Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 08:59     Subject: Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Rude. My sis had a kid-free reception, but the three nieces who were in the wedding were of course at the reception as well. I would make an appearance at the reception if I were you, then leave after an hour or so and take the kids out for a fun activity, or the pool or something. At least the older two, while the 3yo is being put to bed by the sitter. DH can stay (or not).
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 08:57     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered that maybe the BIL didn’t want the kids in the wedding? Maybe he did this to please OP?

I would have certainly assumed that the kids were only in the wedding to please either OP or MIL, yes. Including literally one set of kids while excluding everyone else's children does seem to indicate that the couple are compromising their desire to have a kid-free wedding for someone.


OP also had the balls to specifically ask if her kids could be included in the reception. After they were told "no kids." So my bet is you're right - this was BIL's compromise to keep OP happy.


Yes. I can imagine all the conversations since OP thinks her kids are the pinnacle of everyone's life, not just her own. He said let's let them be flower girls, fine. But she wants more. It is not about you OP. You sound difficult and your family knows it.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 08:50     Subject: Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
I think you should just have DH go. Then you will save $$$. Also, if you all go, I think you’ll feel resentful about the whole thing.

I think BIL and his fiancé are just clueless.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 08:37     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered that maybe the BIL didn’t want the kids in the wedding? Maybe he did this to please OP?

I would have certainly assumed that the kids were only in the wedding to please either OP or MIL, yes. Including literally one set of kids while excluding everyone else's children does seem to indicate that the couple are compromising their desire to have a kid-free wedding for someone.


OP also had the balls to specifically ask if her kids could be included in the reception. After they were told "no kids." So my bet is you're right - this was BIL's compromise to keep OP happy.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 08:31     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered that maybe the BIL didn’t want the kids in the wedding? Maybe he did this to please OP?

I would have certainly assumed that the kids were only in the wedding to please either OP or MIL, yes. Including literally one set of kids while excluding everyone else's children does seem to indicate that the couple are compromising their desire to have a kid-free wedding for someone.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:56     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Has anyone considered that maybe the BIL didn’t want the kids in the wedding? Maybe he did this to please OP?
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:56     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
They’ve already talked about it. BIL said no.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:41     Subject: Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Anonymous wrote:It is truly strange that some people decide that because they have kids, they are entitled to change the parameters of an invitation.

Your only options are to accept or decline. The end.
.


I agree mostly, but lets be honest. this scenario is different. you want them there , they aren't in some Marriott in the bride's hometown, they are happily buying and expensive vacation to go, and the kids have obligations for the wedding! it's weird to think they will then hamper the reception for 1-2 hours when they are at every single.other thing as basically a cute prop for the weekend. the request is kind of a dick move, as would ignoring it be. I think some families are closer than just accept or decline and feel like they can at least talk about this.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:36     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do they plan on doing child innapropriate things at this reception? Ie music filled with curse words, overly drunk?

Probably. They also may not feel like having a kid friendly menu, censoring off color jokes, or indulging children who wish to insert themselves into adult conversations.


The oldest is 10, right? I have a child that age. You could seriously take him to the Met Gala. He would be horrified to eat chicken fingers at a proper dinner. It's not anything like bringing a 3 yo.


This is largely cultural too. there are plenty of cultures of groups here in the USA where kids are at evening receptions bc of being part of the wedding party or family members who are at the same events with tons of drinking and dancing, etc. they don't insert themselves or whatever, they stick to their siblings and cousins and do their own thing. parents are dancing and drinking. I've been to maybe 50 weddings like this. I've been to plenty of no kids at all weddings too. and those are obviously great too but never once did I think, oh this stuff is inappropriate for kids at a wedding
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:20     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would just bring my kids down at some point when the bride and groom are too tied up with other guests to notice. Let them dance and have a piece of cake and bring them back upstairs. Its bull to exclude members of the wedding party.

At my wedding, my mother-in-law ditched the agreed upon color scheme for her dress so she would stand out from my mother and DH's step mother.
Mt SIL took her kids who were my flower girl and ring bearer and left for the reception because she didn't feel like 4 and 6 year olds were appropriate wedding guests. She self selected. They were invited. Other kids were there including BIL's 2 year old.
People do what they want and apologize later, or not. And, life goes on.


To be honest I think this is what I'd do. Let them come have a look around and some cake. It's a resort, there will be guests flowing in and out.


Whoa, not one, but TWO entitled assholes on this thread. Who’da thunk it?
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:19     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
I think it makes perfect sense to say no kids at the reception, no exceptions. My sister did this. The kids in the wedding checked out the venue for the reception and were given a cupcake, then left. They ran the numbers and if they allowed kids they would have had something like 100 guests and 40 kids. Having their reception feel like a daycare party was not what they envisioned. It's one weekend, and actually just one event. Agreed with PP, explain it's only for adults and they'll get over it.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:15     Subject: Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
It is truly strange that some people decide that because they have kids, they are entitled to change the parameters of an invitation.

Your only options are to accept or decline. The end.
.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 07:04     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
If it were me, I would probably not go to the reception either and do something with the kids. DH can make an appearance at the reception and then join us.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 04:19     Subject: Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
I think you have to respect what some people want for their wedding. No kids means no kids.

But of course you don't have to attend if you don't want to
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2018 02:28     Subject: Re:Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception
Anonymous wrote:I would purposely throw family focused kids birthday parties for the next year and invite everyone exceptmthe bride and groom and feign forgetfulness or the excuse thst these are kid friendly events and they either have no kids or we didn't thinknthrybwould be interested. You have to go to the wedding now because you have already rsvp'd. Ok would get the kids out quickly after the ceremony so they don't have to participate on pictures. I'm petty.


Clearly. Also, no one really enjoys kid birthday parties anyway.