You can't give advice on this type of thing because there are so many variables. I've seen people divorce and end up worse off. Others did ok, but had different problems.

One person shouldn't play into your happiness or unhappiness no matter what you decide. You should be happy all on your own married or single. Unless there's some kind of abuse going on best to weigh it carefully.

Anonymous wrote:At 55 I'd give up and stick it out. As others have suggested, work on making it better. Try marriage counseling if you haven't yet. If you don't make progress with that, try a different counselor. It's too late for big changes. You were just unlucky.

And live 25+ more years unhappily? No way!!

Divorce.

Love all the advice to just stay in awful marriages with someone you do not like, after a certain age, because you're old. So the rest of your life is going to be a whole lot of nothing and you also will be expected to be the caregiver for whoever you are with. You may be a merry widow or widower at 75 or so, if you are not disabled from the caregiving or poor from having to use all your assets to pay for the other person's care. It just proves the ageism that's rampant, your life after 50 or so is not about your own personal happiness. That's reserved for younger people.

We always comment on how everybody in Hollywood gets divorced as if it's a negative thing. Well my take is that's the way everybody would live if they had the money to make free choices. I live in a senior area and don't see many happy senior couples, maybe 25%.

Can you move out and just live separately for awhile? Might be you both need some time and space to think about things. Could go to therapy during that time to try to figure out if you want to reconcile, or if not, how best to do the divorce. You can save a fortune if, instead of paying lawyers, you two work out an agreement and then run it by an attorney to see if it is equitable/if you have your legal rights protected.

At 55 I'd give up and stick it out. As others have suggested, work on making it better. Try marriage counseling if you haven't yet. If you don't make progress with that, try a different counselor. It's too late for big changes. You were just unlucky.

Anonymous wrote:The women I know who've divorced at this age are often socially ostracized and end up regretting it. Why not just get on with your life and your friends? That's what I'm doing.

Socially ostracized by who? I would get rid of those kinds of people to begin with in the house cleaning process, lol.

I do agree you can stay married and move on. Do a good acting job hoping he slips on a banana peel. Currently I have a friend that caught her husband cheating. She's done with him, but decided it would be stupid to cut her own arm off. They are almost retired. I've had younger friends in the same position where it would be better to divorce. Depends on each situation.

You only have one life to live people.

Anonymous wrote:It is sad to read the fear driving these people.

I would not want to be married to someone who stayed only out of worry and fear.