Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how this ties in, exactly, but I'm the DH and have always been the higher drive part of the couple. However, when we were trying to conceive, my wife was on a mission and scheduled frequent sex for us around the time she was ovulating. When it was a scheduled chore, I definitely found it tedious. Since then, I've never really pushed for more frequent sex than she wants.

Women need a REASON for sex. One reason is she wants a baby. Another is she wants to secure a new relationship. Beyond those 2 specific reasons, women do not often want sex.

I'm super horny and want sex all the time. The difference is I don't have some jerk living in my house who expects sex like he expects me to brush my teeth once a day (as another poster put it).

Married sex is just boring and is undermined by the day-to-day resentments of living with another person.

You're either a troll or an ass. I've been married 36 years and the sex is not boring and I can't fathom resenting my DH who has helped make my life a great adventure. Even my kids say that their Dad's #1 objective is to make me happy. How can I possibly resent a guy like that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how this ties in, exactly, but I'm the DH and have always been the higher drive part of the couple. However, when we were trying to conceive, my wife was on a mission and scheduled frequent sex for us around the time she was ovulating. When it was a scheduled chore, I definitely found it tedious. Since then, I've never really pushed for more frequent sex than she wants.

Women need a REASON for sex. One reason is she wants a baby. Another is she wants to secure a new relationship. Beyond those 2 specific reasons, women do not often want sex.

I'm super horny and want sex all the time. The difference is I don't have some jerk living in my house who expects sex like he expects me to brush my teeth once a day (as another poster put it).

Married sex is just boring and is undermined by the day-to-day resentments of living with another person.

If sex is boring or nonexistent, then you need to look more closely at other areas in the relationship. Communication, passion, efforts outside of the bedroom play a huge part.

We’ve been married for 10 years and our bedroom life is far from boring, both are completely satiated and happy. However, I believe us having a great relationship otherwise is the biggest influence. Also, good communication on feelings and desires, is key.

Do we have arguments or disagreements, sure, that’s part of the passion, too. Sticking with it and coming to a solution is critical. Walking away in silent resentment is a killer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me of conversations I've had with my DW where she tells me that her preferred frequency is the same as a few of her girlfriends, as though that should be the final word on the matter.

My reply is that it's not important what's going on in other couples' bedrooms, it only matters what's going on in ours. If one of us isn't happy with our sex life it's a problem for both of us, whether the other person thinks it is or not.

And how did that go?

About how you might imagine it did.

I’ve said the exact same thing. I’ve gotten - the guys in my office haven’t had sex in three months. For some reason that makes it omay? I don’t care about them.

Of course it’s been months here so I guess she’s fine with it. I’m not. So it’s we fix this or I go elsewhere

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how this ties in, exactly, but I'm the DH and have always been the higher drive part of the couple. However, when we were trying to conceive, my wife was on a mission and scheduled frequent sex for us around the time she was ovulating. When it was a scheduled chore, I definitely found it tedious. Since then, I've never really pushed for more frequent sex than she wants.

Women need a REASON for sex. One reason is she wants a baby. Another is she wants to secure a new relationship. Beyond those 2 specific reasons, women do not often want sex.

I'm super horny and want sex all the time. The difference is I don't have some jerk living in my house who expects sex like he expects me to brush my teeth once a day (as another poster put it).

Married sex is just boring and is undermined by the day-to-day resentments of living with another person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how this ties in, exactly, but I'm the DH and have always been the higher drive part of the couple. However, when we were trying to conceive, my wife was on a mission and scheduled frequent sex for us around the time she was ovulating. When it was a scheduled chore, I definitely found it tedious. Since then, I've never really pushed for more frequent sex than she wants.

Women need a REASON for sex. One reason is she wants a baby. Another is she wants to secure a new relationship. Beyond those 2 specific reasons, women do not often want sex.

While this may describe some women I don't think this describes the modal woman. If you think about how sex arose in animals and the purpose it serves, it would not be a very effective drive if one half of the species was only interested for external purposes and not the at itself.

My experience isn't a representative sample, but the women I've been with seem to enjoy sex just as much or more than I do.

Woman here, everyday would be perfect. It actually happening 2x per month. NOT OK. He's just not driven, never was. I should have taken that more seriously before we were married. Never changed, and got worse.

Anonymous wrote:38 yo DH here, on the hour every hour would be ideal.

37 yo DW here and I totally agree.

38 yo DH here, on the hour every hour would be ideal.

My DH would say every day.

I prefer 3-4x a week except when I’m ovulating (want it all the time).

DW here...this question almost doesn’t make sense to me. I think this would be like asking my husband what is the perfect amount of chocolate. He likes it. And if it is put in front of him in an appealing way, then he will generally partake. But he doesn’t think about it a lot, and he doesn’t really go out of his way for it.
If the sex is good and right there, then I am interested at almost any time. But if it isn’t great or I have to do something difficult to get it, then I am not interested. And I can go a few weeks without really noticing I haven’t had it in a while.

No, DH is not overweight, but AP is taller and bigger. Has a sexy face. Much older than DH and he really knows what he is doing. AP has a very flirting attitude, relaxed and funny. DH is rigid, controlled and controlling. Honestly, it is the attitudes that makes such a big difference at the end with comparable physical features.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.

...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.

Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.

My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"

I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?

Haha, me too. I wonder if I’d care if she was fooling around if I was getting it twice a week?

I am the woman who wrote this. So, the sex with DH is ok, I do it mostly to keep my marriage going. But, when I get to meet my AP on the trips, we have amazing sex. DH and AP are very different looking people, also different styles in sex. I have much higher lust for AP. We have mind blowing sex. There's no way me and DH could achieve it. I consider myself lucky to have met my AP.

Is DH overweight and AP isn’t? The passion is probably increased with AP because it’s wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.

...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.

Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.

My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"

I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?

Haha, me too. I wonder if I’d care if she was fooling around if I was getting it twice a week?

I wouldn't care but the person in the first quote was lying anyways.

I don't know if she was lying or not, but me, 2x/week with DH. Still have an AP. Our frequency isn't great, but when we have it, it is good.

Wow, it’s an epidemic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.

...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.

Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.

My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"

I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?

Haha, me too. I wonder if I’d care if she was fooling around if I was getting it twice a week?

I am the woman who wrote this. So, the sex with DH is ok, I do it mostly to keep my marriage going. But, when I get to meet my AP on the trips, we have amazing sex. DH and AP are very different looking people, also different styles in sex. I have much higher lust for AP. We have mind blowing sex. There's no way me and DH could achieve it. I consider myself lucky to have met my AP.

Slow clap...

Hold on while I wipe away a tear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.

...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.

Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.

My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"

I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?

Haha, me too. I wonder if I’d care if she was fooling around if I was getting it twice a week?

I am the woman who wrote this. So, the sex with DH is ok, I do it mostly to keep my marriage going. But, when I get to meet my AP on the trips, we have amazing sex. DH and AP are very different looking people, also different styles in sex. I have much higher lust for AP. We have mind blowing sex. There's no way me and DH could achieve it. I consider myself lucky to have met my AP.