Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was waiting for people to start complaining. Typical ungrateful complainers. It's only 7am for pete's sake!

It’s the annual DCUM “My Husband is a Jackass Because He Didn’t Meet My Secret Expectations For Mother’s Day Even Though I am Not His Mother” thread.
Drink up, bitchez!

I'm of the camp that just because a spouse isn't your parent doesn't mean you don't celebrate them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Sorry, but good moms don’t allow disrespect like that, nor do they write it off as being apart of a disease. Your son has major boundary and respect issues— and should have gotten the shit knocked out of him...simple as that

I’m not the pp you were responding to, but...good moms knock the shit out of their kids? In that case, I guess I’m not a good mom either.

If you allow your child to talk to you any kind of way, than no, you are not a good mother. Period. Teens and preteens are old enough to get slapped

Yikes. Teaching your kids that the way to deal with others’ unacceptable behavior is to respond with violence? No wonder we have such a violence problem in this country.

Responding as a doormat is better?

Black and white - are those the only colors available?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, nothing horrible. This morning DH ran out and picked up some flowers from the local grocery store.

But definitely none of those fantastic breakfasts made by kids or any adorable heart-felt cards made by kids that everyone's been posting on FB. Definitely no happy photos of happy mom surrounded by happy smiling kids. My kids hate getting their picture taken.

My younger one was at a campout and got back in the afternoon. He hidn't even remember it was mother's day until i called my own mom and then I got a lukewarm "happy mother's day". He has ADHD, obviously didn't sleep at the camp out, and is now fighting with DH over something stupid.

My boys aren't sentimental, definitely aren't the stereotypical "boys who love their mommies," and I have basically written off ever having a Hallmark style Mother's Day. I'll be lucky if they remember to call me when they've moved out of the house. It helps not to have high expectactions.

eh, you didn't call your own mom until late this afternoon?

I called her at 12:30 her time, after she got back from church. Why do you ask?

O.k. I wasn't aware that you were on such different time zones. It sounded like your son got back from camp in the afternoon and after that you called your mom - which I assumed meant that the majority of the day had gone by until you called her.

Did you send her a card or flowers? What about your dh's mom?

Yes I did both for both. Again why do you ask? (And not sure why you’re asking what I did for my MIL. In fact I did send her flowers and a card because my DH had been out of town on business for a week, but that’s strange that you would presume that I, not my DH, am responsible for honoring his mother.)
Would you like to share your own Mother’s Day actions with us to see if they pass some kind of standards test?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Sorry, but good moms don’t allow disrespect like that, nor do they write it off as being apart of a disease. Your son has major boundary and respect issues— and should have gotten the shit knocked out of him...simple as that

I’m not the pp you were responding to, but...good moms knock the shit out of their kids? In that case, I guess I’m not a good mom either.

If you allow your child to talk to you any kind of way, than no, you are not a good mother. Period. Teens and preteens are old enough to get slapped

Yikes. Teaching your kids that the way to deal with others’ unacceptable behavior is to respond with violence? No wonder we have such a violence problem in this country.

Responding as a doormat is better?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Sorry, but good moms don’t allow disrespect like that, nor do they write it off as being apart of a disease. Your son has major boundary and respect issues— and should have gotten the shit knocked out of him...simple as that

I’m not the pp you were responding to, but...good moms knock the shit out of their kids? In that case, I guess I’m not a good mom either.

If you allow your child to talk to you any kind of way, than no, you are not a good mother. Period. Teens and preteens are old enough to get slapped

Yikes. Teaching your kids that the way to deal with others’ unacceptable behavior is to respond with violence? No wonder we have such a violence problem in this country.

Anonymous wrote:Husband great but 4.5 stayed up too late with babysitter and is currently on minute 15 of a screeching tantrum about morning so I'm not particularly feeling the joy of motherhood right now

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Sorry, but good moms don’t allow disrespect like that, nor do they write it off as being apart of a disease. Your son has major boundary and respect issues— and should have gotten the shit knocked out of him...simple as that

I’m not the pp you were responding to, but...good moms knock the shit out of their kids? In that case, I guess I’m not a good mom either.

If you allow your child to talk to you any kind of way, than no, you are not a good mother. Period. Teens and preteens are old enough to get slapped

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, nothing horrible. This morning DH ran out and picked up some flowers from the local grocery store.

But definitely none of those fantastic breakfasts made by kids or any adorable heart-felt cards made by kids that everyone's been posting on FB. Definitely no happy photos of happy mom surrounded by happy smiling kids. My kids hate getting their picture taken.

My younger one was at a campout and got back in the afternoon. He hidn't even remember it was mother's day until i called my own mom and then I got a lukewarm "happy mother's day". He has ADHD, obviously didn't sleep at the camp out, and is now fighting with DH over something stupid.

My boys aren't sentimental, definitely aren't the stereotypical "boys who love their mommies," and I have basically written off ever having a Hallmark style Mother's Day. I'll be lucky if they remember to call me when they've moved out of the house. It helps not to have high expectactions.

eh, you didn't call your own mom until late this afternoon?

I called her at 12:30 her time, after she got back from church. Why do you ask?

O.k. I wasn't aware that you were on such different time zones. It sounded like your son got back from camp in the afternoon and after that you called your mom - which I assumed meant that the majority of the day had gone by until you called her.

Did you send her a card or flowers? What about your dh's mom?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abusive ex has sent DD over with a handmade card the last two years. A**hole. He couldn't be bothered to do anything when we were married, and this is just a purppseful mindf***. I hung it up. She tried to write happy mother's day. I love that she wrote it.

He will mever get anything for father's day from me unless school sends it home.

Why do you have to (choose to) read a handmade card as a purposeful mind$&@k? Maybe your daughter wants to make one!

I'm widowed and my Dad took my younger DC shopping and offered to give her money to increase her $3 budget. She was not having it. She must make the card herself and knows the perfect gift for me is a marzipan ritter sport at $2.49.

Why not view your handmade card as a way bigger expression of love than a hallmark canned greeting, made with care and thought into what you will like, and pride in trying to write it out herself?

This. We have DD make handmade cards for many occasions, because she wants to, and because I think they have much more meaning than stupid storebought cards. I love getting handmade cards from the kids!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Sorry, but good moms don’t allow disrespect like that, nor do they write it off as being apart of a disease. Your son has major boundary and respect issues— and should have gotten the shit knocked out of him...simple as that

I’m not the pp you were responding to, but...good moms knock the shit out of their kids? In that case, I guess I’m not a good mom either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Sorry, but good moms don’t allow disrespect like that, nor do they write it off as being apart of a disease. Your son has major boundary and respect issues— and should have gotten the shit knocked out of him...simple as that

I’m not the pp you were responding to, but...good moms knock the shit out of their kids? In that case, I guess I’m not a good mom either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Sorry, but good moms don’t allow disrespect like that, nor do they write it off as being apart of a disease. Your son has major boundary and respect issues— and should have gotten the shit knocked out of him...simple as that

Anonymous wrote:I'm sick today and my twelve year old DS told me to "stop whining and bitching about it."

A lot of people think it's terrible that he would speak to me like that- but because I'm his mom, I know his ADHD makes him impulsive but not mean.

It hurt my feelings and of course I talked with him about being respectful. He balances out some nastiness with some exceptionally nice behavior- he used my phone to text back and forth with his elderly grandmother quite bit this morning (she loved it) and he paid attention to our needy, affectionate dog.

DH is on work travel- and family lives far away, so no fancy brunches, but that's okay.

Being a parent is kind of hard and complicated sometimes- especially when kids are in some rough patches of tween and teen. I love my DS and I think he's a blessing (even on bad days).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abusive ex has sent DD over with a handmade card the last two years. A**hole. He couldn't be bothered to do anything when we were married, and this is just a purppseful mindf***. I hung it up. She tried to write happy mother's day. I love that she wrote it.

He will mever get anything for father's day from me unless school sends it home.

Why do you have to (choose to) read a handmade card as a purposeful mind$&@k? Maybe your daughter wants to make one!

I'm widowed and my Dad took my younger DC shopping and offered to give her money to increase her $3 budget. She was not having it. She must make the card herself and knows the perfect gift for me is a marzipan ritter sport at $2.49.

Why not view your handmade card as a way bigger expression of love than a hallmark canned greeting, made with care and thought into what you will like, and pride in trying to write it out herself?

I think Op is bitter because when they were married her ex never did a thing for her for Mother's Day. Now that they are divorced he is suddenly doing something thoughtful for Op which also gives her daughter the impression that Daddy has always been a nice and thoughtful guy to Op. In reality, he's "nice" to Op to make HIMSELF look good in the eyes of his daughter. Op knows this and it truly grates on her.

Op needs to let go of the bitterness. I see nothing wrong with the card

Op should focus on the fact that her DAUGHTER is doing something sweet for her on Mother's Day. That's the important thing. Forget the ex.

I totally understand how Op does not want to be put in the position of doing something equally thoughtful for her ex on Father's Day. But I think that Op should provide her daughter with construction paper, markers, etc and give her daughter the opportunity to do something thoughtful for her dad on Father's Day.

Only if her daughter asks for it.