Anonymous wrote:I think people like to say use the perception the PTA is "unwelcoming" as an excuse. Its always easier to assume someone else will do all the work and you can just reap the benefits.

When I first started going to PTA meetings I felt out of place because I did not know anyone. Now some of the people I met through PTA are some of my best friends.

I think everyone has different experiences at different schools. Gasp.

I think people like to say use the perception the PTA is "unwelcoming" as an excuse. Its always easier to assume someone else will do all the work and you can just reap the benefits.

When I first started going to PTA meetings I felt out of place because I did not know anyone. Now some of the people I met through PTA are some of my best friends.

Love my typo!

Anonymous wrote:I am a PTA president, about to start my second year as president because we couldn't convince anyone to take the job on. I don't believe in arm-twisting someone into a volunteer role. My motivation is to support my kids' school and because I think I have the organizational skills to stay on top of all the pieces of the job. But it is a no joke job, year-round. And I can't neatly compartmentalize it into the 4 hours I'd like to spend on it per week - there are daytime meetings, emails all the time, night events, weekend events, Board meetings, regular PTA meetings... the list goes on and on.

Our Board has a mix of moms and dads, but moms (many of whom also have full-time paid employment) do the vast, vast majority of uncompensated PTA labor in our school. One of my goals for the upcoming year is to talk more about this inequity and to scale back on some of the labor-intensive activities the PTA does and try to focus on work that our community values the most and that requires less of us.

This is laudable. Sometimes these things snowball (per the valid teacher appreciation week complaints) into things that are not valued and are a lot of work. Why!??! Brilliant to shit the focus to high-value, low labor things. Like providing t-shirts for field day, for example. We should start a thread of these and see if anyone agrees. Teacher appreciation week is def high labor low value. One catered teacher appreciation lunch? Spectacular.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would make the commitment and do it except that our PTA the past few years has been very unwelcoming and not interested in having members participate so many of us gave up. Maybe you need to look at what you are doing as a group if no one is interested. I volunteered a few times this year at PTA things and felt very unwelcome. Its generally the working parents who are doing it so employment isn't the issue, the group of people running it and what they are doing is the issue along with the principal who is nasty.

As a PTA volunteer, I'd ask you to think hard about what exactly people are doing that makes them unwelcoming. Is it that you expect them to fawn all over you because you're giving up a couple hours of your time-- when I know that the leaders often spend 20+ hours/week every.week.all.year. doing pretty much a thankless job as best they can? Maybe their skill set isn't Julie McCoy!! If you don't like how things are going, step up, introduce yourself, and offer to do something! Write an email! If they don't respond- don't assume it's because they don't want you or are unwelcoming! Maybe they just don't know you and have other things on their mind. Honestly, though, unless your school is really terrible, and your PTA is dysfunctional and mean spirited, I'd re-examine your own attitude.

Lady, if your attitude is any reflection of the “old guard PTO” attitude, you are a nasty and cliquey woman. Why don’t you get a real job and get your head out of your ass?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem is the bureaucracy. What should be just a small group of concerned parents making things nicer and fun for the schools has turned into this monster with bylaws and myriad activities that seem to exist only to justify the existence of the PTA. If we could just scale the whole damn thing back and throw some class parties and a spring fair, it would be a lot better. Why can't the PTA send out an email to parents reminding them that it is "teacher appreciation week" and then let the parents do something or not themselves?

+1. To the myriad of jobs that just exist to justify the PTA - the ridiculous hoopla over teacher appreciation week is a prime example. First of all, a whole week? It's their job. They get paid. One day is fine. Popcorn Day? Homemade soup in a crockpot day? Bring in flowers day? Write a thank you note Day? Really it's a bit much. A reminder to write thank you notes or cards should suffice.

And notice how many of the options require some SAHM skills. Who has time to make soup and run it over in a crockpot. Who even knows how to make soup anymore?

Wait, are you saying that working parents don't know how to cook?? Or that stay at home parents spend all of their days cooking gourmet home cooked meals??? Why turn this into a working parent vs stay at home parent thing? Most of the regular volunteers and board members at my school all work.full.time btw.


Also, there's no requirement to participate in teacher appreciation week if you don't want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem is the bureaucracy. What should be just a small group of concerned parents making things nicer and fun for the schools has turned into this monster with bylaws and myriad activities that seem to exist only to justify the existence of the PTA. If we could just scale the whole damn thing back and throw some class parties and a spring fair, it would be a lot better. Why can't the PTA send out an email to parents reminding them that it is "teacher appreciation week" and then let the parents do something or not themselves?

+1. To the myriad of jobs that just exist to justify the PTA - the ridiculous hoopla over teacher appreciation week is a prime example. First of all, a whole week? It's their job. They get paid. One day is fine. Popcorn Day? Homemade soup in a crockpot day? Bring in flowers day? Write a thank you note Day? Really it's a bit much. A reminder to write thank you notes or cards should suffice.

And notice how many of the options require some SAHM skills. Who has time to make soup and run it over in a crockpot. Who even knows how to make soup anymore?

PTA board member here. What schools make it mandatory to participate for every activity during Teacher Appreciation week?

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem is the bureaucracy. What should be just a small group of concerned parents making things nicer and fun for the schools has turned into this monster with bylaws and myriad activities that seem to exist only to justify the existence of the PTA. If we could just scale the whole damn thing back and throw some class parties and a spring fair, it would be a lot better. Why can't the PTA send out an email to parents reminding them that it is "teacher appreciation week" and then let the parents do something or not themselves?

It's not bureaucracy per se - it's the fact that PTAs are non-profit organizations, so there are a myriad of rules and regulations that need to be followed to keep on the right side of the IRS. So, yes, the President and Treasurer roles are like having a 2nd job - it's not martyrdom, it's reality - those people are running a non-profit organization for free. It is a lot of work and it does make it hard to find new people to be on the board because most people don't have the time or inclination to do so, especially when all of the other parents will wind up criticizing you for not doing a perfect job.

We had a treasurer one year who really messed things up - didn't know what they were doing at all. But that's what happens when you ask people to take on a job that other people get paid for in real life (being an accountant/bookkeeper) for free. The treasurer has to file all kinds of tax forms, arrange audits, make sure every single transaction is entered correctly, write reimbursement checks, the list goes on and on.

It's understandable why most people don't want to take it on.

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem is the bureaucracy. What should be just a small group of concerned parents making things nicer and fun for the schools has turned into this monster with bylaws and myriad activities that seem to exist only to justify the existence of the PTA. If we could just scale the whole damn thing back and throw some class parties and a spring fair, it would be a lot better. Why can't the PTA send out an email to parents reminding them that it is "teacher appreciation week" and then let the parents do something or not themselves?

+1. To the myriad of jobs that just exist to justify the PTA - the ridiculous hoopla over teacher appreciation week is a prime example. First of all, a whole week? It's their job. They get paid. One day is fine. Popcorn Day? Homemade soup in a crockpot day? Bring in flowers day? Write a thank you note Day? Really it's a bit much. A reminder to write thank you notes or cards should suffice.

And notice how many of the options require some SAHM skills. Who has time to make soup and run it over in a crockpot. Who even knows how to make soup anymore?

Part of the problem is the bureaucracy. What should be just a small group of concerned parents making things nicer and fun for the schools has turned into this monster with bylaws and myriad activities that seem to exist only to justify the existence of the PTA. If we could just scale the whole damn thing back and throw some class parties and a spring fair, it would be a lot better. Why can't the PTA send out an email to parents reminding them that it is "teacher appreciation week" and then let the parents do something or not themselves?

Anonymous wrote:Describing PTA board membership as "a second job" also doesn't make it particularly inviting for parents who already have a lot on their plate. I understand that it feeds your martydom, but it's also pushing people away.

On our PTA, which I think is typical, it really depends on the Board position. I have described some positions as “a great way to learn more about the school, the PTA, and how it all works.” But President and Treasurer? Those I’d describe as a second job. No reason to lie to people or have them be so overwhelmed they quit after a month.

Describing PTA board membership as "a second job" also doesn't make it particularly inviting for parents who already have a lot on their plate. I understand that it feeds your martydom, but it's also pushing people away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would make the commitment and do it except that our PTA the past few years has been very unwelcoming and not interested in having members participate so many of us gave up. Maybe you need to look at what you are doing as a group if no one is interested. I volunteered a few times this year at PTA things and felt very unwelcome. Its generally the working parents who are doing it so employment isn't the issue, the group of people running it and what they are doing is the issue along with the principal who is nasty.

I hear that a lot and don't believe people anymore when they say this. I've been yelled at by a fellow PTA officer and I still volunteered for the post I was voted into. People expect the teachers and PTA to fawn over them and grovel if they show up to help, but that can't be the case all the time. YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS FOR THE PLAUDITS. YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS FOR YOUR KID ONLY. These are the two things people must understand.

I agree with this. People also have no idea how much time and energy PTA officers give to the school. It's insane. I cannot speak for any other school, but our PTA isn't unwelcoming-- it's getting shit done and we need help. It's not a social club, it's a second job. If volunteers expect to be celebrated for showing up, then they are not understanding the nature of the PTA or the people who work in it.

I expect people to be friendly, say hello if I say hello and say more than two words to me. And, if I try to help, don't say we have it under control as why ask for volunteers and waste my time if you don't want it. I am not there for social hour and have no interest in being friends.

DP, I stopped volunteering with our elementary’s school PTA as it was very uncomfortable socially. I volunteered to help at a couple of events and the people running the event would just sit and talk to each other and were not receptive to including me. It was very cliquey. I volunteered in other ways at the school after that that were not PTA related: such as volunteering in the classroom, recess monitor, etc. Now that my kids are in middle/high school, I’ve gotten involved in the PTA again.

My PTA experience as an introvert start off just like this. What I found out after I attend a few events, was that the other moms who were all talking to each other were also introverts and also were not good at striking up conversations with random strangers. They had one friend who was super outgoing and convinced them to come along and help so they did.

There is this wildly unrealistic expectation that many parents have that all those involved with the PTA will be super outgoing, super chipper, super over welcoming and then when they actually go and meet the moms, they find out that most are just normal moms - many introverts - who yes, say hello but don't go overboard and get anxious when talking to strangers and fret over what to say.

I found that I after attending events for a few months and then volunteering for a small sub committee that as a PP mentioned just met in the evening once or twice at someone's home, I became more comfortable.

Op, which position are you volunteering for?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a PTA president, about to start my second year as president because we couldn't convince anyone to take the job on. I don't believe in arm-twisting someone into a volunteer role. My motivation is to support my kids' school and because I think I have the organizational skills to stay on top of all the pieces of the job. But it is a no joke job, year-round. And I can't neatly compartmentalize it into the 4 hours I'd like to spend on it per week - there are daytime meetings, emails all the time, night events, weekend events, Board meetings, regular PTA meetings... the list goes on and on.

Our Board has a mix of moms and dads, but moms (many of whom also have full-time paid employment) do the vast, vast majority of uncompensated PTA labor in our school. One of my goals for the upcoming year is to talk more about this inequity and to scale back on some of the labor-intensive activities the PTA does and try to focus on work that our community values the most and that requires less of us.

If you cannot get more people to volunteer, maybe look what you are doing as a group to encourage/discourage people from volunteering. Maybe listen to what others are saying.

What they are mostly saying is, "Thank you for doing this work. I am grateful that it's you and not me."

Volunteering is a luxury. A school structured around parents (moms) volunteering will fall into certain patterns. As PTA president, I'd like to try to break some of those patterns. Or at least make sure they are visible. I know that my PTA volunteering does not serve my kids directly - it actually takes time away from them, and makes me less likely to volunteer as a field trip chaperone, etc. But I think it helps our school.