Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

You have to value education just the right amount and just the right way.

It's the "American way is the only way" mentality.

That father *clearly* values education and wants what he thinks is best for his kid. He is willing to put that effort into it. Doesn't matter if he's an immigrant or not. If most American parents could put half the amount of effort into their kids' education as this father does, I bet kids would be doing a lot better in school.

I am not saying every parent should be like that father, but we need more parents who care about their kids' education, not less, and mocking such a parent is not helpful.

Okay, but do you really think that degree of micromanaging a kid's *elementary school* career is healthy? My kid got into the CES without any of that. She was a naturally brilliant kid, whom everyone recognized as an outlier, and who from second grade sought out her own supplementary materials. All I did was take her to the library and let her pick what she wanted. She did the rest on her own, as it should be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

You have to value education just the right amount and just the right way.

It's the "American way is the only way" mentality.

That father *clearly* values education and wants what he thinks is best for his kid. He is willing to put that effort into it. Doesn't matter if he's an immigrant or not. If most American parents could put half the amount of effort into their kids' education as this father does, I bet kids would be doing a lot better in school.


Okay, but do you really think that degree of micromanaging a kid's *elementary school* career is healthy? My kid got into the CES without any of that. She was a naturally brilliant kid, whom everyone recognized as an outlier, and who from second grade sought out her own supplementary materials. All I did was take her to the library and let her pick what she wanted. She did the rest on her own, as it should be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

+1 OMG. This is so right on target. I've been really disgusted by the comments. Black/brown/Asian parents and kids just can't get a break no matter what they do.

What makes you think white parents are starting the achievement gap threads. Genuine question. When I see those, I assume it's Asian parents. Actually I've come to assume this entire forum tips Asian.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

+1 OMG. This is so right on target. I've been really disgusted by the comments. Black/brown/Asian parents and kids just can't get a break no matter what they do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

You have to value education just the right amount and just the right way.

It's the "American way is the only way" mentality.

That father *clearly* values education and wants what he thinks is best for his kid. He is willing to put that effort into it. Doesn't matter if he's an immigrant or not. If most American parents could put half the amount of effort into their kids' education as this father does, I bet kids would be doing a lot better in school.


Okay, but do you really think that degree of micromanaging a kid's *elementary school* career is healthy? My kid got into the CES without any of that. She was a naturally brilliant kid, whom everyone recognized as an outlier, and who from second grade sought out her own supplementary materials. All I did was take her to the library and let her pick what she wanted. She did the rest on her own, as it should be.

I am not saying every parent should be like that father, but we need more parents who care about their kids' education, not less, and mocking such a parent is not helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

+1 OMG. This is so right on target. I've been really disgusted by the comments. Black/brown/Asian parents and kids just can't get a break no matter what they do.

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

Anonymous wrote:
Also, there is no magic formula, really. I know kids who did all this and ended up not getting into the magnet. In fact, majority of the kids who go to these classes do not get in. So there is no way one can point to a kid and say he or she qualified for a magnet program only because of mathnasium/A plus/etc. It is not my cup of tea, but I will not blame the parents who send their kids to those classes as the reason for my DC not getting into a magnet program. (Well, I do pity them since I think it is a waste of money - but hey, to each his own..)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP. +1, PP. Sometimes true.

A girl from our school - from a first-generation immigrant Chinese family - got accepted. Her father has literally lived at our school starting from K (I guess his government job gave him this ample opportunity), volunteering for every single event and knowing everyone and everybody. He micromanaged his kid education down to the selection of books she read. He was hanging out in class every Friday. And, of course, for the girl, there were Kumons, Mathnasiums, and, the culmination of it all, A plus with the entire fall semester worth of Cogat prep.

Honestly, I have seriously mixed feelings about this. That girl is not a genius, not even close (as fate would have it, she used to be good friends with my child, until intense test-prep put too many demands on her schedule), but the sheer amount of determination/time/money/effort and opportunity cost that went into this girl's admission makes me think, hey, that dad did it. Mission accomplished, and, in some twisted way, it is fair.

However, this has nothing to do with 'gifts' and 'talents', this is outright cramming on the part of the child coupled with curry favoring on the part of the parent.

PP, you are way up in this child's business. Which means, additionally, that you know that the costs of this approach may very well far outweigh the benefit of admission into a CES.

+1 My first and only thought was "poor kid."

Of course, because a different way than yours is a harmful, crazy way, right?
How about we rewrite this with a new perspective?
Recent immigrant notices that his child is running circles around her preschool friends academically. Perhaps it is because he reads to her and does simple math games with her in the car, or perhaps because she is taught to listen to her teacher and do her very best, or perhaps because she is just clever that way. When kindergarten starts, he hopes the school will challenge her, but quickly realizes that the class pace allows for little differentiation. She cries at home because she is not learning anything, her classmates are super loud and disruptive, and she is frustrated. He decides to volunteer and sees that some of the kids are just now learning how to hold a book. Most of the kids talk only about the tv shows they watch. The teacher is kind and supportive and dealing with too much to give her more than a few minutes of enrichment a day. He asks if he can volunteer to help and she tells him that would be awesome. He comes in weekly and does photocopies, helps in reading groups and makes the teacher (and kids) lives a little better for two hours a week. He goes along on class trips and such because his daughter is a little clingy and also because he generally enjoys being with the kids. The next few years are similar, except that he comes to realize that the school has absolutely no plans to challenge his daughter’s mind unless she goes to CES. He sees how she plays “math” games on the computer and how the school library is increasingly stocked with graphic novels that have all the academic virtue of bubblegum. He decides that his daughter is perfectly capable of more and he tries a prep program. She likes it fine (way better than regular school!) and makes great leaps in math and reading. They suggest that he encourage her to read at least some “real” books instead of series trash and he couldn’t agree more. They seem to be the only people he has met in this country who believe that his daughter deserves to learn something when she is at school. In reading more interesting books, his daughter learns to love reading and gains a phenomenal vocabulary. His daughter makes friends in the weekend classes and they go to the park together for the afternoon. Those kids have something to talk about other than tv shows and video games and they don’t freak her out with constant misbehavior so she is happy to play with them.
She gets into CES and everyone looks daggers at her evil dad for supporting her mind.

Not saying this version is true, just that you don’t know if that little girl is bright or brilliant because you have no ability to assess that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

You have to value education just the right amount and just the right way.

It's the "American way is the only way" mentality.

That father *clearly* values education and wants what he thinks is best for his kid. He is willing to put that effort into it. Doesn't matter if he's an immigrant or not. If most American parents could put half the amount of effort into their kids' education as this father does, I bet kids would be doing a lot better in school.

I am not saying every parent should be like that father, but we need more parents who care about their kids' education, not less, and mocking such a parent is not helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

You have to value education just the right amount and just the right way.

Anonymous wrote:Some (white) folks on DCUM are really truly awful.

If a Black or brown kid doesn't do well, it is because their parents "don't value education."


But if a first generation immigrant kid of color does well, it is because her dad volunteers at the school too much.

My G-d.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP. +1, PP. Sometimes true.

A girl from our school - from a first-generation immigrant Chinese family - got accepted. Her father has literally lived at our school starting from K (I guess his government job gave him this ample opportunity), volunteering for every single event and knowing everyone and everybody. He micromanaged his kid education down to the selection of books she read. He was hanging out in class every Friday. And, of course, for the girl, there were Kumons, Mathnasiums, and, the culmination of it all, A plus with the entire fall semester worth of Cogat prep.

Honestly, I have seriously mixed feelings about this. That girl is not a genius, not even close (as fate would have it, she used to be good friends with my child, until intense test-prep put too many demands on her schedule), but the sheer amount of determination/time/money/effort and opportunity cost that went into this girl's admission makes me think, hey, that dad did it. Mission accomplished, and, in some twisted way, it is fair.

However, this has nothing to do with 'gifts' and 'talents', this is outright cramming on the part of the child coupled with curry favoring on the part of the parent.

PP, you are way up in this child's business. Which means, additionally, that you know that the costs of this approach may very well far outweigh the benefit of admission into a CES.

+1 My first and only thought was "poor kid."