At Stanford, I studied at the college bar. Once I could not sufficiently focus on the words on the page, I knew my productivity was shot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how college students have any free time. My son is a freshman and he plays soccer at a Power-5 D1 school. He is taking 15 credits per semester and he spends about 50 hours per week outside of the class room just to keep up. Between going to class, study, meal, and soccer practice/match/travel, he barely has enough time to sleep let alone socializing with other people.

Studying 50 hrs/week = 10 hours a day, 5 days a week OR a little over 7 hours a day, 7 days a week. That is a lot of studying.

To me it is a kid who did not get good guidance on class selection or is at the wrong school..

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how college students have any free time. My son is a freshman and he plays soccer at a Power-5 D1 school. He is taking 15 credits per semester and he spends about 50 hours per week outside of the class room just to keep up. Between going to class, study, meal, and soccer practice/match/travel, he barely has enough time to sleep let alone socializing with other people.

Studying 50 hrs/week = 10 hours a day, 5 days a week OR a little over 7 hours a day, 7 days a week. That is a lot of studying.

I doubt I stepped foot in the library on a Sunday in college. Law school was another story.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how college students have any free time. My son is a freshman and he plays soccer at a Power-5 D1 school. He is taking 15 credits per semester and he spends about 50 hours per week outside of the class room just to keep up. Between going to class, study, meal, and soccer practice/match/travel, he barely has enough time to sleep let alone socializing with other people.

+1. A freshman who thinks they have a lot of free time actually doesn't. There are always semester projects to work on, extra practice set problems to do, exams to study extra for, clubs, orgs, professional meet & greets, on and on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember college. My parents could afford to call me once a week, and I got a letter once a month unless it was a moth when I was going home for break.

Times have changed.

College tuition was $3,000 a year 30 years ago. Now private is $50,000!

In 1980 only 15% of adults had bachelors degrees. Now nearly 40% of millennials do!

Therefore you stalk your child and prevent them from growing up? I don't see the correlation. College was really expensive for my family, but that didn't meant my parents followed me around campus.

I don't understand how college students have any free time. My son is a freshman and he plays soccer at a Power-5 D1 school. He is taking 15 credits per semester and he spends about 50 hours per week outside of the class room just to keep up. Between going to class, study, meal, and soccer practice/match/travel, he barely has enough time to sleep let alone socializing with other people.

I never studied at the library in college. The only time I went there was to do research for a paper and then I would leave, go back to my dorm and type the paper on my computer.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is really creepy that you are stalking your adult child. I have a 12 and 14 yo and I don't stalk them via app when they leave the house.

Very creepy!

My college student usually studies in a 24 hour cafe off campus (she might go to the library between classes during the week). She works on the weekend and may or may not have much time to study on a Sunday. There is no specific time when any given college student "should" be in the library.

OP, there are still 6-7 weeks left in the semester. Giver your adult daughter a chance to figure this stuff out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never studied in the library at college. But occasionally I would do so class reading there because of the nice smoking lounge and a coffee machine.

We all use the find my family app, so it’s not like she’s just not in one of many libraries (or study spots), she’s barely studying.

My kids mainly study in their college dorm room or with friends in group study. They go to the library about 25% of the time they spend studying.

I think it is really creepy that you are stalking your adult child. I have a 12 and 14 yo and I don't stalk them via app when they leave the house.

Your DD should get a burner phone and keep the number secret from you.

Come on OP! This is crazytown. You sound insane trying to stalk your own kid and micromanage her college life. If you are paying tuition, then you can tell your kid you expect them to maintain a certain a certain GPA. Then back off and let them do it.

And delete your stalker apps. Sitting around and checking every 5 minutes: is she studying now? What about now? How about now? And getting increasingly worked up is bad for you and her. What are you doing to do when you discover she spent the night in some guys room?

Plus, you have no idea. I usually studied in my dorm room and was phi beta kappa. I also had an overbearing narcissistic mom and learned how to draw boundaries in college. I would absolutely have left my phone in my room when I went to study, or given it to a guy I knew to take to his room for the night, then have him throw it in his backpack while he wandered around town and went to a movie with friends. And when my mom called upset about studying after stewing all day, would have been like, “what are you talking about? I was in the library for 10 hours today. Oh, my phone? I left it at dinner last night. I need to grab it from Larlo in a couple hours.” Or, I would leave it with a friend in the library and take off for the day.

If I were your DD, I would also turn off the trackers on my phone. My SIL has overbearing parents who made her respond to a pager in College. First she “lost” the pager. When she got a new one it kept “running out of battteries” and “getting left in the dorm room,” so my ILs would call us hysterical when they pager and she didn’t respond (DH and a I lived closer to the campus, but still two hours away). My mother is currrently blocked from seeing most of my FB activity. And I’m 45. But she has nothing better to do than dissect what am have liked and loved, etc and critisize. Don’t be my mother OP. You want a better relationship with your kid.

I graduated from Cornell 20 years ago. Libraries were full by late morning on Sundays. Generally fairly full early Saturday afternoon too.