Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 14:13     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.


If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.


If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:46     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Wow! Impressed. My bf got pregnant at 14. Had 3 by 21. Divorced by 35. Gifted, doing very well in a male dominated field. Her mom knew. Just didn't explain pill use well enough.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:39     Subject: Re:DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
in summary:

Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:32     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

It's legal for 13 year old kids to wear the same unwashed underwear every day, or eat nothing but twinkies, or scream every 4 letter word in the book when they are angry.....that doesn't mean that their parents should allow or encourage them to do that.

Parents who knowingly invite a minor child over to their house to have sex with their minor daughter are terrible parents.



OP's question:

Do I say anything?


NOT OP's question:

Are my daughter's friend's parents terrible parents?

Perhaps you'd like to start a new thread on terrible parents.


But, are they? I think bunch of uptight pps here are clueless about actual US teen culture. Teens were having sex at 13 in the 80s and 90s. Most teens I know today are practically saints compared to what teens did back in the day. And why are they terrible parents? They are just parents who might have different values and expectations than you and OP. Or at least not completely blind like OP.


"actual US teen culture"? Garbage. Our role as parents is to civilize them, not let them raise their atavistic little selves, otherwise they'd be snacking on Tide pods.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:31     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:

It is the case of a 14yo child engaging in activity inappropriate for her age, and in our societal Village we have to look out for each other's children.


Well, you do that, then, PP. Whenever you hear of a child doing something you consider inappropriate, you should be sure to tell the child's parents.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:29     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.


PP, while you're at it, think less about OP (and her capitalization) and think more about whether we as a society want 14yos to be engaged in sexual activity.


?

We as a society don't want lots of people to do lots of things. Almost certainly, you do some things we as a society don't want people like you to do. So should I tell someone in authority over you that someone told me that you told them that you were maybe doing that thing?


To protect a child, even if from herself? Yes. I would certainly expect you to report suspicion of, for example, child abuse or elder abuse.


OK. Do you think that this is a case of child abuse or elder abuse?


It is the case of a 14yo child engaging in activity inappropriate for her age, and in our societal Village we have to look out for each other's children.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:21     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

It's legal for 13 year old kids to wear the same unwashed underwear every day, or eat nothing but twinkies, or scream every 4 letter word in the book when they are angry.....that doesn't mean that their parents should allow or encourage them to do that.

Parents who knowingly invite a minor child over to their house to have sex with their minor daughter are terrible parents.



OP's question:

Do I say anything?


NOT OP's question:

Are my daughter's friend's parents terrible parents?

Perhaps you'd like to start a new thread on terrible parents.


But, are they? I think bunch of uptight pps here are clueless about actual US teen culture. Teens were having sex at 13 in the 80s and 90s. Most teens I know today are practically saints compared to what teens did back in the day. And why are they terrible parents? They are just parents who might have different values and expectations than you and OP. Or at least not completely blind like OP.


The issue is not teenagers having sex (it happens) the issue is the idiot parents allowing it to happen in their home while they are home with someone else's minor child.


And as PP said, let her have sex with herself if the parents are cool with it, not with someone else's kid.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:20     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

It's legal for 13 year old kids to wear the same unwashed underwear every day, or eat nothing but twinkies, or scream every 4 letter word in the book when they are angry.....that doesn't mean that their parents should allow or encourage them to do that.

Parents who knowingly invite a minor child over to their house to have sex with their minor daughter are terrible parents.



OP's question:

Do I say anything?


NOT OP's question:

Are my daughter's friend's parents terrible parents?

Perhaps you'd like to start a new thread on terrible parents.


But, are they? I think bunch of uptight pps here are clueless about actual US teen culture. Teens were having sex at 13 in the 80s and 90s. Most teens I know today are practically saints compared to what teens did back in the day. And why are they terrible parents? They are just parents who might have different values and expectations than you and OP. Or at least not completely blind like OP.


The issue is not teenagers having sex (it happens) the issue is the idiot parents allowing it to happen in their home while they are home with someone else's minor child.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:19     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

NO DON'T TELL THE PARENTS.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:18     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

It's legal for 13 year old kids to wear the same unwashed underwear every day, or eat nothing but twinkies, or scream every 4 letter word in the book when they are angry.....that doesn't mean that their parents should allow or encourage them to do that.

Parents who knowingly invite a minor child over to their house to have sex with their minor daughter are terrible parents.



OP's question:

Do I say anything?


NOT OP's question:

Are my daughter's friend's parents terrible parents?

Perhaps you'd like to start a new thread on terrible parents.


But, are they? I think bunch of uptight pps here are clueless about actual US teen culture. Teens were having sex at 13 in the 80s and 90s. Most teens I know today are practically saints compared to what teens did back in the day. And why are they terrible parents? They are just parents who might have different values and expectations than you and OP. Or at least not completely blind like OP.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:13     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:

It's legal for 13 year old kids to wear the same unwashed underwear every day, or eat nothing but twinkies, or scream every 4 letter word in the book when they are angry.....that doesn't mean that their parents should allow or encourage them to do that.

Parents who knowingly invite a minor child over to their house to have sex with their minor daughter are terrible parents.



OP's question:

Do I say anything?


NOT OP's question:

Are my daughter's friend's parents terrible parents?

Perhaps you'd like to start a new thread on terrible parents.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:12     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. I’m not crazy about it, but it is normal teen behavior. Abuse? Yes. Drugs or other illegal behavior? Yes. Consensual sex? MYOB.


Hope you enjoy being a grandparent, PP! Love how you "MYOB" re: teen sex. Really? No need to find out if it's safe sex? Consensual is your only concern?

OP, if I were the girl's parent I'd want to know. I have a teen DD and would want to know. Even if it wasn't fully true and maybe DD was making up brags to her friends. I'd want to know what was being said.

The "I don't want to betray my daughter" argument is real, but OP, is there truly no way on Earth you can tell the parent without "betraying" your DD? Do you think the parent is going to tell her DD the source, or does your own DD say her friend had only told her?

OP, if your DD were sexually active wouldn't you want to know so you could get her on birth control or talk to her about STDs or even, yes, explain why you wanted her to wait, if that were how you wanted to approach it?


Not too worried about becoming a grandparent prematurely, PP. My own house rules don’t allow for closed bedroom doors when girlfriends or boyfriends are visiting. And my own children got the sex and safe sex talks early and often. For the record, I wouldn’t rule out talking with the girl herself to make sure she is not in an unsafe situation, if I had specific cause for concern about consent or exploitation.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:09     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:In the meantime the boy's parents are in the dark about all of this thinking that this girl and her parents are such nice people...ugh. I can not even...


But I am sure these parents would be the first to go after him if she gets pregnant.

We also do not know if the boy is the same age as her or a couple of years older, which puts him at risk of having his life ruined by charges of statutory rape if the parents change their minds.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:07     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
You still should MYOB.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2018 13:04     Subject: DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not about society wants. A woman, 14 or 34 gets to determine what happens to her body.


+1


A 14 year old is not a woman.


+1. 14yos do not get to make that determination.


Your teens have more rights than you know about.

It depends on the state:

Virginia has a close-in-age exemption. A close in age exemption, also known as "Romeo and Juliet law", is designed to prevent the prosecution of underage couples who engage in consensual sex when both participants are significantly close in age to each other, and one or both are below the age of consent.

A close in age exemption exists that allows teens aged 15-17 to engage in sexual congress with each other, and minors 13-15 to do the same.

DC...Close in age exemptions exist allowing minors to consent to partners less than 4 years older.



Maryland doesn't have the close in age exemption under 16, but two minors close in age are very rarely, if ever prosecuted.


Well I guess it's legal for a 13 year old girl to bring a new 13 year old boy home to her bedroom every week. That does not mean that the vast majority of society thinks that's an o.k. or healthy thing for a 13 year old child to do.


But it does mean it's not SOCIETY'S business. It's up to the minors. Parents should be involved in the discussion, but that's where it ends.

Again, go pray for their souls.


It's legal for 13 year old kids to wear the same unwashed underwear every day, or eat nothing but twinkies, or scream every 4 letter word in the book when they are angry.....that doesn't mean that their parents should allow or encourage them to do that.

Parents who knowingly invite a minor child over to their house to have sex with their minor daughter are terrible parents.