceptable situation to everyone would be a mom with a flexible, good income, socially beneficial, intellectually stimulatung job that is high level yet allows her great work life balance and time to volunteer an be in the door by 5. And of course, she would have a short.commute.

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Anonymous wrote:DH is retired so he makes zero now. One kid/tween in private school.

OMG you’re in every thread. Maybe a job would be fun for you?

Well, you are everywhere commenting on my posts. Can’t find anything better to do or post about!?!

Another one so sick of you, weird family with one middle school age kid and retired 50 something DH (sure I could find more info in another thread of the 50000 times you've posted this)..

Youre weird and old, bye.

Who are you to comment on this poster's family situation - you are the weird one.

In many of these mommy wars threads, the arrows come from both sides. I think this particular thread has one or two very, very angry and very, very jealous WOHMs. It's actually a little amusing.

I never hear SAHMs tell WOHMs to quit work and be home, but I always hear WOHMs tell SAHMs that they should work outside the home for pay. I find that misery loves company and WOHMs are just so jealous of the luxe lifestyle of DCUM SAHMs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many couples do you know who don't have kids and the wife doesn't work? They're obviously out there, but this seems like a real outlier situation. I know tons of DINKS. No stay at home wives.

You must not live in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, McLean, Great Falls, or the very ritzy sections of DC.

I live in Bethesda, on a street with homes over 7 figures and have never seen a housewife. SAHMs, yes. Housewives, nope.

Or maybe I do and have subconsciously never engaged with them because I cant imagine an intelligent phrase could come out of their mouth. Maybe they are just invisible to me?

haha more likely they recognize you as a mean b*tch who has no friends.

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Anonymous wrote:My DH makes about $250,000. Our kids are grown. I have been at home for 26 years. No plans to work outside the home.

What about after you divorce?

A SAHM is better off as over 10 years marriages get the Social Security, half off all assets, plus maybe alimony and most likely house if he cheats.

What about pride and self-sufficiency?? None of that? OK then.

Not everyone equates money with pride and identity. Or self sufficiency, come to that. Just say you and your husband have a net worth of 10 million. You walk with half in a divorce. Are you really that bad off compared to the rest of the population?

Those are the kinds of people I am referring to. Some have much more. They are RICH. As such, their wives don't work. Working for money is for the middle class.

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Anonymous wrote:Don't assume that being a "housewife" is always a "choice." There are many of us who made an initial choice to take care of the kids full time, then when we wanted to go back to work, there was a recession and even past the recession, no one will hire us. Doesn't matter that you are a capable person. Doesn't matter that you have an advanced degree. In some ways, I understand that an employer will favor a person with recent experience over someone with past experience.

But, after a certain number of years (and I don't mean 20), the work world just doesn't want women who have been out of the workforce. We smile and pretend it is our "choice," but that's a cover for the fact that we have been rejected literally hundreds of times.

speak for yourself. Where I live (Manhattan suburbs), few women work and that's because all their husbands earn millions of dollars in finance.

When people don't need the money and even an extra $60k wouldn't make a difference in their lifestyle, they usually choose not to work.

You're not very bright, are you?

The millionaire husband doesn't change the fact that nobody is going to hire these women, whether they want to work or not.

Not you are not that bright. The point is, these women are not even looking for a job. The thought hasn't crossed their minds in YEARS. They're sitting on millions of dollars. Why would they slave away for no reason?

The reason I work is to contribute to society, to be productive, to have a more equal relationship with my husband, to not be financially dependent, to be a good role model for my daughter and sons, to learn new things everyday, to be challenged, to be part of a team, because I have a strong work ethic, because it gives me a life outside my role as a mother and wife. These are just some of the reasons.

That's fine for you. These women who are lifelong SAHMs don't equate money with their contribution to society or their family. You can be happy either way.